Now That We've Found Love
by greys.endoftheworld
Summary: This is a version of the love story between Miranda Bailey and Ben Warren. They've been dating for a few months, everything is great and they're ready to take things to the next level. But Miranda wonders what level that is: sex or love? It picks up from just before 6.22. There is also dialogue from Seasons 5 and 6. This was requested and I hope everyone has fun reading it!
1. The Motto

**The Motto**

It was one thing to not have any surgeries or procedures to perform and to have nothing pressing on her schedule, but Dr. Miranda Bailey was standing outside of Seattle Grace Hospital and was actively hoping for an ambulance to pull up or future patients to arrive… anything. Inside she was feeling giddy. She thoroughly enjoyed her job and took great honor and pleasure in helping others. But outside, her face was serious; she had a tough reputation to uphold. "Dr. Bailey?" One of her residents, Cristina Yang, asked. Yang was a very talented resident, but her social skills were painfully lacking.

Miranda crossed her arms across her chest. "What is it, Yang?" Miranda asked; her voice chilled much like the Washington air.

"What are we doing?" The girl asked.

Miranda licked her lips. "We're waiting."

"For?" Yang asked. Miranda looked from the eager resident to the other two; quiet and patient.

"A miracle, Yang," Miranda answered. "Someone will come."

The answer didn't satisfy the resident. "So we're standing out here in hopes that someone is severely injured? Wishing and praying that someone is so hurt and so near death that—"

"Yes!" Miranda answered without making eye contact. The other residents snickered.

"You and God are cool with that?" Another one asked with a sly smile. His name was Alex Karev and his cocky attitude and grouchy disposition made others hate him, but it only drew Miranda in. She knew there was more under the surface; plus, he was a hard worker. And that counted for everything. The other resident, Meredith Grey continued to look up and down the driveway in search of an ambulance. She was an undercover feisty doctor and she'd make a great surgeon.

Miranda sighed. "Damn it," she said hanging her head slightly. "I forgot about God." She tried to hide a smile as she ushered them back into the hospital. "All right—let's just go on back inside and wait."

Back inside of the warm hospital, Miranda heard: "Dr. Bailey to the Nurses' Station. Dr. Bailey to the Nurses' Station."

She perked up. Maybe a surgery was on the horizon. She hadn't been so tired of waiting for something to happen in the hospital for a long time. She turned to her residents. "Go and find something to do," she told them before she walked off. As she approached the Nurses' Station, her heart sped up and her mouth went dry. She looked over and saw Dr. Ben Warren leaning over the desk talking to a nurse. Miranda knew the nurse, Jessica Bokhee, known to everyone as Bokhee, the best scrub nurse in the hospital. Miranda tried to slow down her heart and moisten her mouth at the same time. She took a deep breath and swallowed. "Dr. Warren." She walked up to him and put her hands on her hips, pushing her lab coat back a little.

"Dr. Bailey," Ben responded loud enough for anyone within earshot to hear. Then he whispered: "May I tell you that you look very beautiful today?"

Miranda blushed. She still wasn't used to having a _boyfriend_ yet. And definitely not one that worked in such close proximities to her. The last guy she dated, she ended up marrying, her ex-husband, Tucker Jones. They'd been married for more than a decade and, together, they had a child. An amazing and adorable almost four-year old little boy named William George Bailey Jones, affectionately called 'Tuck'. Simply put, he was the light of her life. Being doctor meant that some days would be great and some days would even be good, but there'd be other days that would be bad and sometimes unbearable and she needed something or someone who could brighten her spirits after a loss or a setback. For Miranda, that person used to be Tucker, but she'd grown tired of his condescending attitude towards her and her work. He didn't understand her need to be a great surgeon and why she'd spent so much time in the hospital logging hours in all of the specialties. She just wanted to be the best. He wasn't physically abusive, he wasn't that crazy, but he verbally attacked her motherhood and her being and while it was never okay, she always accepted it, letting it roll off of her back. One day, a patient, Davis, had come in with his wife, Skylar, and she saw the way they interacted and how every time he looked at her, his eyes were filled with love. How she spoke lovingly of him, even when he wasn't around and how they touched, easily and unapologetically. After meeting them and explaining the next steps, Miranda excused herself. And rushed out of the room, nearly knocking someone over, and into a nearby supply closet where she broke down. Every tear made her heart lighter, but every time she tried to leave the closet, more tears would fall. Watching Davis and Skylar made her realize that she and Tucker were no longer meant for each other, they no longer supported each other, no longer had sex. And she was no longer happy. They were no longer happy. Miranda gathered the courage to go and see a lawyer, one that her good friend, Dr. Addison Montgomery, had suggested. The divorce lawyer, Elizabeth Abernathy, was so kind and sat with Miranda as she spilled her guts. Elizabeth sympathized and suggested that Miranda file for divorce. "Sounds like a misunderstanding between you two," Elizabeth had said quietly.

"Yes!" Miranda had screeched through tears. "That's exactly it. We have…we have differing ideas of how our lives are supposed to go. He wants me to cut back my hours, to stay at home with Tuck. Which, of course, I want to do, too, but not because he wants me to, but because I want to! And I'll be able to finally be able to do just that once I become an Attending." Elizabeth had nodded. Miranda thought for a minute. "Also—it wouldn't have been _so_ bad if the bastard wasn't cheating." Miranda had laughed through her tears.

"Yeah, if it wasn't for that little snafu," Elizabeth had said making Miranda laugh a little more.

The tears subsided. "Tucker used to be able make me laugh so easily and so often, but…we don't laugh anymore." Elizabeth gave Miranda a smile, her head cocked to the side. Miranda had sighed deeply. "It's over. I need to move on. Draw up the papers, please."

"Hopefully, he won't contest it," Elizabeth had said as she clicked on her computer.

"Oh, he will," Miranda had scratched her arm and scoffed. "He won't want to work out the damned marriage, but he also won't hesitate to hold up the process." She'd shaken her head.

That had been six months ago. And she and Tucker still hadn't come to a conclusion about their failed marriage. It was so draining. There was a time when she didn't mind going through the back and forth surrounding the divorce, trying to come out smelling rosy. Now that she had a new man in her life, she didn't want to fight; she just wanted to be happy.

Ben touched her shoulder, bringing her back to the present. "Everything good?" He asked sincerely.

Miranda smiled and nodded: "Yeah, I'm good. Just in my own little world."

"I hope I'm in there, too," Ben said.

Miranda's heart fluttered. "Yea-well, um, uh… someone paged me here."

"That was me."

"Well, what do you want?" Miranda asked feigning annoyance. At five feet, she had to physically look up and make eye contact. Her eyes scanned his six-foot frame covered in navy blue scrubs. He was so handsome, his brown eyes were warm and his muscles always made her want to be held by them. She waited for an answer.

"I didn't see your name on the OR board, so I just wanted to be fancy and call you over the entire hospital."

Miranda's eyes widened. "Oh my goodness!" She whisper-yelled. She grabbed Ben's arm and pulling him away from the Nurses' Station. "I am working, Ben Warren."

"I know. I know. I was only kidding. I see you have a gastrectomy that's been pushed until tomorrow." Miranda nodded. "So I was hoping that you wouldn't mind if I observed?"

She was so confused. "Like be the anesthesiologist?"

"Naw," he said with a chuckle. "I want to watch you perform the surgery."

"Oh! Yeah! Sure," she said nodding. "I don't know the exact protocol, but I'm perfectly fine with it. I'll ask the Chief and see if it's possible. I'm hoping that he'll assist me." Miranda made a mental note to ask her mentor, Richard Webber, the Chief of Surgery at Seattle Grace-Mercy West Hospital.

"Cool!" Ben clapped his hands together. Miranda smiled at him before turning to walk away. He touched her elbow gently. "We're still on for tomorrow right?" Miranda's mind scrambled as she struggled to come up with a response. She and Ben had been dating for two months now and everything was going better than she'd ever expected. But she still got nervous before every date. She managed to nod through her nerves. "Can I get a verbal commitment?"

"Tomorrow. Yes. I can't wait," Miranda said. "So…where are we going?"

"Somewhere cool. You can dress casually."

"That's all I'm getting, isn't it?"

"Maybe," Ben said winking.

Miranda scoffed. "Go away!" He smiled and continued on his way. She shook her head as she moved to catch up with her residents. One of them paged her to the ER. She saw several gurneys coming in. Miranda thanked God that her day would finally get put back on track. She jumped in to get her hands dirty.


	2. The Likes of You

**The Likes of You**

Miranda's eyes popped open and she looked around her room, a little disoriented. She made a face and groaned a little. A small headache was brewing behind her eye. And it would get out of control if she didn't curb it with Tylenol and food. She said a quick prayer, took three deep breaths and rolled out of bed. Sliding into her slippers, she went to the chair in the corner of the room, picked up her robe and pulled it on. She tightened it as she headed to her son's room and sat on the edge of his bed. "Tuck," she said rubbing her eyes. She smiled as she saw him turn in her direction and peek at her with one eye open and one closed. Miranda rubbed her eyes again. He looked so much like her (almost) ex-husband. Sometimes when he looked at him, she could clearly see Tucker or her father, even her mother, everyone except the one person she wanted to see the most, herself. And it frustrated her to no end. The three-year old scrunched up his face and moaned a little. Miranda smiled. _Hello, little Miranda_ , she thought _._ She bent down to kiss his head and told him that it was time to get up. "And you're going to daddy's house this weekend, so he's going to come and get you from school."

His eyes brightened and he moved out of the bed, hopping down to the carpeted floor. "Yay!" He said excitedly. She wondered if he felt the same way about coming back home. Was he as excited to see her as he was to see his father? "Are you coming?" He asked.

A lump appeared in her throat, one that challenged her headache. Even though it had been six months, Tuck still wasn't used to her separation from Tucker. There were still nights when he'd ask when Daddy was coming home. She was just glad that his behavior in school was a lot better now compared to last year. Last year, she and Tucker were constantly being called in because their son was hitting other students and having severe temper tantrums. There had been several meetings about whether he was academically and emotionally ready to be in Pre-K 4, being a full year and a half behind his peers. If they'd enrolled him in a public school, the administration wouldn't have bothered to test him for Pre-K 4, but a private school tested him and concluded that he could handle it. Tucker thought they should put him in Pre-K 3 until he turned three, but Miranda had protested. Once she and Tucker separated, and Tuck had started acting out, Tuck's teachers started talking about keeping him back. He wasn't ready to move on to Kindergarten, they said. Once again, Miranda was against it and for a long time, she felt guilty. Maybe they should have put him back. She didn't know, but what she did know was that she wanted to do what was best for Tuck. The one person who thought she was great and right no matter what decision she made. "No, I'm not going to be able to go with you," she said as she pulled out his uniform from the drawer.

"Why not?" He asked.

Miranda licked her lips. "We talked about this, remember?" She asked answering his question with a question. The young boy thought for a second before he nodded. "Okay. So when you go to Daddy's house, do I go with you?" He shook his head. "No, I don't." She held out her hand and he took it. She pulled her son into her arms. She kissed his head again and looked down at him. "But when are you going to see mommy again?"

"On Sun—Monday! On Monday!" He exclaimed. "You will pick me up from school."

It was her turn to nod. "Exactly." Tuck smiled and Miranda watched as he bounced out of his room and to the bathroom to brush his teeth. "Don't lock the door," she reminded him.

After she showered and got dressed, Miranda made breakfast. When she and Tuck were finished eating, Miranda drove him to school. She made sure that he was safely inside of the building before heading towards the hospital. She changed into her scrubs and turned to walk out of the locker room. "Good morning, ladies," Miranda said as she breezed by Callie and Arizona on her way the room of her first patient. She pulled her hair into a ponytail and threw on a smile before going into the room. "Who's up?" She asked.

"I am," Meredith Grey said. "Tricia Shelley, 31, Megan Shelley, 27 and Michael Shelley, 23. Genetic testing revealed that they all carry the CDH1 gene for hereditary diffuse gastric cancer."

"Which means what, Dr. Yang?" Miranda asking taking the chart from Grey's hands.

"Which means that they all have a 3-in-4 chance of developing the cancer," Cristina said confidently.

"Dr. Bailey has taken tumors out of pretty much everyone on our mother's side," the oldest sibling, Tricia, said nonchalantly. She sat near her sister's bed in a wheelchair.

"Unfortunately, it's a highly aggressive cancer. The tumors grow quickly, so by the time I get in there—" Miranda's spiel was cut short.

"Our family tree is down to a branch," Tricia said staring at Yang.

Miranda asked about various family members and found out that they were all dead or close to death. "So, uh," Miranda started. "You've decided you're ready to take the next step."

Tricia and Megan nodded. "We've made a pact. We're all in this together." Miranda looked from the one sibling to the next. The youngest looked unbothered. Meg looked confused. The oldest sibling looked worried. "Cut out our stomachs, Dr. Bailey," the oldest sibling said. Her voice wasn't filled with ice, nor did she convey the feeling that they'd come to their decision lightly, she was confident and scared. They all were.

Miranda took a breath. "You're sure?" They nodded again, the youngest one reluctantly. "Alright then. Doctors Yang and Grey will get you the paperwork and go over it with you. Any questions you have can be directed to them." Miranda smiled sympathetically and walked out of the room.

An hour later, Miranda stopped by the Shelley's shared room to hear the siblings in the midst of a heated argument. "You're not in charge of me anymore, Trish!" Michael shouted.

"Meg?" Tricia said looking to her younger sister for support.

"I didn't realize it was such a big deal," Meg said. "I just—I just need a little time to think about it, okay?"

"So you'd rather die like Mom or Grandpa or Uncle Bud?" Tricia asked. "And it's not quick, Mike. It's a slow, painful way to go." Tricia licked her lips and wheeled out of the room, nearly bumping into Miranda. "Oph, Dr. Bailey. Sorry."

"It's…. no problem," Miranda told the girl. "Let me help you." Miranda grabbed the handles of the wheelchair and pushed her out of the room and down a deserted hall. Tricia started to cry. "Hey now. Hey. Look, I know how it feels when people who are supposed to be behind you falter. But, they have a point." Tricia used her hospital gown to wipe her eyes. "A gastrectomy isn't like getting your, uh, appendix out, alright? We're changing the way your entire digestive systems work. This is a serious adjustment. And they just need a little time before they make a decision."

Tricia nodded. "Mike is president of his frat. And Meg loves to snowboard." She sighed loudly, more tears falling. Miranda rubbed her back. "I'm just trying to do what I think is best for them. For us."

"That's great, but for now, let's think about you. Let's get you back to your room because your procedure is in half an hour." Tricia nodded and Miranda helped her back to her room.

Leaving Tricia's room, Miranda headed to the Nurses' Station where she came across the Chief. "Chief!"

"Yes, Dr. Bailey. What can I do for you?"

"I was wondering if you could assist me with a gastrectomy in a bit."

"Sure! I haven't done a surgery in nearly a week!" He said with a chuckle. Richard reminded Miranda so much of her father. He was a tall, dark man with dark brown eyes and always the one with an inspirational word or a kick in the ass.

"Good. I'll be in OR 3 in twenty minutes," Miranda said as she turned to walk away. "Wait, uh, actually, Dr. Warren wants to observe and I said it was okay, but I also said that I'd check with you first."

He put his hands on his hips. "So you want your boyfriend to observe a surgery?" Miranda rolled her eyes and nodded. "Is this a date?"

"Sir!" Miranda said sighing deeply.

Richard chuckled to himself. "It's fine. It's fine. Of course it's fine." He picked up a file that a nurse was holding out to him.

Miranda left him there laughing loudly. As she strolled down the hall, she heard a hissing noise. "Pssst!" She looked around wildly. "Psssst, Bailey!"

"Who is hissing at me!?" She asked aloud.

Ben stepped from behind a door and looked up and down the hall. He gestured her over to him. She looked both ways before going to him. He gently pulled her inside and locked the door. Ben put his arms around her waist and pushed her against the door. She moaned quietly, her legs shaking. Ben lifted her chin and his lips attacked her neck. "Oh God!" Miranda held onto his head and he kissed her. The doorknob jiggled from the outside, making her jump. She pushed Ben away. "I'm at work," she said to herself.

"Me, too," he answered, tucking his undershirt back into his scrub pants. He moved closer to her, smiling slyly.

"So you can't just kiss me like that. I'm going into surgery shortly." Ben lifted her arms and put them around his neck. "W-we're going into surgery shortly."

"So the Chief said it was cool if I joined you guys?" Ben put his arms back around her waist. She tried to resist his smile. But him touching her like that and caressing the small of her back, pulling her in, making her lean in… Miranda kissed him, grabbing his face and pushing her tongue into his mouth. She gasped and pulled away. "I'll take that as a yes." Ben kissed her quickly before she moved away. He reached over and opened the door. "I'll see you later." Then he was gone.

Along with her residents and mentor, Miranda worked diligently on Tricia. The General Surgery Attending looked up quickly into the eyes of her boyfriend. His thin eyes indicated that he was smiling. Miranda was glad that a mask covered half of her blushing face. "After I take out the stomach, what will I do next, Dr. Yang?" Miranda asked the resident.

Not missing a beat, Yang replied: "Sew the esophageal anastomosis."

"Or the other option, Grey?" The Chief asked the other resident hovering over the body.

"You could staple the anastomosis," Grey responded without breaking eye contact with the body cavity.

"Now why would I want to do that?" He asked. Both Yang and Grey started to answer. He shook his head. "Warren."

"Sir?" Ben said leaning in a little.

"I asked why I would staple the anstomosis," the Chief said looking straight at Miranda. Her heart was pounding and she had no idea why.

Ben thought for a second. "It's because—well, I think it's because fistula rates can be higher when you hand sew." He exhaled deeply. Miranda looked over at him and winked. He was absolutely right.

Miranda was so impressed. She had no idea that Ben was interested in surgery. While they scrubbed out with the Chief next to them, Ben leaned towards her. "Great work, Dr. Bailey."

She kept her face straight. "Thank you, Dr. Warren."

"And thank you, sir, for allowing me to observe," Ben said to the Chief.

"No problem," he responded. Her mentor continued to scrub. "I heard from Dr. Anwar that you were thinking about becoming a surgical resident at some point."

It was Ben's turn to blush. He glanced at Miranda quickly before saying: "Well, I—it's… you know, just a thought."

Richard placed his hands on his hips. "You should really think about it. I'd be happy to talk to you a little more if you want." Ben nodded. Richard turned his attention to his Miranda. "Good job, Bailey, as usual. Thanks." He opened the door. "I'll, uh, I'll let you two get back to your date," he said with a laugh.

He was gone before Miranda could protest. "Date?" Ben asked.

"He thinks that we're on a date," she told him. Ben nodded and smirked and started to speak, but Miranda was impatient and rushed into the next subject. "I didn't know you were into General."

"Well, nothing personal, it's not just General, but surgery in general." They looked at each other and cracked up. She loved his laugh; everything seemed to be funnier when they were together. "I was thinking about pursuing it one day."

"You should! You should!" Miranda said touching his hand. His hand locked with hers, sending the butterflies in her stomach flying around. Their moment was interrupted by one of her residents coming into the scrub room.

Yang looked at Miranda and Ben and then down to their interlocked hands. Miranda shook Ben's hand away. "The sister wants the surgery," she said with a slight smile.

Ben looked at the resident. "Are you… smiling?" He asked with a smirk of his own.

Yang shook her head, the smile disappearing. "Um, no."

Miranda went into Attending mode. "Yes, you are. Go and schedule her for the gastrectomy for tomorrow."

Yang nodded and left. "You have another procedure?" Ben asked.

"Oh no. I am going home and getting ready for our date."

"Well then, I will pick you up at six." Ben held the door open for her to walk through. She nodded and moved past him a little. He grabbed her arm gently. "Hey."

Miranda turned to look at him. He smiled and kissed her quickly before leaving the scrub room. She leaned on the door, the thoughts loud in her head.


	3. Little Things

**Little Things**

Miranda stood in front of the full-length mirror in her bedroom. She was wearing a cute, deep purple dress. It was five-thirty and Ben would be there shortly. That's one thing she loved about him, he was always prompt. Although she hadn't picked out an outfit, at least her makeup was done and her jewelry was on. Reflecting in the mirror was a bed full of clothes. Pants or skirt? Dress or sleeveless shirt? She wanted to be comfortable. Miranda pulled the dress over her head and stared at herself as she backed up to her bed. Why was she so indecisive? Why wasn't she able to just relax and pick an outfit? It was just a date with Ben. They had been on almost a dozen. Each one fun and amazing. She enjoyed Ben's company and he'd told her time and time again that he enjoyed being with her as well. Miranda didn't know why she was so nervous about tonight. The last date they'd had, Ben had waited for her shift to be over and they'd gone to a movie in the park. She hadn't been nervous then. She had been relaxed and eager, but now… there was a feeling in the pit in her stomach, that was making her feel a little ill, making her sweat, making her think twice. Maybe she should call him and cancel. Or reschedule. The blaring ringing of her cell phone made her jump. She gasped. Miranda ran to her phone. "Hello."

"Hey, baby," her mother, Elena, said.

"Momma," Miranda said her heart slowing down after the shock. "W-what's going on? Is everything okay?"

"Yes, yes. Everything's good." Miranda started to ask about her father. "Yes, your dad is fine. Everyone's fine. No one's dead."

Miranda smiled and sat down on the edge of the bed. As a doctor, sometimes, her mind always went to death. She hated it, but that's the way it was. "I knew that. So what's up?"

"Can't I just call my daughter because I feel like it?"

"Of course you can."

"I haven't talked to you in a week."

"I know."

"Just wanted to see how you're doing."

"Momma, it's just that I'm getting ready for—"

"A date?!" Her mother squealed.

Miranda sighed and tried to keep from smiling. "Yes," she said quickly.

"With Ben." Miranda didn't respond. "How long have you two been dating?"

"About… two months." Talking to her mother would have usually calmed her nerves, but tonight, it just made her more nervous. She knew what her mother was going to ask next and she didn't even want to think about.

"Have you two had sex yet?" Elena asked. Miranda could imagine the smirk on her mother's face.

Miranda blushed. "Momma!" Even almost being 40, with a child of her own, Elena could still make Miranda feel like she was back in high school talking about some boy she liked. But she wasn't in high school and Ben wasn't just some boy. "Momma, I have to go."

"Well, alright. I'll talk to you later," Elena said.

"Tell Daddy I said 'hi'," Miranda said. Her mother said that she would and the call ended. Miranda got off of the bed and looked into the mirror again. She'd decided on a blue and white striped bra and panty set. She ran a hand down her body, sucking in her stomach. She knew sex was on the horizon. They'd talk about it on their third date. Her friend, Dr. Callie Torres, Orthopedic Surgeon, had told her that the third date was the "sex date" and she'd gone into the date sweaty and terrified, convinced that she would have to have sex with a man that she barely knew. She thought about their conversation: _When do you think is the right time?_ Miranda had asked him. Ben had looked at her. _I don't know. I like to think we'll know it when we see it. Probably somewhere between date 8 and date 12, though._ The two of them had talked a little longer. He didn't want to be her friend. He wanted to be more. And she was shocked when she'd realized that she felt the same way. Being 'just friends' with him would be torture. She had too many strong feelings for him. Ben had moved closer to her and without even thinking, her lips met his in a passionate kiss. Their first kiss. After pulling away, they'd smiled and gone in for another, this one longer and deeper. His tongue in her mouth woke up every hormone in her body. For a second, she'd wished that the third date had been the sex date. She had wanted more. Miranda had pulled away from him, looking into his eyes. She saw that he really liked her, something that she had doubted almost every time he spoke to her. Did he really like her? Was he serious about wanting to pursue something with her? All those questions went out of her head when she kissed him. _Somewhere between date 8 and date 12_ , she thought. "Oh my God. This is date 12." Miranda checked the clock; she had 10 minutes before Ben would be knocking on her door or ringing her doorbell. She finally decided on a pair of tight, black jeans and a sheer, white loose blouse with a white tank top underneath. The bell rang, sending her heart fluttering again. Miranda took one last glance in the mirror and dashed barefoot down the stairs. Looking through the peephole, she could see that it was raining. She quickly took a deep breath before opening the door. "Come on in," she said opening the door giving him room to step inside.

He kissed her cheek before stepping over the threshold. "You look...," he stopped talking and looked at her. She took the silence between them as a chance to take in his outfit. He was wearing a pair of dark blue jeans, black t-shirt and a black leather jacket that was speckled with raindrops. The dark colors complemented his brown skin perfectly. He looked really good. "There's no other word for it, you look amazing, Miranda."

Part of her didn't want to go out; she just wanted to have a relaxing night at home with her boyfriend. "Thanks. And I'll add that you look very handsome."

He nodded and smiled. "Ready to go?"

"Yeah, I am." Ben pointed to her naked feet. "Once I put on my shoes and grab my bag, I will be."

"I'll wait for you," he said moving further into the house.

Miranda started for the stairs. "Make yourself at home. There are drinks in the fridge," she called over her shoulders. Back in her room, she slipped into a pair of four-inch black booties. Even four inches taller, she'd still be looking up at the taller Ben. She picked up the clothes strayed about her room. She took a quick minute to admire her outfit before she grabbed her cell and her purse and headed down the stairs. Ben was sitting on the edge of the sofa watching TV. "I'm finally ready."

"Take your time," he said slowly. He stood up and took her hand, spinning her around. "You're sure you want to go out?"

"As long as it took for me to find an outfit, we are going out," she told him with a laugh.

"Do you have an umbrella? It's still raining."

Miranda grabbed her black jacket from the coat rack and pointed to the lone umbrella leaning against the wall next to the door. Ben picked it up and opened it outside of the door and waited for Miranda to lock up. He walked her to the passenger side door. He opened the door and stepped to the side as she slid into his black Mercedes. Miranda admired his gentlemanliness. By the time she and Tucker got married, he'd stopped doing the little things. The things that people didn't think really mattered, but the ones everyone cared about. Miranda shook those thoughts from her head. Ben wasn't Tucker. They pulled out of her driveway and were on their way. "I can't even get a hint?"

"About what?" He asked as they stopped for a red light. Ben glanced at her quickly. "About where we're going?" She nodded. "I take it patience isn't your thing."

"We've been dating for nearly three months, you tell me."

"Has it been almost three months?" He asked looking in the side view mirror as he turned the car down a street.

"Yes. And this is our 12th date," Miranda said glancing at him, putting the mirror up. She wanted to see his reaction. Was tonight the night he was going to make his move? Was she ready? His face didn't change.

"Is it?" She nodded. Ben was quiet for a while. "I hope you're as excited as I am."

Miranda squinted in his direction. He smiled goofily. "Sure, loads of excitement."

"You can do better than that."

"Yes. I am excited."

"Ehh, that was okay. We'll work on it." He laughed. It was a sound that Miranda had gotten used to hearing, on the phone, at the hospital, when they were alone. He found her funny. He wasn't intimidated by her glares; when she furrowed her brows at him, he thought she was cute. And making her laugh seemed to be his favorite game. "We're here." The car stopped and Ben turned off the engine. Neither spoke, but the rain hitting the car filled the silence. He checked his watch. "We're just a little early. The doors won't open for another twenty minutes."

"Paramount Theatre?" She hadn't been here in a long time. Between Tuck's basketball and soccer games, being a surgeon and trying to stay sane in a crazy world, there never seemed to be enough time. She looked out of the wet window and into the bright parking lot slowly filling up with cars.

"You once told me that you liked going to theatre."

"I've only been a few times."

"I remember." Miranda felt a smile try to creep out. She sucked it back in. "Some rare tickets happened to come my way and I immediately thought of you."

"You did?"

"Of course I did. We're dating. You're my girlfriend," he said matter-of-factly. Miranda smiled, batting her eyelashes. "Now, I don't know if magic is your thing—"

"Magic? Like wizards and witches? Hogwarts?"

Ben laughed loudly, his movement shook the car. "No, uh, illusion. Mystery." He waved his hands in the air dramatically.

Miranda's heart almost stopped. She turned to face Ben, looking straight into his brown eyes, hers as wide as they'd ever been. "If you tell me that you have tickets to The Illusionists, I will kiss your face!"

"I got tickets to The Illusionists."

"AHHHHH!" She screamed. Miranda reached out and grabbed his face, pulling him towards her. His hand touched the back of her head. She moved forward, absentmindedly pushing him into the steering wheel. The sound of the horn made them jump and disconnect. Both were breathing heavily from the short, passionate kiss. Miranda pulled down the mirror again and wiped the corners of her mouth. Miranda let out a small sound as she smiled at her reflection and at her boyfriend.

He was flashing her _that_ smile. The one that revealed his perfectly straight, perfectly white teeth. The one that made her want to kiss him again, long and hard. "Can I say that that was one of the best 'thank yous' I've ever gotten," Ben asked.

She felt her cheeks get hot. "You can, but that was only because I read that The Illusionists are only in town for one night." Ben nodded, leaning on his door. "And the tickets are kind of pricey, especially if you want good seats." Ben reached to the dashboard and grabbed an envelope. He opened it and made faces as he searched for their seats. He sucked in air and shook his head. "What? What?" She asked impatiently. She hoped that they weren't sitting up at the top; she hated watching shows on a jumbo monitor. If she wanted to watch a show from a million miles away, she would have just watched it on TV at home. She tapped her foot on the floor of the car and waited for him to speak. When he didn't, she asked: "Where are we sitting?!" He shrugged and handed over the envelope. "'Orchestra'. Orchestra? Orchestra! That's right in front of the stage!" She squealed. Miranda reached over and hugged Ben, his arms squeezed her tightly. He rubbed his hand on her back. When he touched her bra through her shirt, Miranda's body stiffened. Ever since she'd remembered what Ben had said on their third date, her mind was stuck on _sex._ When he looked at her or touched her, she was wondering what it would be like to have her shirtless back touched by his hand or to kiss his, what she imagined to be, chiseled chest. Her mind would wander and she had to reign in those thoughts. She didn't want to get ahead of herself.

Ben backed away. "You're good?" He chuckled a little.

"Yeah, just pleased… that we have good seats," she said. They were quiet again. Miranda held the tickets in her sweaty hands and watched as the parking lot started filling with people. "We should go and get in line."

Ben held the umbrella as they strolled side by side to the entrance. They walked through a metal detector and Miranda waited as Ben was scanned. They followed the crowd as it spilled into the theatre. Miranda had been here a few times and, for some reason, the excitement made knots in her stomach. The kind she felt when she watched from the gallery at the hospital. She looked up at the high, fancily decorated, gold-painted ceilings. And across the long, wide rows of gold chairs. It was all gaudy, but beautiful at the same time. They walked down to the front of the huge room to find their seats. As Miranda took off her jacket, she turned around to the see the balcony, flooded with people, which seemed just as big as the floor area. "I think I've only been in here once," he said as they sat down. Ben rested his arm around the back of her chair.

"Really?"

He nodded. "And I was sitting all the way up there." He turned around and pointed to the balcony seats. "Didn't cost much."

"I know these cost a pretty penny," she said pulling her ticket from her pocket. _$305_. She almost choked on her spit. "Three hundred and five dollars?"

Ben leaned over and looked at the ticket stub. "I guess."

"Did you pay for these?"

He waited a second before answering. "Does it matter?"

Miranda shook her head. "I guess not."

The subject quickly changed to something that wasn't directly related to their date. She and Ben were in the middle of talking about the pros and cons of public education when an announcement came over the loudspeaker telling everyone to turn off their phones and that recording and flash photography was not allowed. " _The show will begin in 10 minutes._ " Miranda pulled out her phone and rolled her eyes to the gold ceiling. She didn't really want to turn off her phone. She was a surgeon after all. And a mother. What if she was needed? Ben watched her contemplate. "You can turn it back on during intermission, Miranda," Ben whispered in her ear. His breath in her ear made her shudder. He touched her hand and took the phone from her hand, turning it off. The lights dimmed and Ben put his arm back on her chair. She could smell his cologne and his deodorant. It was wafting into her nostrils and attracting her to him even more. The chatter in the room quieted down and Ben told her that he was happy to be here with her.

Miranda turned to respond, but the stage filled with blinding lights stealing her focus. Seven men entered the stage in various ways, brightening her eyes and intriguing her. She took a glance out of the side of her eye and caught Ben looking from the stage to her. Catching the eye of the other, they both smiled and Miranda's heart skipped a beat. Looking back at The Illusionists, Miranda realized that she was happy to be with him, too.


	4. Realize

**Realize**

"The Inventor was kind of corny—," Ben started.

"Aww, I liked him," Miranda said with a smile. The show was over. They were walking out of the Paramount Theatre after nearly three and a half hours of illusion and wonderment. Miranda grabbed Ben's hand as he opened the umbrella and they stepped out into the rain. She leaned into him, feeling the warmth of his body. She'd had a really good time. They melded into the crowd as they made their way back to the car. They reached Ben's Mercedes and Ben opened the door. Miranda stepped inside. "Thank you." She immediately turned on her phone. Thankfully, she had no missed calls or important messages. "Yeah, the Inventor was good, but the comedy was the best part."

"Yes! I totally agree. That was my favorite part."

"I know! You laughed the entire time," Miranda said smiling at him with her eyes.

"I wasn't the only one," Ben responded. He leaned over and kissed her cheek. Miranda's smiled widened. "Plus, I have so many new jokes now."

Miranda covered her mouth. "Oh no! Please don't." She laughed behind her hand.

"But I like making you laugh," Ben said sincerely. Miranda didn't respond. She just twisted her mouth into a smile. Ben started to pull out of the park and stopped: "Where to, m'lady?" He looked at her, his left eyebrow slightly raised. Miranda wanted to melt. He was so sexy and all she wanted was to kiss him and feel his fingertips on her body. She wondered if he wanted the same things. "Miranda?"

"Huh?"

"Where to?" He asked again. "Do you want to get something to eat?"

"I definitely want to eat, but I don't want to go out to eat."

"We could order," Ben offered as he pulled out of the parking spot.

"Sounds like a plan!" She said way more eagerly than she meant to. She toned it down some and spoke quietly. "Your place?"

Ben shrugged. "Or yours." His voice was just as quiet.

"That rain is just not letting up," Miranda said as they walked into her house. Ben helped her pull off her jacket. His fingers briefly touched the back of her neck sending chills up her spine. She kicked off her boots and watched him take off his leather jacket and put it on the coat rack.

"No, it's not." Ben milled around near the door. Miranda rolled her eyes and pulled him towards the nearest sofa. She sat down and patted the space next to her. "What, uh... what do you want to order?"

They tossed around a few ideas and decided on pizza. Miranda called her favorite spot and placed their order. She got off of the phone and offered Ben some wine. "Or—or beer. There may be a beer in my refrigerator somewhere."

"Wine is fine," he assured her. Miranda stood up and Ben stood up as well, placing a hand on her back.

"Good. I will just go and get us some." Miranda headed towards her kitchen. She moved around the kitchen with nothing on her mind except the fact that it was their 12th date. She didn't know if she wanted to make a move or wait for Ben to make his or if she should just bring up their previous conversation about sex and get his thoughts on it. And why was it so damn hot in this kitchen? Miranda stuck her head inside of the cool refrigerator and took deep breaths. The cold air on her face calmed her down. The thoughts in her head mixed with the soft humming of the refrigerator; she didn't hear Ben come into the kitchen. All she felt were hands on her waist. She jumped and yelled, spinning around and coming face to face with Ben. The refrigerator door closed behind her. "You scared the absolute shit out of me!" She told him hitting his chest.

He chuckled. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." Miranda tried moving from his arms, but he didn't let go. They were quiet. The fridge continued to hum. "It, uh…it finally dawned on me what you said about this being our 12th date." She blinked slowly and looked at him. "I didn't say that to put pressure on you."

"There's no pressure," she told him quickly. Miranda settled her arms around his neck.

"Have you been thinking about it?"

She shook her head. "No."

"Miranda."

"Yes. It has been on my mind all night." She exhaled, finally getting the truth out. They laughed together.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"I didn't want to seem too fast or too eager."

"I wouldn't think you're fast." She nodded. "We could have talked about it."

Miranda dropped her arms and opened the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of wine. She gestured towards the cabinet for him to get the glasses. They took their wine back to the living room. "So what would we say about it?"

Ben turned towards her. "Sex?" Miranda nodded and took a sip of her wine. She ran a hand through her loose hair and pulled her legs underneath her; their legs touched. She watched him drink the wine. "Well," he said leaning towards her. "It's no secret that I want you."

She swallowed hard. Her phone rang and she thanked God that it did. She put her glass on the table and went to get her phone from her purse. "Food's here." Miranda opened the door and greeted the pizza delivery woman. From behind her, Ben held out three ten dollar bills.

"Keep the change," he said.

"Thanks," the woman responded and Ben closed the door as Miranda took the pizza and their bag of garlic knots to the kitchen. Ben went back to get their glasses and waited for her to sit down before he did. They said a quick grace and started on the food. They didn't speak for a long time, each wrapped in their own thoughts. Miranda worried that she'd made the night awkward mentioning that it was their 12th date and, in theory, bringing up sex. But she was also turned by Ben's admission that he wanted her.

"How's the pizza?" She asked pushing sex from her mind. "Tuck and I love ordering from _Fratello's_. They have the best Italian food in town."

"It's good. Really good."

"Great." The silence was eating at her. They weren't usually quiet around one another. They could talk for long periods of time and not run out of things to say. She played with the crusts on her plate. "And the wine? Do you… need some ice?"

Ben shook his head and grinned. "I'm not Greek."

Miranda pushed her plate to the middle to the table. "Do you need more?"

"Trying to get me drunk, so you can take advantage of me, Miranda Bailey," he said looking at her. She blushed and opened her mouth to answer. "I'm kidding." He held out his hand. She looked at it and rolled her eyes. "C'mere." Miranda took his hand and walked towards him. Ben pulled her into his lap and closed his arms around her. Miranda turned her body and touched his face. She kissed him deeply, their tongues dancing. Her body was heating up. And she could feel Ben get aroused beneath her. Ben touched her back and her nipples perked up. She pulled away for a second, catching her breath. "You can take advantage of me anytime." Ben laughed, making Miranda break out into a fit of laughter.

She stood up and took his hand leading him back into the living room. She leaned over to kiss him again, still smiling. "I like you," she said suddenly. He nodded. "No, I _really, really_ like you, Ben Warren."

"Trust me; I like you a lot, too. Like a whole lot."

Miranda smiled. "Good." They kissed again. Ben's hand found her ribcage and he moved his hand up and down the side of her body. Her hand dropped into his lap as she accepted another kiss from him. Feeling his body respond to her hand, she moved it away quickly and stared at him. He made an apologetic face and she shook her head. Miranda grabbed her head and groaned.

"What? What?" Ben asked with a smirk. He waited patiently for her to speak again.

"I don't do this! I don't do this! I just—I… I haven't had sex in—what? Two years? Two years." Ben shrugged. "So I kind of feel like a resident when it comes to all of this," she told him pointing between the two of them. She saw him trying to cover a smile. "It's not funny." Miranda shoved him. He grabbed her hand and, in a quick moment, pulled her on top of him. Miranda inhaled sharply. She'd never been on top of him fully. There were only a few pieces of fabric between them. A few pieces of fabric that stopped them from having complete skin to skin contact. Ben's strong arms held her tightly, lifting her shirt a little. His hands on her bare skin soothed her. Goosebumps appeared on her body as he touched her face and gently kissed her. Miranda sat back on the sofa.

Ben sat up as well. He grinned at her. "You may feel like a resident, but, trust me, baby, your body is screaming Attending," he told her continuing her metaphor. Miranda stood up and put out her hand for Ben to take. With a raised eyebrow, Ben took it. Heart pounding, she led him up the stairs to the second floor of her house, where her bedroom was located. "I think this is the first time I've been up here."

"Well, let me give you a quick tour," she said stopping at the first door on the right. "This is Tuck's room." They walked inside and Miranda switched the light on.

"There's so much green!" Ben exclaimed stepping inside of her son's room.

"Yeah, it's kind of his favorite color," Miranda gushed.

"I can see that," Ben said.

"Yeah," Miranda said absentmindedly. She thought back to the first time Tuck and Ben had met. For Miranda, it had been a delicate situation. Ben was the first guy she'd dated since Tucker. And one thing she didn't want to do was parade some random guy in front of her son, one who wasn't going to stick around. Her ongoing divorce with Tucker was also a problem for her son and she didn't want to add on to it by introducing Ben into the equation. So she'd waited. For two months. Her mother thought she should wait for six months, but she knew that Ben wasn't just a guy or someone temporary. And she wasn't naïve. She knew there was a possibility that they wouldn't be together forever, but she didn't like keeping her son in the dark. It had made her feel like her relationship with Ben was wrong. And it wasn't. It was… perfect. He made her happy and while she knew that Tuck would like Ben (and vice versa), she was also anxious about them meeting. She didn't want to rush it. So, one Friday, Miranda had sat Tuck down and told him that she was 'seeing' someone else. Tuck had looked around. "Seeing him where?" He'd asked.

She'd inhaled softly and smiled. "Uh, no. I have a special friend who I want you to meet him."

She didn't know what she'd been expecting, but Tuck just shrugged and said: "Okay."

"That's it?" She'd asked a little confused. Her son was very inquisitive. "You don't have any questions?"

Tuck had thought for a second. "What's his name?"

"Ben. Warren."

"Is he a doctor like you, Mommy?" She'd nodded.

"Is he nice?" Tuck had asked kicking off his shoes.

"Yes, he's very nice. And smart. And funny," she'd told him. She couldn't help but smile.

"Okay," he'd said again and he'd turned his attention back to his video game.

They'd woken up late the next morning and had to hurry to Tuck's basketball game, where she'd told Ben to meet her. By the time she and Tuck had gotten there, Ben was already in the stands holding a drink carrier from Dunkin Donuts with three cups. She'd sat next to him and he'd given her a kiss on the cheek before handing her a cup. "Coffee for you. Light and sweet, just like you," he announced handing her the steaming cup of coffee. It had been just what she needed. Something to wake her up so she could focus on the game.

"Thanks," she'd said. "Who's the third cup for?"

"I bought for Tuck."

"You bought my three-year old a cup of coffee!?"

Ben had looked confused. "No, of course not. Uh, it's a cup of hot chocolate. Kids like hot chocolate." Miranda had sighed deeply and apologized. "You seem nervous."

"You think?"

"You don't think he'll like me?"

"I think he will," she'd said simply.

"Good." Ben had put an arm around Miranda's waist and from their seats, they'd cheered Tuck on. After the game, Ben had touched Miranda lightly before leaving. He was going to meet them at a restaurant that wasn't Tuck's favorite, but one that he liked going to. In the car, Miranda racked her brain for a way to casually bring up Ben.

"Who was sitting to you?" Tuck had asked from the backseat. _Bingo!_

"That was Ben. Remember I was telling you about Ben? My special friend?"

"Is he your boyfriend?"

Miranda didn't quite know how to play it. She didn't think in a million years that she'd have to introduce her son a boyfriend. She and Tucker were supposed to last— _'til death do us part_. And they were very much alive when Miranda had found emails from Tucker to a coworker about matters unrelated for accounting. But the moment had arrived. "Yes. How do you know what a boyfriend is?" She'd asked her son.

"Mrs. Rodriguez and her boyfriend read us a story last week." Miranda had nodded. "He drives a motorcycle."

"Is that right?"

"Mmm. Does Ben drive a motorcycle?"

"I don't think so, but you can ask him." They'd pulled up to "Sun Tavern". Tuck had screamed with excitement as Miranda got out of the car and held the car door open for him as he crawled out of the backseat. Over her son's head, she could see Ben pulling into one of the last spaces of a full parking lot. It was almost lunchtime and "Sun Tavern" was a popular place in town. Miranda had put up her hand, signaling to Ben to wait five minutes before coming in. Tuck had bounced into the restaurant with Miranda right on his heels. They sat down. "So, Ben is going to join us for lunch. And you're going to get a chance to meet him and he's really cool. Is that okay?" Miranda held her breath. Tuck was very loyal to his father. And she'd feared that Tuck wouldn't accept Ben because Ben was a new man in her life.

"Yes," Tuck had said simply as the waiter came by with two glasses of water. "We need…," he'd stopped to count. "One more water." He grinned as he held up one finger.

His mother had beamed and the waiter smiled and went to get another glass. Miranda saw Ben come into the restaurant and she'd waved him over. Coming to the table, Ben leaned in for a kiss before Miranda could stop him. She'd blushed and watched Tuck's reaction. Nothing. He still had a smile on his face. "Tuck, I want you to meet Ben. Ben, this is Tuck, my favorite son." Tuck had giggled loudly. He loved when she called him her _favorite son_.

Ben had reached over and shook Tuck's hand. "Hello, Tuck."

"Hello, Ben. Warren."

Ben looked from Miranda to Tuck. "Hey! You played a great game, sir."

"Thank you," Tuck had said with a wide smile. "I had four points!"

"I know. You are really talented. How old are you?" Miranda had given Ben a quizzical look. He knew how old her son was.

"Three. I am going to be four," Tuck had answered holding up four fingers.

"Wow!" Ben had exclaimed. He felt for Miranda's hand under the table and held on to it.

After a while, Miranda had finally let go of the breath she'd been holding. She was honestly pleased. She sat back and let their conversation continue. Only getting involved in their talk when they needed to ask her questions or wanted to verify something. "Could Tuck go to Ben's house to play with his PlayStation?" "Could Ben come to more games?" "Could Ben come over when they had a Christmas in the fall movie marathon?" "Could Tuck have more ice cream?" Yes, to everything. As they walked out of the restaurant and to the cars, Tuck turned to Ben. "Do you have a motorcycle?"

"I did. Back in Chicago."

"Where is it now?"

"Uhh, it's still in Chicago. My brother uses it."

"Can I ride it?" Tuck had looked from his mother to Ben, pressing his hands together with pleading eyes.

Ben had sucked in air and held up his hand to stop the interjecting Miranda. "Maybe when you get a little older."

"Cool!" Tuck said. He'd given Ben a high-five and then he'd climbed into the car.

"You are amazing!" Miranda had gushed to Ben.

He'd smiled widely at her. "I'm glad we did this," he told her.

"Me, too."

"You turned so red when I kissed your cheek. Like laser red." Ben had laughed loudly using a hand to touch Miranda's waist. "Are we on for tomorrow night?" She'd nodded. Ben looked over her shoulder into the car and had kissed Miranda quickly and softly on the lips and on the cheek. "This is good, right? He likes me. I like him. We're good." Miranda had nodded again.

"Miranda?" Ben's voice said bringing her back to the present and snapping her out of her trance.

"Yeah?"

"Where'd you go?"

"To the first time you and Tuck met."

"That was fun. He's a cool, little dude. And boy can he talk," Ben laughed. "And now..." He stepped behind her and ushered her out of the room and back into the hallway. "I'm wondering what color your room is." She bit her bottom lip as he kissed her neck.

"I can show you." They walked into her room. She didn't bother turning on the light and neither did Ben.

"Beautiful."

"It's dark. You can't see anything," she laughed.

"I'm not talking about the décor." Ben and Miranda sat on the edge of her queen-sized bed. His hand touched her waist. "I'm going to kiss you." Miranda nodded as he put his lips to hers. She moved backwards on the bed and he followed suit. _This is happening,_ she thought. She touched the hem of his black shirt and lifted it up a little. Her hand ran along the muscles of his stomach. He sat up and pulled off his shirt. Miranda sat up, too. She was in awe. It was dark, but the moon provided light through the window. His body was damn near flawless. She wanted to touch every inch of him. He smiled at her. She reached and pulled him in for another kiss. Ben's hands slipped under her shirt and grazed her breasts through her bra. "I want to take this off," he said as he lifting her shirt up and taking it off. He laughed when he saw her tank top. She smiled. "And this one." He took her second shirt off revealing her bra. She thought she would be embarrassed. She thought she would she would be mortified when Ben finally caught of glimpse of her without a shirt on. She thought he would cringe when he saw her, but with the moonlight shining on them, she saw nothing but amazement in his eyes. "That's a sexy bra." He licked his lips and lay down next to her. He kissed her again. "You're gorgeous."

"You're just saying that."

"Don't do that, Miranda."

"Don't do what?"

He gave her a look. "You know what." She didn't answer. "You know you're gorgeous, alright? And I will always think that." He hooked a finger onto one of her belt loops and pulled her closer. He was hard again and Miranda breathed deeply. He climbed on top of her and kissed her chest, slowly working his way down her body. He kissed the tops of her breasts, her nipples through her blue and white striped bra, down the middle of her stomach. In the distance, Miranda could hear the Apollo 440 belting out "Time is Running Out". Her customized ringtone for when the hospital called. Her phone was going off. Ben heard it, too, and dropped his head into her chest and laughed.

"I need to get that," she said with a grin. "That's the hospital." Ben rolled off of her and onto his back. "I'll be back."

"I'll be waiting."

Miranda hopped off of the bed and grabbed her tank top, tugging it on as she raced down the stairs. _This call had better be important._ She picked up her phone. "Hello?"

"Dr. Bailey?"

"You called my phone didn't you? I'm off this weekend, Yang. And I'm really quite busy, what do you need?"

"It's Meg. Shelley."

"She tested positive for the cancer gene."

"Shoot!" Miranda said taking the phone from her ear to her forehead. "She'll need surgery right away." She thought for a second. "Is The Chief there?"

"No. He left about two hours ago."

"Alright. Um, get her prepped. I'll be there in thirty minutes." Miranda dismissed the call and took a deep breath before trudging up the stairs. She flicked on the light in her room.

"You have to go."

"One of the Shelley kids needs surgery."

"I'm happy that you'll be able to help her, but this is also ruining our night." Ben picked up his shirt and put it on.

She walked towards him and kissed his cheek. "I know, I know." Miranda went to her dresser which was large and covered half of her wall. It also covered a huge, indelible mark that was made when she'd first moved into the house. She pulled out a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. "Can you just turn around while I get changed?"

"Sure." Miranda changed her socks quickly. "I like the blue and gray color scheme."

"Thanks. It's soothing." She put the t-shirt on top of the tank top and took off her black jeans. She gasped when she felt him behind her. She blushed. "I don't have on any pants."

"Just the way I like it," he said kissing her back. Miranda turned around to face him and he pushed her against her dresser, lifting her up a little so that she was sitting on top of it. He opened her legs and stood between them. He took her face in his hands and kissed her passionately. Her hands dropped to the pants pulling him closer. His crotch touched hers briefly, sending a shock through her entire body. She pushed him away and got off of the dresser. She turned around and put on her jeans. "I'm… sorry?" He said.

She could see him scratch his head in the mirror. "No, it's not you."

"Then what is it?"

Miranda locked eyes with Ben in the mirror. "I'm afraid for how much I want you."

"Oh, is that all?"

She scoffed. "Yeah."

He hugged her from behind. "You know I want you, too." She nodded. "Good. Now let's go."

"'Let's'?"

"Yes, ma'am. I'll be your anesthesiologist—if that's alright."

"That would be great. Thanks. I could use the company."

They walked down the stairs. "I'll drive."

"Fine. I don't feel like arguing," she told him feigning annoyance.

She locked up the house and they got into Ben's car. He started the car and they left.


	5. It Won't Be Long

**It Won't Be Long**

Meg Shelley was already prepped and ready to go by the time Miranda. "Scalpel," Miranda said firmly. The scrub nurse handed her the scalpel and Miranda proceeded to make a deep cut into the stomach of the young girl. As she wrapped up, Ben asked if they were going to continue their night. Miranda blushed and looked around. She really liked to keep her professional life separate from her private life. Everyone might need to know everything about other people in the hospital, but they didn't need to know about her. Ben shook his head at her. "I'm trying to work here, Dr. Warren."

Ben fixed his gloves. "Wouldn't you believe it? I'm working, too, Dr. Bailey." Someone giggled. Miranda cut her eyes in their direction. Then she looked at Ben. He held up both of his hands. "Sorry."

Miranda continued to work. She was honestly relieved when she finished the procedure with no major problems. After she scrubbed out, she checked her phone. Ben had a text message: **Where are you?**

She texted him back: _On my way to the locker room._

He responded quickly. **Im talking to some people. Ill be there shortly.**

Miranda didn't bother to respond, she just headed towards the locker room. There were more than a few people there, but aside from a head nod and a quick 'hey,' no one to socialize with. She checked the time; it was almost midnight and she was tired. She sat near her locker and closed her eyes for a second before she started to get dressed. A hand on her shoulder jolted her awake. "Sorry!" Ben said. Miranda stood up to face him. "I'm starting to think that you're scared of me."

"Well, maybe if you stopped creeping up on me like it's Friday the 13th and you're Jason, I'd stop jumping," she said a little crossly. Any other sane person would have stopped talking and cut the conversation short or just left her presence. Miranda looked up to see him smiling at her. He was out of his scrubs and back into his outfit from their date. He still looked good.

"I love your biting wit, especially when you're tired." Ben kissed her cheek. "Ready to go?"

"I just need to get out of our scrubs."

"Need some help?" Ben wiggled his eyebrows and grinned.

She pushed him away. "Just go. Give me five minutes." Ben kissed her cheek and walked away. Miranda put her jeans and shirt back on. She sat down and leaned back against her locker.

Ben woke her up again: "Still trying to go to sleep on me?"

With one eye open, she looked up at him and whined. "I am so tired."

He nodded in solidarity. "Let's get you home."

"That sounds great." Miranda bit the inside of her lip so that she would stay awake for the trip back to her house. She stopped when they pulled into her driveway. Ben put his head back on the headrest and scratched his beard. She smiled. "You look as tired as I feel."

He yawned. "I am. I am." They didn't speak as soft music poured from the radio. "Should I come in for a night cap?"

Miranda turned in his direction. "Excuse me! What kind of night cap are you talking about? Because if you think—" Her rant was cut short by Ben touching her neck and pulling her in for a kiss. Miranda moved closer to him and put a hand on his chest.

When she pulled away from him, she smiled. Miranda licked her lips. "Damn, is that all I have to do to shorten your lectures?" Ben moved his hand down to her shoulder. "I didn't mean a nightcap like _that_. I meant a nightcap like a glass of wine and some pizza, maybe some kissing."

Her face flushed. "I—I just…," Miranda blew air out of her mouth. "I'm sorry."

"Still a little jumpy about this being our 12th date?" She nodded slowly. "Okay, well… It's already 12, maybe I should go home?" He asked it as a question, giving Miranda the opportunity to invite him in or dismiss him.

Part of her wanted him to leave so she could get her thoughts together. The other half—"Stay. You and I are t-together. I want you to come in for wine and pizza and other… things." He smiled and got out of the car, running around it to open her door. He held out his hand for her to take. After a couple of slices each, Miranda put her head into Ben's chest. The TV was on, but it was muted. The pictures flashing on the screen meant nothing to her. She was focused on being with Ben. Even though he made her heart skip, even though he made the butterflies in her stomach feel more like elephants and even though her hands started sweating whenever he touched her, she felt so comfortable with him. "If I start snoring, just tap my shoulder," Miranda told him laughing. She looked up at him.

"I don't mind you snoring," Ben answered smiling.

She felt his lips brush the top of her head. Miranda tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and fell asleep watching Martin Lawrence cause mayhem on the screen.

"Miranda. Miranda." Ben was gently shaking her.

"Yes," she answered without opening her eyes.

"We fell asleep."

Yawning, she opened her eyes and realized that her head was in his lap. She sat up quickly. "Sorry about that."

"That's… fine."

"What time is it?"

"Almost two o'clock." Miranda didn't respond. She avoided looking Ben. She knew she must look a hot mess. She smoothed down her hair. "And I should get going."

"Okay. Good. Not, you know… 'good'," she said using quotation marks. "But it is late."

Ben stood up first and pulled Miranda to her feet. They walked to the door. She opened it, allowing the cool air to enter her home. She noticed that the rain had stopped. He wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her tightly. Instantaneously, she settled her arms around his neck. "Can I just say that I can't wait for the day when I don't have to go home at two o'clock in the morning?" She cocked her head to the side. "When I can just walk with you upstairs and lay down with you next to me." Here it was: her heart skipping like the broken records her father played when she was younger, the small pang in her stomach, her moist hands. She couldn't even open her mouth to respond. What he was saying—she felt the same way. She wanted to fall asleep in his arms at night and wake up to his face in the morning. He continued. "I'm just saying, and this is on the record, if you didn't have to go in, we would have made love last night." Ben kissed her quickly on the cheeks and lips and left.


	6. See Right Through You

**See Right Through You**

Miranda woke up the next morning feeling refreshed. She rolled over, grabbed her phone from the nightstand and checked her messages. One of them was from Tucker reminding her about their son's basketball game that afternoon. She nodded and responded: _Of course I'll be there._ There were also two emails from Richard. She checked the subject lines, nothing looked too pressing; she'd look at them later. There was also a missed call from her mother. That was fifteen minutes ago. Miranda clicked her phone off and started to toss it to the empty side of her bed when it vibrated in her hand. **Good morning beautiful.** Miranda started to tap out a response when it vibrated again. **What are you doing today?** _Good morning, handsome. Tuck has a basketball game later on._ While she waited for him to answer, she said a quick prayer thanking God for blessing her with an awesome child, a great job and a good man. Her phone buzzed again. **Want some company?** Before she could stop her fingers, she was already texting him back: _Yes._

Miranda got out of bed and stretched. Finishing up, her phone rang. Ben's face flashed across the screen of her smart phone. She cleared her throat and accepted it. "Hello?"

"Yes, hello. Is this Miranda Bailey? Dr. Miranda Bailey." Ben asked in a regal voice.

Miranda smiled widely. "This is she," she answered.

"Good morning, Dr. Bailey. This is Dr. Warren."

"That name doesn't sound familiar."

"The guy you almost had—"

She was glad that he couldn't see her face. "I remember! I remember!"

Ben laughed. "I'm just kidding." Miranda giggled. "So, what time is the game?"

She took the phone from her ear and looked at the time. "In a few hours. At 11:30."

"Cool. I will be there," Ben said.

"Good."

"Hey! How about I come and pick you up in an hour and we stop and get some breakfast before the game?"

"I'd really like that," she said honestly.

"Alright. Be ready in an hour."

"Okay, Ben Warren."

"One hour, Miranda."

"What? If I'm not ready, are you gonna leave me?"

"Maybe," he said laughing. "Sixty minutes."

"I got it! I got it!" She said rushing him off of the phone. The call ended and Miranda hopped into the shower. She usually took a shower after coming from the hospital, but she'd been too tired to take one last night. But now she needed to get rid of the germs that she'd probably picked up and she liked the feeling of the hot water running down her back. It loosened her muscles and soothed her. She grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her body. As she opened the door, steam escaped from her bathroom into her bedroom. She sat down on the edge of her bed and applied some lotion. Glancing at the clock on her nightstand, Miranda saw that she had more than enough time to kill. As she smoothed the lotion up her arms, she imagined that her hand was Ben's, his fingertips on her body. It sent chills up her spine. She would love for him to touch her like that. He would have last night, but they'd been interrupted. She had to admit, she was relieved. The nervousness that she'd felt when they got close, put knots in her stomach; and she couldn't relax. But, thinking about it now, she couldn't wait until he did. And when that time came, it would be… well, it would be epic. Rifling through her dresser, Miranda pulled out a pair of dark blue jeans and a t-shirt that she'd gotten from Tuck's basketball coach, Frankie Randall. Back when Tuck had first started playing for the team, he'd called himself trying to flirt with her. She promptly and politely turned him down. Although she was no longer happily married, she wasn't ready to begin dating anyone. She didn't want to. It was finally a time to concentrate on her son and her career. She'd definitely needed to take advantage of it. After she slipped into a pair of low-top, white Converses, Miranda stood in front of the mirror. She looked cute. Smiling at herself, she heard her phone going off at the same time her doorbell was ringing. Ben. She grabbed her jacket, phone and purse and walked down the stairs. Meeting him at the door, she didn't even bother to welcome him in.

"Good morning."

"It is."

Sensing that he wasn't getting an invite inside of the house, he kissed her on the cheek before asking: "Shall we?" She nodded and they were off.

At breakfast, they talked freely. She never had a problem expressing herself with anyone, but sometimes, with Ben, she found that the words struggled to come out. She would stutter and go off on tangents, losing her point and probably losing him in the process. But he never complained; he just smiled and continued the conversation. He didn't care that she gestured wildly and got excited when talking about her patients; he understood. And she loved to hear him talk. There was something about his voice that made her want to listen to every word and learn everything about him. After they finished eating, Ben paid for breakfast and took her hand as they made their way through the crowded diner. "We still have a little bit of time left before we have to get to the game," Miranda said while they sat in the car.

Ben nodded. "You could kiss me?" He offered.

"Or we can talk."

"That, too." Ben puffed his cheeks out, comically. Miranda reached out and popped them. "Oh! I know what we can do," he said starting the car. He pulled out of the parking lot. Usually Miranda would ask questions. Lots of them. She was one of those people who had to know everything; where she was going, what she was going to do when she got there, who was going to be there, etc. Her parents found it adorable and relieving. They loved how she would give them all of the details before they even asked, saving them from being overbearing parents. However, her incessant questioning drove Tucker crazy. He was a secretive person and hated telling her everything. Once their marriage reached the point of no return, she stopped asking. But she also knew that once she quit questioning him about his days at work and his whereabouts whenever he left the house, they didn't talk anymore. Miranda didn't ask and Tucker didn't offer any answers. And then, she stopped caring. She remembered telling Elizabeth that, too. The lawyer told her that detachment was a reason for the failure of many marriages. Miranda shuddered. _Failure_. She hated that word. She'd never failed at anything in her life. She wasn't perfect, but she didn't fail. Whenever she started a project, she usually succeeded. But her marriage to Tucker was the first time she'd put her all into something and came up short. It was supposed to be forever. Maybe she should have tried a little harder. She guessed she was a failure. Nope. No, Miranda, she thought. None of that negative self-talk. Why did she have to put in 110% when he was only giving 50%; half-assing everything? Thinking about it made her want to roll her eyes at the whole situation. She focused on the man in front of her. Ben didn't make her feel that way. He liked that she was inquisitive; never minded answering her questions. And because of that, she was learning to pull back—even if it was just a little. Learning to trust the journey that she was on, especially with Ben and make it the best one possible. Because he deserved it and so did she. Deep inside of her thoughts, Miranda didn't feel the car stop, didn't feel Ben looking at her. "What's on your mind?" He asked, pulling her back to reality. She shook her head and looked around. They were in the parking lot of the community center where Tuck played his games. "Wanna go for a walk?" She nodded. It was a nice day outside, the sun was shining on Miranda wherever she stood and it felt great. Ben held out a hand for Miranda to hold as they found a clear path in the park. "So what were you thinking about?" Ben asked slowly. "In the car."

She stopped walking and looked up at him. A young woman dressed in short-shorts and a sports bra moved past them on the trail. Miranda waited for Ben's eyes to follow the woman. That's what she was used to. But he didn't. Ben's eyes were locked on hers. "Just wondering how you would feel about coming over after the game." Miranda spoke confidently.

"To your house?" He asked with a grin on his face.

"Yes, to my house." She smiled. Ben put her hand to his lips, sending a chill down her spine. She put her hand on the back of his neck, pulling him down for a kiss. Feeling his tongue in her mouth nearly sent her over the edge. Miranda pushed her tongue into his mouth and heard him groan deeply. She laughed into his mouth.

He reached down and slapped her butt playfully. "Since you're kissing me like that, I have no choice but to say yes."

Miranda laughed again and checked her watch. "We gotta go!" She exclaimed and pulled him up the hill and towards the entrance for the gym. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Tucker getting out of his truck. For some reason, when she invited Ben to the game, it hadn't crossed her mind that Ben and Tucker would be meeting for only the second time.

Miranda and Tucker had been apart for a while the first time Tucker and Ben met. Tuck had been upstairs gathering toys for a weekend with his father. She and Ben had been watching the news in the living room; his arm lay across her shoulders. Eventually Miranda felt comfortable enough to put her head into his chest. He'd smelled so good that night. Tucker had pressed the doorbell, making Miranda jump out of her skin. She'd accidently hit Ben's stomach making him groan and then laugh. Miranda got up and answered the door. "Hey, Tucker," Miranda said.

"Can I come in?" He'd asked. Miranda moved to the side as Tucker stepped into the house. They were quiet. "How's my boy?"

"He's on his way down. He went to grab a bunch of toys."

"That boy and his toys, I swear," Tucker said shaking her head. Miranda smiled. Tucker had noticed immediately. "I haven't seen that lately."

"What?"

"Your smile." Miranda had scoffed. Sometimes, Tucker was alright.

"Well, besides my son and my career, I didn't have a reason to." Tucker had hung his head. "William George!" She yelled. "Your father's here."

"What's your other reason?" He'd asked as their son came bounding down the stairs. Instead of running straight for his father, he'd made a turn into the living room. "What's in there?"

For some reason, Miranda's heart had sped up. She knew Tucker would find out about Ben. In fact, she knew that Tuck had probably spilled the beans about Ben anyway. "Just ask the question you want to ask, Tucker."

Before Tucker could open his mouth, Ben had walked out of the living room holding Tuck's hand. Miranda had looked over at Tucker. She could tell by the look on his face that he was hurt. "Ben Warren, this is my…," her voice had trailed off. Technically, he was her husband, but they hadn't lived together in a long time. But he wasn't her ex-husband either, although she was no longer in love with him. "This is Tucker Jones. Tucker, Ben." Both men had looked at her. What did they want her to do or say? She'd said enough. Too much if anyone asked her.

"You have to shake Ben's hand, daddy," Tuck said with a smile. Miranda had let go of a breath and smiled as well. Her child had more sense than both of the men in her presence. Tuck came and stood by Miranda as Ben held out his hand and Tucker, reluctantly, accepted it.

"Tuck, go and put your bag in the car, baby," Miranda said to her son. She kissed the top of his head as he moved out of the door.

Ben looked over at her and she'd jerked her head towards the door. She'd hoped that Ben would understand. She wasn't choosing Tucker over Ben, but anything Tucker was going to say, she didn't want him to hear. Before the door could close, Tucker turned to her: "I wondered whose car was in the driveway. Who the hell is this guy, Miranda!?"

"Don't talk to me like that!"

Tucker nodded. "I'm sorry. But who is this clown?"

"He's not a clown. He's my friend—a good friend. Not that it's any of your business."

"It is," Tucker spat back. "Especially since you have him around my child."

"Believe it or not, he's my child, too," she said putting her hands on her hips. "And please don't act like you're the patron saint of doing the right thing."

Tucker's phone buzzed. He ignored it and ran a hand across his face. "So it's really over." She didn't speak, nod or move an inch. She wasn't going to answer him. "And this is who you choose over me?" Miranda licked her lips. "He's who you move on to?"

"You moved on while we were still married, Tucker!" She shouted, losing her cool in the process. "While I was trying to build a home and—and make sure you were okay and that you had everything you needed! And that Tuck was happy!" Tucker opened his mouth. "And working shift after shift at the hospital, you were out, you were cheating. I was there! All alone! By myself!" Miranda tried to swallow, but the lump in her throat was making it difficult. Her voice was raspy. "So don't try to pretend like you're so concerned now."

"Baby, I'm sorry," Tucker had said taking a step towards her. "I'm sorry. For everything. Just… give me one more chance." Tucker picked up her hands. "Please." Miranda shook her hands from his grasp. "Is he the one making you smile?"

"What do you think?"

Tucker had given her an icy stare. "You know what I think?" There used to be a time when his look would make her weak in the knees. She used to crave the feeling she felt when he smiled at her, looked at her or touched her. He'd straightened his six-foot and a half frame, towering over her. If Tucker were a stupid man, she would need a reason to be afraid, but he wasn't; so she wasn't. He may have been an ass, emotionally draining and mentally offensive, but he would never lay a hand on her. Tucker had lowered his eyes. "I think that you'll drive him away—just like you did to me," Tucker answered. The door opened suddenly. Miranda stared at Tucker. She tried to take deep breaths to calm herself down. "Come on, Tuck. Let's go."

Ben had come and stood behind her, not touching her. "You're okay?" He'd asked in her ear. She nodded.

"Bye, Ben. Bye, Mommy!" Tuck had said excitedly, hugging her tightly.

Even with the lump in her throat, she'd managed to get out: "See you later, baby. C-call me if you need me." Miranda kissed his head and took a step away from the door, backing into Ben who slipped an arm around her waist. His touch eased the tension in her body. The door had opened and Tuck walked out with Tucker right behind him. He looked back for a second before leaving.

Ben had turned Miranda around in his arms. "Miranda, what's wrong?" She'd shaken her head again. It was easier to dismiss the question than talking about it at all. "I like to think that I know you." Miranda had looked up him. What was his deal? Why did he always seem to say the right thing at the right moment? "So, let's save some time and tell me what's wrong." They'd moved to the living room. She'd sat down first and Ben sat close to her, their bodies pushed against each other. And with a deep breath, she'd told him everything, tearing up a bit. He hugged her and rubbed her back, soothing it. That was when she knew that she could trust him and tell him anything. Had she pushed Tucker away? Was she going to push Ben away, too? She'd buried her face into her hands, tears hitting her palms. Ben calmed her and told her that he wasn't going anywhere. She'd looked at him. Happiness was right around the corner and she didn't want to screw it up. Before that, she'd been keeping Ben at a distance. It wasn't just to protect her child; she'd also been protecting her heart. She didn't need it torn anymore, but after both conversations, she decided to let go of the past and let Ben in.

"Aye, Mandy!" Tucker asked coming up behind them, his voice booming.

Miranda stopped walking and was suddenly aware of Ben's arm around her waist. "Hello, Tucker," she said trying to sound pleasant. She motioned to Ben. "You remember Ben, right?"

"Right. The Sleep Doctor," Tucker said holding out his hand to Ben.

Ben looked at Miranda before taking it. "Anesthesiologist," Ben responded.

"I'm only kidding, man. Hey, I'm kidding." Tucker flashed a cheesy smile. Ben gave a fake smile of his own. "Miranda, can I talk to you for a second?" Tucker looked at Miranda and then at Ben. "Hey, man—Can you go on in and save us some seats?"

Miranda looked at Ben and saw his eyes narrow. She turned in his direction. "Yeah, you should go in and surprise Tuck. He's going to be so happy you're here," she said. Ben smiled at her at her and glowered at Tucker. He kissed her cheek and walked away. "What do you want, Tucker?" Miranda asked turning back to her soon to be ex-husband.

"This cat is still around?" Miranda rolled her eyes. God, he was so infuriating. Tucker crossed his arms. "Is he your new man?"

"We are dating, yes!" She hissed.

"I thought we agreed—no random people, i.e. no flings around Tuck and that includes his games."

Miranda's breaths quickened. "I thought we vowed to forsake all others," she told him. She could feel her eyes get hot. The last thing she wanted to do was start crying. It was embarrassing, especially about something so trivial. And especially about something she'd already shed more than enough tears about. "Ben is not a fling!" She whisper-shouted. "He's my boyfriend!"

Neither one of them spoke for a long time. She guessed that he was taking it all in. And Miranda took deep breaths. "Do you love him?"

"W-what kind of question is that?"

"A simple one," he scoffed. "I mean, if you don't love him, what are you doing bringing him around my son?"

"Tuck needs to see that I'm happy!" She exclaimed, bringing her hands to her chest. "He needs to see that someone cares about me and appreciates me! And to see that I can be loved!" Miranda's eyes widened, but she didn't dare continue. She'd said too much already.

Tucker clinched his teeth and glared at her. She knew that look. He was furious. But with what? Her being happy? Or someone else loving her? She heard the horn sound for the start of the game and Tucker walked past her and came face to face with Ben. Tucker turned around quickly. "You know what?" Miranda waited. She could take whatever nonsense he was about to spew. "Just…Whatever, Miranda," he said dismissively.

"Miranda? Are you okay?" Ben asked.

"Yes, of course," Miranda sputtered.

"You're sure?" She nodded. "Your face is red and you look upset," he said biting his bottom lip.

She smiled, just for him. "I am fine. I'm-I'm alright." She tried slowing her breaths and fanned her cheeks. She didn't want to look flustered going into the game. "Don't even worry about it."

"If you're worried about it, I'm worried about it," he said softly. Ben put his hand on her hip, calming her down. "I can say something if you want. I don't mind saying something. He shouldn't be talking to you like that. You know what? I'm going to say something." Ben spoke quickly and angrily, making Miranda smile harder.

"Don't say anything. I can handle it." Her answer was firm. She was glad that he backed off. He kissed her forehead. "Let's go ahead in."

Ben changed the subject. "You should have seen Tuck's face when he saw me in the doorway."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Awww."

"Yeah, he like ran over to me and nearly toppled me over. I was like 'woah,' but he was happy."

"He really likes you," Miranda said dreamily. "I really like you, too."

"And I really like you both," Ben said. He held the door open for Miranda who walked through it with a new layer of confidence. She finally got some stuff off her chest to Tucker, saying the things she needed to say. But, she also added more questions to her conscience. Did Ben love her? Did she love him? Thinking about it made her heart pound. She put on a smile, pushing those thoughts to the back of her head, as she watched her son run up and down the court.


	7. (You Walked In) Secret Smile

**(You Walked In) Secret Smile**

"Mommy!" Tuck said running over to her at the end of the game.

"Oh, baby! You did so good!" Miranda said lifting him off of the floor. She kissed his cheek and felt him try to squirm out of her grasp.

"Okay! Okay!" Tuck giggled. When she let him go, Tucker congratulated him.

"Tuck, you played well, son," Tucker said smiling at his son. He rubbed the boy's head.

"I agree, bud," Ben responded. "And you had quite a few points." Ben held up his hand and Tuck jumped to reach it, not getting anywhere close to it. Miranda smiled at them, ignoring the frown by Tucker. Then, Ben lowered his hand and Tuck hit it.

"Yes!" The three-year old yelled. The four of them walked out of the gym, being swept out by the janitor. Tuck ran ahead to catch up with some of his teammates, laughing and giggling. That was a sound that she wouldn't ever get tired of hearing.

Miranda was stopped by one of the parents, Lisa, the team mother; she was the one who sent emails about every league game, player birthday and team event. "Miranda, Tucker, hi!" Lisa said very excitedly.

Tucker waved, "Hi, Lisa."

"Lisa, how are you?" Miranda answered.

"Well, you know me. Busy, busy, busy!" Lisa said.

"I know how you feel." In her peripheral, she saw Ben scratch his chin. "Oh! Lisa, this is my b-boyfriend, Ben Warren. Ben, this is Lisa Robinson, she has two children on the team." They shook hands.

"Miranda, I'm going to go and warm up the car, okay?" He squeezed her side and walked away. Miranda watched him. She turned back to Lisa to see her watching him as well. Lisa wiggled her eyebrows and nodded in approval, making Miranda chuckle. Tucker scoffed and walked away, giving a feeble goodbye. The two women stood in front of the center chatting for a bit. Their kids came running up to them.

"Mommy, can I go to Devin and Davis' house? Please?" Tuck asked Miranda.

"You have to ask your dad and Mrs. Robinson," Miranda answered. Tuck nodded and the three of them ran off. After adding another game and event to her already packed schedule, Miranda walked over to Ben's car. He started to get out of the car to open the door for her, but she waved him off.

After buckling up, he said: "I know you wanted to go back to your house, but I have to stop at my apartment really quickly."

Miranda shrugged. "Sounds good." It really didn't matter to her. This weekend was a child-free, care-free kind of weekend. One where she could relax and both Meredith Grey and Richard Webber were at the hospital covering for her, so unless some kind of disaster struck Seattle, she was hospital-free for the next two days.

Ben winked at her and turned the radio on. She heard a familiar tune coming from the speaker. "I bet you don't know what this is," Ben said turning the volume up.

She listened for a second. "Seriously?"She said when she realized that it Chaka Khan's "Ain't Nobody." "I've been waitin' for you, it's been so long," she sang.

"Okay. Okay," Ben answered laughing. "That was too easy." Miranda nodded as they both sang the song, the music blasting as they headed across town to Ben's place.

 _Ain't nobody loves me better. Makes me happy. Makes me feel this way. Ain't nobody loves me better, than you._

He slung his arm around the back of her chair, stroking her shoulder. She looked over at him, taking in his profile. Facial hair covered the space around his lips. His moustache, goatee and beard were all neatly trimmed; as were his sideburns. His hair was cut short and she was a sucker for a well-groomed man. His eyes were small and they were looking intently at the road. And his lips—they were currently being licked. Oh, how she wished that she was the one doing it. Miranda bit the corner of her lip. Still cruising, Ben rubbed his cheek. He brought his other hand from behind her head and tickled her under her chin making her giggle. "I was wondering if you were going to smile at all."

She rolled her eyes. "You could have just asked me to smile."

"No, I don't want to force you to do it."

"What do you call tickling me?"

"I don't know. Let me see," he answered reaching out, tickling her side.

"Stop, Ben Warren!" She squealed. "Keep your eyes on the road."

"I am looking at the road," he countered. "Plus, we're here." He parked the car and they got out and headed inside. Exchange Apartments were some of the nicest apartments in the city. Before she separated from Tucker, she'd looked at apartments there. She wanted to have someplace to go just in case Tucker became unreasonable about wanting the house. After her lawyer had drawn up the papers, Tucker was forced to move out, relieving her of a lot of stress. The apartments went for nearly $3,000 a month. She'd once joked early in their friendship that three thousand dollars wasn't even a drop in the bucket for an anesthesiologist. She'd wanted to take the joke back as soon as she said it. She thought he would find it a pedestrian. "Gas Men" were known for sitting on their butts during surgery while surgeons did the 'real' work on the other side of the curtain. Ben had laughed good-naturedly and said: "You mean my lunch money?" When she thought back on their relationship, their friendship, she could always go back to that moment and say that that was one of the reasons why they clicked and why she was so attracted to him.

Ben grabbed Miranda's hand as they stepped onto the elevator. Smooth jazz emitted from the speakers. Getting off on his floor, Miranda recognized one of his neighbors. _Was her name Tyra?_ "Hey, Tiff!" Ben said waving with his free hand; the other still holding onto Miranda's hand, his thumb stroking her fingers. She walked towards them, smiling wide. "You remember my girlfriend, right? Miranda." Tiffany gave her a short wave and when Ben turned to look at Miranda, Tiffany arched her eyebrow up to her hairline.

"Of course! Hi, Miranda." Tiffany glanced down at Ben and Miranda's interlocked hands.

"Hello, again," Miranda responded.

"So, what are you kids up to today?" Tiffany asked. Miranda took a moment to observe the woman. She was about the same age as Ben and Miranda. She was a white woman, a little taller than Miranda who had huge, grey eyes and dark brown hair that fell around her shoulders. She was wearing a white shirt and a pair of red pajamas. Miranda wondered if Tiffany was Ben's type.

"Just hanging out," Ben responded glancing at Miranda. "You?"

"Going out with some friends—you know how I do." The two of them laughed.

"Yeah, I know how you get down, girl," Ben said still laughing. Tiffany touched his arm, smiling widely. She pulled it back when she saw Miranda looking at her.

"Okay, well, I won't keep you two," Tiffany said as she finger-combed her hair into a ponytail, her t-shirt raising and showing off her flat stomach with a pierced bellybutton. "You're still coming to movie night on Wednesday, right, Warren?" He nodded and shrugged noncommittally and said he'd see her later. Miranda and Ben kept moving to his apartment. "Sorry about that."

"About what?" Miranda asked. Ben reached around her and unlocked the door, his body pressing against hers, his chest on her back.

"For Tiffany," he sighed. She nodded. Ben kissed her cheek as they walked into the apartment. They stood in the threshold. "She can be…"

"Unabashedly flirtatious?" Miranda offered.

"Yes!" Ben smiled, showing both rows of teeth. "That is the exact definition of Tiffany." Miranda waited for more. "She has this crush on me and no matter how many times I insinuate that I'm not interested, she just doesn't get it." Miranda walked further into the apartment and looked around. "Don't mind the mess." For some reason, she was always surprised when she was in his apartment. It was well-kept and comfortable. And it always smelled of fresh wood. His living room, dining room and kitchen all occupied one huge, sectioned space. The kitchen was typical, a few pots and pans, the sink had a few dishes in it. Ben caught her looking at them and said: "I'll get to those." She raised an eyebrow at him. "Seriously."

Miranda laughed, "Don't worry about it. It's usually so clean. It's kind of refreshing to see a mess." She walked over to large, clear doors that led to his balcony. The view from it was fantastic and it took her breath away. All of the major sights of Seattle could be seen from his apartment. It was amazing. In the reflection of the doors, she could see Ben sit down on the brown, leather sofa and pull out his phone. "So, why are we here?"

He turned around and gestured for her to come and sit next to him, putting his phone away. "It's kind of… weird?"

Miranda sat next to him, leaving an inch of space between them. "Weirder than dating someone while who's already married?" She muttered under her breath. She hadn't meant what she said, but she couldn't stop it from coming out. She tried to avoid his eyes.

"Hey!" Ben said. The fierceness of his voice shocked her. He touched her chin and lifted it up, so that they were staring at each other. "Our situation is not weird. I know where your heart is." His eyes were intensely focused on her, waiting for her to speak. "Okay?"

"Yeah," she responded quietly.

"Okay." He dropped his hand from her chin and stroked her hair, leaning in to kiss her. Miranda put her hand up and stopped him. His chest bumping into her palm. "What?"

"Uh, what's your weird thing?"

Ben touched her shoulder briefly and grinned. "My neighbor from downstairs, Mrs. Wexler, is bringing me a cake."

"A cake?" He nodded. "A cake is your weird thing?"

"Yeah, she makes a cake, just for me, every other Saturday or whenever she feels like it." Miranda was so confused. What in the world was he talking about? Ben sensed her confusion. "Since I moved into this apartment, Evelyn has kind of taken me in. As a second son."

"Are you providing some service to Mrs. Wexler that makes her return the favor to you in the form of cakes?"

He raised an eyebrow. She mimicked him. "What? _That!?_ No. No. No. Absolutely not!" Ben shook his head wildly, making Miranda laugh. "She's just a nice lady who likes a little company from time to time. And I watch her apartment for her when she goes out of town. She's my friend."

She shrugged. "If you say so."

"I do." Ben kissed her deeply. "I say so very much." He kissed her again, moving his mouth from her lips to her neck. "I love kissing you," he whispered. His mouth found hers again and his tongue entered her mouth. Ben moved on top of her. Miranda's hand touched the side of his body, pulling his shirt up a little. "I can take it off, if you want." Her mind and ears were ringing. Did she want him to take it off? That was a crazy question. Of course she did. A knock on the door saved her from having to verbalize an answer. "Damn it," he grumbled. Ben planted a kiss on her forehead and stood up. He held out a hand for her to take and Miranda stood up as well. Ben walked to the door with Miranda right behind him. He opened the door. "Hello, Mrs. Wexler." Ben leaned down to kiss his guest on the cheek, taking the cake from her hands. "This is the woman I've been telling you about, Dr. Miranda Bailey. Miranda, this is Evelyn Wexler, the best neighbor ever."

The General surgeon stuck her hand out for the woman to shake. About the same height as Miranda, the Black woman was dressed in severely creased black pants and a yellow and black striped shirt. She looked like a little bumblebee with short, gray hair and a pair of glasses pushed to the top of her head. "Hi, Mrs. Wexler."

"Please. Call me Evelyn," she insisted. Miranda looked at Ben who had a surprised look on his face, both of his eyebrows raised. Evelyn moved past them into the kitchen. Ben sat the cake down and took off the cover. "Evelyn Wexler, this cake is beautiful. Just like you." Miranda watched the lady's face turn red as Ben praised her.

"I found a new recipe online and thought about you," she said with a smile. "Let's cut it open. I want to taste it!"

"Definitely, but I just need to use the restroom really quickly."

"Good. It'll give me a chance to talk to this young lady," Evelyn responded pointing at Miranda. Ben winked at Miranda and disappeared down the hall. "So, Miranda, how long have you two been dating?" _Wow, she doesn't waste any time, Miranda thought._

"Al-almost three months," Miranda said.

"And, uh, what do you do?" Evelyn asked washing her hands in the sink. She looked into a drawer and grabbed a knife.

"I'm a mother and a doctor," Miranda answered more confidently. Evelyn nodded. She could see why Ben enjoyed the woman's company. She was nice.

"I'm a mother, too."

"Yeah?"

Evelyn nodded. "I have a son, Johnny." The woman rolled her eyes to the ceiling and shook her head. "He's doing great now, but when I tell you he gave me fits—Fits!" They laughed. "And I have, of course, my surrogate son, Ben." Evelyn smiled quickly, making Miranda smile as well. "How old is your… son, right?"

"Yeah, he's three. How'd you know?" Miranda said getting up and grabbing plates out of the cabinet. She picked up some forks before she sat back down.

"Ben. He talks about you all of the time." It was Miranda's turn to blush. She shook her head slightly to get rid of the red. "I threatened him and told him to bring you by today so that I could meet you. If he didn't, I told him he wouldn't get anymore cake." Miranda opened her mouth to speak. "Listen, honey, I don't know your exact feelings for Ben, but he's become a part of my family. And I don't know if you love him," Evelyn started. Miranda looked away briefly before catching Evelyn's eye. "But I do. He's the happiest I've ever seen him. So I just had to meet the woman putting that silly ass grin on his face every day." Miranda giggled. "Only a fool would be blind to the fact that his happiness coincides with your presence in his life."

"Thank you, Evelyn. For saying that," Miranda said. "He is a really great guy. He treats like a queen. And my son adores him. I'm really lucky."

"You really are," Evelyn agreed. The two of them laughed together as she cut a slice of the cake.

"Wow! Blue Velvet?" Ben said coming up behind Miranda. He kissed the back of her neck when Evelyn wasn't looking and put a hand on her waist. She tried shrugging him off, but he held on tightly. "You have really outdone yourself this time." Evelyn waved her hand at him and cut two more slices. They all sat around the kitchen island and ate the cake. Miranda had never experienced Blue Velvet before, but it quickly rose as one of her favorite flavors. No wonder Ben drove across town for Evelyn's cake.

"So, Ben, where have you been hiding Miranda?" Evelyn asked.

He placed his fork down on his plate. "She's an extremely busy woman."

"No," Miranda interrupted. Ben smiled at her, making her heart skip. "I'm not _that_ busy."

She watched him pick up his fork and twirl it between his fingers, deftly. "And you've been out of town for a week," he said pointing his utensil at Evelyn.

"Still. There's no reason I should be meeting this gem after three months," Evelyn argued.

"Forgive me?" Ben asked getting up and kissing her cheek.

"Forgiven." The three of them talked a little more and before Miranda knew it, the sky began to darken. "Alright. I think I've overstayed my welcome," the woman said standing up and moving towards the door.

"No, Evelyn, you don't have to go," Miranda said getting off of her stool.

"I'm sure you two have a romantic night ahead of you," she said winking at them.

"Evelyn!" Ben said pointing to the door.

The woman laughed. "Miranda, it was great—just great meeting you. Ben, I'll see you at movie night."

"Movie night?" Miranda asked. "I thought that was something you did with Tiffany." She said it to prove that she wasn't jealous although she hated that part of her boyfriend's time was spent with a flirtatious woman. She turned to Ben with a smile.

"What? No," he said shaking his head.

"It's a building-wide thing," Evelyn confirmed. She turned to Ben. "Tiffany?" The woman hit his arm.

"Ouch! We bumped into her in the hallway," he told his neighbor.

"Now I told you to stay away from her. She is trouble."

"Evelyn, now you know I don't do anything alone with that woman," Ben said. He reached for Miranda's hand.

"Good." The woman stood up, fixing her shirt. "Bye to you both." She opened the door and with a wave, she was gone.

Once the apartment door closed behind Evelyn, Miranda looked up at her boyfriend. "I love her!"

"I knew you would," he answered. "She's amazing."

"We got to talk a little bit while you were 'in the bathroom,'" Miranda said using finger quotes. While she'd talked to Evelyn, Ben stayed gone for nearly fifteen minutes.

"Yeah. About what?"

"Stuff."

"You're not going to tell me?"

"You shouldn't have been in the bathroom so long," she said giggling.

Ben reached out for her and pulled her into his arms. "Ready to go back to your place?" Suddenly, a lump rose in her throat and she couldn't speak. "You can say 'no,' you know."

She nodded. "I know I can, Benjamin." Ben caressed her back, sending shivers up and down her spine. Miranda stood on her toes and touched the back of his neck pulling him in for a kiss. Every hair on her body stood up as they passionately. She moaned and felt Ben get hard. Her body reacted instantly. "Let's go." Ben kissed her quickly and grabbed her hand pulling her towards the door. "And don't forget the cake."


	8. Endless Love

**Endless Love**

In the car she asked: "Why didn't you tell me about Evelyn before?"

"Ahhh," he said rubbing his head. "Because I wanted you to meet her." Miranda nodded. "She means a lot to me, as do you." Ben looked over at her and then quickly turned his attention back to the road. "And Evelyn always gives her opinion on the women I date. I know how Johnny must have felt growing up. She tells me which women to hold on to. She estimates how long each relationship will last. And she's accurate. It's kind of creepy. Which is why I was single." The two of them roared with laughter. Ben pulled into her driveway next to her white Mercedes SUV.

"So how long is this lasting?" Miranda asked as he turned the engine off.

"You know, she didn't say," he told.

"I don't believe you," she said baiting him with a smile.

"You're trying to get me in trouble, aren't you?" She shrugged. She just really wanted to know what the woman had said about her. She and Evelyn seemed to hit it off, but it could have all been a charade. What if Evelyn really didn't like Miranda and "suggested" to Ben that they should part company? Suddenly, Miranda felt setup. She was enticed into going over to Ben's apartment to be interviewed by some random woman all so the woman could say that she wasn't good enough. Miranda was done for the day. She touched the handle of the car. Ben stopped her. He reached across her body, moving at Panther-like speed, and took her hand. "She loves you, alright?" Miranda exhaled. "I told her about you the very first time we worked together." Ben ran a hand over her head, running his fingers down her locks to her cheek. "She knows how I feel about you and wouldn't dare guide me any other way but into your arms."

"What about—what about the other ones?"

"If and when they ever met Evelyn it was in the hallway for five seconds. And it was more like: 'Right! Evelyn, yeah, um, meet this girl that I've been seeing for a few weeks, but haven't mentioned one time in all of our conversations. And she has never told any of them to call her Evelyn." Miranda smiled. "That."

"That what?" She asked confused.

"That smile," he said lowering his eyes, giving a small smile of his own.

"What about it?" She asked putting a hand up to her smile.

"It's so beautiful. Don't cover it."

"Then…"

"It's just that—I would do almost anything to make you smile."

Miranda felt her heart jump and put a hand on her chest. "I'm cold," she lied. She wasn't cold at all. Not even chilly, but being with Ben inside of his car was turning her on more than she could have ever imagined. Every time he touched her, her skin sparked and her heart leapt. She needed a bigger area, more space to move and breathe. She couldn't breathe with him touching her and looking like he wanted to kiss her every second. Or was it her that wanted to kiss him every time she looked at him? His lips were parted and his tongue was slightly visible between his teeth.

"Then we should go inside," Ben said simply, knowing that she wasn't telling the truth.

Moving inside of her house, Miranda hung her jacket up and kicked off her shoes. She ran a hand through her hair, took Ben's hand with her free hand and led him to the living room. She sat down first and he sat as close as he could, their bodies touching in several places. "Ben, it doesn't bother you that I'm still technically married?" Miranda asked taking the rubber band from around her wrist and pulling her hair back into a ponytail. Some of the hairs fell in her face. She could see Ben's hand twitch as he restrained himself from pushing the hairs back. Miranda did it for him, moving slowly and licking her bottom lip at the same time.

His grasp on her hand got a little tighter. "Uhh, at first… at first it did, but like I said, I know where you want to be." Ben closed the gap between them a little more when he put one of Miranda's legs behind him and the other on his lap. "Your ex is a fucking jerk. And, Miranda, I swear if he disrespects you one more time—I'm going to kick his ass." Miranda pulled her lips in trying to hold back a smile. She reached up and touched his face, laughter escaping her lips. He was so steamed and so passionate. All for her. She kissed him as she settled back on the sofa. Ben readjusted his body and landed gently on top of her, his hands on either side of her face. Just a few hours ago they'd been in this exact same position. She'd wanted him then and she wanted him now. The only difference between the two situations was that the only company she was expecting was lying on top of her. Ben's lips on her neck made her moan loudly. He chuckled and continued to kiss her, his free hand rubbing the side of her body, warming her up.

Miranda touched his stomach underneath his t-shirt, rock-hard abs. She bit her bottom lip as Ben moved down to her chest, leaving no place on her body untouched by hand or mouth. He got to the bottom of her shirt and pushed it up, Miranda let out a soft moan. Ben kissed her stomach and the elephants in her stomach stomped around. He made a line up to the bottom of her breasts. "That feels good," she said quietly.

Ben ignored her praise. He took her hands and sat her up a little. He slipped his hands behind her back and underneath her shirt. Then, he unhooked her bra, making Miranda gasp. "Just… tell me if I'm going too fast."

Miranda's mind wasn't working fast enough to know what was too fast or slow, up or down. She could barely relax. Ben laid her down and pushed her loose bra and t-shirt up, revealing her breasts. He looked down at them, his eyes closing momentarily, like he was praying before a feast. Ben leaned down and circled her nipples with his tongue. "OhGod!" Miranda yelled. She grabbed his head as he sucked and brought him up for kiss. When his hands found her waist, her initial reaction was to move them. She used her hands to push them away. Ben quickly put them back and continued to kiss her deeply. His tongue in her mouth made her forget where his hands were. He unbuckled her jeans and slipped a hand in her pants, touching a part of her that was no longer familiar to anyone but her. Miranda held her breath as he swiftly helped her out of her jeans. She helped him out of his shirt and tossed it on the floor. Ben kissed her once more before moving slowly down her body. She held onto his head and stopped him. "W-w-what are you doing?" She asked looking into his brown eyes.

"Trust me," he said winking.

"No."

"You don't trust me?"

"Of course, I trust you, Ben Warren, but—" Ben stopped her excuse by kissing her. Then he looked up at her patiently. Here it was, she could stop him now and she knew he wouldn't mind. He would be a gentleman and he would talk with her as long as she wanted, never bringing up sex. Or she could give herself to him and let him see the side of her that she knew that he wanted to see, her vulnerable and sensual side. Miranda licked her lips. Her heart was pounding so loud, she hoped that he wouldn't think she was having a heart attack. Miranda pulled down her shirt and looked him dead in his eyes: "I am Miranda Bailey. Dr. Miranda Bailey. And I have spent years not only perfecting my craft, but my reputation." Ben nodded and tried to kiss her. She put a hand to his mouth. He twisted his face as she continued: "I want this—Us. What we have and we're… about to do. I want it." She watched a smile spread across his face. "But I also want it to stay between us. People can guess, but they don't have to know."

"Okay," he said seriously.

"Promise me, Miranda demanded.

"I promise," he said looking deep into her eyes.

"There is no going back," she told him quietly, running a finger over his beard.

He nodded again and moved back up until they were face to face. "I don't want to go back," he said with a short laugh. "Being your friend will only suffice if I can be your lover as well." He stroked her hair. They were quiet for a long time. She kissed him occasionally. "Now—and listen to me very closely."

Miranda swallowed. "Okay."

"I'm going to make love to you, Miranda Bailey." Her body popped slightly. "I'm going to give you 100% of who I am and I expect you to do the same. I don't want you to hold back on anything. Not a tear or a kiss. A scratch or a curse." Miranda bit her bottom lip and nodded as her body melted, longing to be touched by her man. "And definitely not a scream or a moan," he whispered into her ear. He kissed her once more and wasted no time moving between her legs. He pulled her panties to the side and with one lick, he made her legs shake and her heart burst.

"Ahhhh! Baby!" Miranda screamed. She put a hand to her mouth to quiet herself down. Ben looked up quickly and removed her hand. "Ben!" She heard him laugh as he continued to suck her body. She stroked his head as he kissed the inside of her thighs. Miranda contorted her body with pleasure, trying to escape his mouth. Ben had a strong hold on her legs and kept licking and playing with her until a wave of relief flowed through her body. "OhmyGod! OhmyGod! OhmyGod!" Miranda called out, hoping that God would forgive her for being so blasphemous. Even after her orgasm, Ben stayed below and planted kisses between her legs. Miranda grabbed his head and pulled him back up. She could taste herself on him. What she thought would be a nasty feeling, was actually erotic and was turning her on so much. She needed him. Briefly her thoughts went back to Tucker. He was not the kind of man who worried about pleasing her unless he was getting something in return. Ben didn't expect anything, but the sound of her gratefully yelling in his ear.

Miranda had waited for him to make his move. And what a move it was. It definitely got her attention. She'd give him that. She wasn't ashamed of the tear falling from her left eye onto her sofa cushion. Ben didn't speak as he wiped it away. She kissed his hand as it moved across her face. Miranda stood up and fixed her panties. Ben laughed and smacked her butt, pulling her down onto his lap. She squealed. "You taste so f—"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence, Ben Warren!" She said in a raspy voice. He laughed again. Miranda got off of his lap and grabbed his hand. She pulled him towards the stairs.

"Wait. I… gotta…," his voice trailed off and he jerked his head towards the front door.

"I have some," she responded as they made their way up to her bedroom.

Neither one of them bothered to turn on the light. Miranda sat on the edge of her bed and slid back. This would be the first time that she'd be having sex on this bed. She'd bought a new one after she sent Tucker the divorce papers. Miranda looked up at Ben who was pulling off his jeans, his muscles rippling with every movement. He took off his boxers, kicking them away. There was an aching pain in Miranda's stomach that had nothing to do with hunger. Wordlessly, he crawled across the bed. "Hey," he said smoothing her hair back. She knew it must look so crazy, but he didn't care and neither did she.

"Hey yourself."

Ben leaned in to kiss her, their lips moving faster than either one could process. He was so fine and he tasted so good. She rubbed his head and deepened the kiss, sticking her tongue further down his throat. She could feel him touch the hem of her shirt, pushing it up. Miranda pushed him away and sat up, pulling off her bra and tossing it on the floor. Ben helped with her t-shirt, taking it off, her breasts spilling out of it. His mouth was gaping open looking at her. Embarrassed, Miranda wrapped her arms around the top of her body. "No, please—don't," he begged touching her arms. His pure honesty shocked her. He was really attracted to her. He made his way to the top of her panties, sliding them down and, soon enough, they, too, were on the floor. Finally, they were both naked, their bodies pressed against each other. Ben kissed her softly. "Are you okay?" He asked in her ear his deep voice running through her body. She managed to nod. "Good. I want you to feel comfortable."

"I'm comfortable." She ran her hands all over his body, she just couldn't hold back anymore; she had to touch him. "And they're in my nightstand." Ben nodded and reached over to get one, putting it on, cupping her butt and sliding into her. His fingers traced over her skin, making her body tingle. He kissed and nibbled on her nipples and neck. "AHHH," she whimpered into his ear. Miranda kissed behind his ear and heard him groan. She'd found a spot and giggled. Ben went deeper, being very deliberate about making love to her. With every stroke, Miranda called out, throwing her head back. She held onto him tightly, her nails scratching the surface of his skin.

"Yes!" He yelled.

"OhmyGod!" She told him. He nodded and flipped them over so that she was on top. "Ben Warren!"

"Just a different perspective," he said with a laugh. His hand ran across her head, pulling the rubber band out of her hair. "I love everything about you." Miranda blushed and kissed his chest, she was finally in control and able to have her way. And that was just the way she liked. She dropped her hands on his chest and ground her body into his, sinking onto him. "Shit! Damn!" Ben yelled.

Feeling his hands on her butt and running up her back made her speed up. "My God!" She called out as she came fast. She dropped onto Ben's body, still moving as he came, too, sending another shock through her body. "Feels so good, baby!" Miranda tried to catch her breath in between kisses. She grabbed the sides of his face and kissed him once more before falling onto the bed next to him. His breaths were quick as well. She didn't speak. Neither did he. For a second, she was reminded of countless times that she and Tucker had been in this situation. Sex with Tucker had always been about the physical relief, never the emotional. She didn't know what to do or say. That soon to be ex-husband of hers never paid any special attention to her body. And since he was the only man she'd ever been with, she didn't know any other way. She thought that's how sex was supposed to be, a chore that could bring a little pleasure. Breathing heavily, she thought about the man lying next to her and what she'd just shared with him. Ben. That connection wasn't just about the sex. It was every time they hugged or kissed. It was proof that there was supposed to be more to a sexual relationship. Desire. Passion. Miranda took a deep breath and felt her eyes swell up. She pulled the covers up to her neck and pushed some sweat into her hair. She tried not to blink as the tears blurred her vision. As long as no one said anything, she would be fine.

"Miranda," Ben said softly. She closed her eyes and the tears fell slowly. "Please don't tell me I was _that_ bad. If you tell me that, my ego will be torn to shreds." A smile escaped her lips. He was so crazy. She felt the bed move as Ben turned on his side to face her. He wiped some of the tears away. "Baby, what's wrong?"

Miranda took another deep breath. "Nothing."

"But you're crying."

"You noticed."

"You're sassy, too. I like that," he said kissing her cheek, letting his lips linger on her face.

"Stop kissing me," Miranda told him with another smile, this one wider.

"Tell me what's wrong." His lips were still attached to her face.

"Nothing's wrong."

"Then tell me—"

"I have…n-never felt like this," she admitted. Miranda turned to Ben. She could barely see him out of the mass of hair covering her face. "I feel so good."

His hands touched her sweaty hair. They stared at each other. Ben moved closer to her, putting a hand under the cover and touching her bare waist. Miranda reached out and touched him, too; feeling for his body in the darkness. "I heard you talking to Tucker," he said suddenly.

"What? When?" She asked running her hand up the side of his body.

"Before Tuck's game. When he asked you if you loved me." Miranda's heart stopped. She felt like she could hear the blood flowing inside of their bodies. That's how quiet it was. She ground her teeth. Even when Tucker wasn't around, he was ruining everything. "I don't know how you feel about me, but—"

She cut him off. "You know how I feel about you, Ben." The General surgeon touched the Anesthesiologist's face.

"But I love you," he continued. "I never said it before because I didn't want to freak you out. I didn't want you to pull away." Miranda licked her lips. "But now I have you in my arms. And even if you pull away, I'll be right here ready to pull you back. I love you, Miranda Bailey." The smile on his face confirmed it all. He loved her. The tears were coming back. She took deep breaths. "It's okay. You don't have to say it back or anything. I told you I was giving 100% and there it is. I love you." Ben leaned in and kissed her. She accepted the kiss before pushing him away.

"Ben Warren…," she started hitting his chest. He winced. Miranda remembered Tucker's words and shook them away quickly. "I don't want to push you away."

"Then don't."

"I've been hurt," Miranda told him, one hand on her chest. "My heart and head are all over the place."

"I want to help you," he spoke quickly.

"When I tell you I love you, I want you to know how much it took for me to say it." Ben nodded moving closer. Miranda reached up and touched his Adam's apple. Any part of him that she got to touch was such a sweet feeling. "And how much of myself I'm giving up if I give you my heart."

"Okay."

The words were on the tip of her tongue. Miranda closed her eyes. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she'd been thinking about it. Loving Ben and making love to him. A commitment like the one they were considering could be disastrous; her failed marriage had already proven it to be true. But it could also be powerful; she could have a love like her parents'. Elena and William had a marriage made up of compromise and sacrifice and strength and pure love. When she opened her eyes, Ben was still looking at her. "I love you, too, Ben Warren."

She thought she saw a tear in his eye. "I knew it," Ben said hugging her, smiling widely.

"You absolutely did not!" She laughed. She tried to push him away, but he held her tightly.

"Yes, I did."

"When?" She challenged.

He rubbed his beard and pulled her closer. Miranda laid her head on his chest. "It was a bunch of stuff. But the first time we kissed. I knew it then. And when you let me talk you into turning your phone off when we went to see The Illusionists. I thought to myself, she trusts me this much, she's gotta love me." Ben lifted her chin and kissed her again.

Miranda sucked her teeth. "Since you know me so well—"

"I do," he interrupted.

"What do I want right now?"

Ben surprised her by pushing her back and climbing on top of her. He leaned down and kissed her lips again, biting her bottom lip. Miranda moaned softly. "Am I right?" He asked kissing the tops of her breasts, making her nipples erect. "Am. I. Right?"

"Nope," she said with a giggle.

"No?" She shook her head. "Then what?"

"Cake." Miranda pushed him off of her. She scrambled off of the bed, taking the sheets with her, leaving a naked and shocked Ben on the bed. She walked out of her bedroom and down the stairs to the kitchen. She heard Ben running behind her. She turned around to see him wearing her favorite silky blue robe. When she wore it, it stopped at her knees. On him, it barely reached his thighs. Miranda laughed loudly. Ben walked up behind her and removed one piece of the sheet from her shoulder. He kissed her shoulder, goose bumps appeared over her entire body. "I am so happy," she said softly and earnestly. And she really was. She'd forgotten the airy and joyous feeling after having great sex. Ben cut a huge slice of cake and grabbed two forks as they settled down at the table. Miranda and Ben clinked their forks together before diving into the dessert.

"How does it feel getting it all out… your feelings about me?"

"Well, when Tucker asked," Miranda licked her fork. "I thought by saying that I did love you, I'd be spiting him. Then, I didn't want to waste that energy trying to make him feel bad."

"You're a good woman. A good person."

"So are you," she responded picking up a forkful of cake and offering it to him.

Ben squinted his eyes at her and ate it, running a tongue over his lips. Back in her bedroom, Miranda and Ben twirled passionately in the bed again. She loved how her body caved with his every touch. Making love to Ben put tears of joy in her eyes. He made her feel safe and his kiss melted her. After their last round, breathing heavily, with her head on his chest, Ben stroked Miranda's head. "Do I make you happy?" He asked. His voice sounded like he thought there was a possibility that she'd say _no._

"Yes," she said turning on her side. She felt Ben move behind her.

"I guess that's why you love me."

"I do," she told him, grabbing his arm and putting it close to her heart. "I really do."


	9. Once I've Done It

**Once I've Done It**

Miranda was falling. Or, at least, it felt like she was falling. She was just about to hit the ground when her eyes popped open. Her room was still dark and there was an unfamiliar sound coming from behind her. Snoring. Ben. She smiled to herself. He was still there, holding onto her tightly. His arm was still wrapped around her, her naked back rested on his equally naked chest. She moved his hand back and slipped out of bed. Miranda went to her dresser and pulled out a black t-shirt that fell just past her butt. It was one of the many shirts that she'd stolen from Tucker over the course of their relationship. She pulled on the shirt and got back into the bed. She reached over onto her nightstand and picked up her phone. It was two o'clock in the morning. And it was the first time in a long time that at two o'clock in the morning she, wasn't restless after a stressful day or overworked after a long shift at the hospital or after having to sit up with a sick child. She nestled her body inside of Ben's. He moved and put his arm around her again. "I thought you left me," he said into her ear, his beard brushed her neck.

"Nope, I was just putting on a t-shirt."

"Don't think I like the sound of that," Ben said with a laugh. Miranda shook her head. He put a hand on her waist and felt her body until he found the hem of her shirt. "That's a long shirt. That's yours?"

"I've had it for like 15 years, so I'd say it's mine."

"But you didn't buy it. You're not the original owner," Ben said raising the shirt. His touch on her skin was soft.

"Maybe."

"Was it Tucker's?" Ben asked climbing over Miranda to face her. She twisted her lips to the side and nodded. "Mmmhmm. Well, how about this?"

"What's that?"

He kissed her lips softly. "Since we're together, I think that if you're gonna wear a shirt—which I don't recommend—you should only wear my t-shirts." She touched his face and brought him in for another kiss. He rolled out of the bed and picked up his underwear.

"Where are you going?"

"I'll be back," he called over his shoulder before walking out of the room. She sat up in the bed and leaned against her headboard. Where was he going? Was he going home? No, his pants were still on the floor and his sneakers were still on her bedroom floor. Miranda waited for him. She crossed and uncrossed her legs. She lay back down, pulling the covers up. She felt awkward. Miranda moved back into her original position.

"Where are you, Ben Warren?" She sang to the empty room.

"I am right here," he said coming through the doorway with two plates in his hand and a shirt on his shoulder.

"What is all of that?" She pointed towards him.

Ben put the plates down on her other nightstand and hopped into the bed. "Here's my t-shirt. It is now yours. So, you can put that one in the back of your closet somewhere." Miranda nodded. "I'll help you out of it." He reached out and touched the shirt she was wearing.

"I got it," she told him tugging the shirt over her head and tossing it towards her closet. She took the one that he was holding and put it on. The shirt was cool and a little tighter than the one she'd just taken off, but about the same length. "This smells just like you."

"That's a good thing, right?"

"Yep." She looked over to him. "I love it." Miranda wouldn't say anymore. She wouldn't tell him that she adored the combination of his deodorant and his cologne. And how sometimes she just had to inhale him because he smelled so good. "So what else do you have over there?"

"Well," he said picking up a plate. "I went rummaging through your refrigerator and cabinets and I found nothing that was ready-to-eat, but you did have two slices of the pizza that we had the other night, so I warmed it up."

"Thanks," Miranda said taking a bite of the lukewarm pizza. Some grease dripped on her chin. "Napkins?"

Ben ran to the bathroom to get some tissue. He got back on the bed between Miranda's legs. Using his long wingspan, he grabbed his plate. He put his back on her chest. "This okay?"

"This is great," she answered. They ate in silence; she loved feeling his heartbeat through his back. Miranda put her plate on the nightstand. "So, tell me something about yourself."

"Like what?"

"Like anything."

Ben wiped his mouth with a piece of tissue. "Well, my mom used to be a nurse. And she used to take me with her to the hospital." Miranda drew lines over his shoulder blades and down his chest. In all her life, she never imagined that she would be this content with a man. For a while she'd enjoyed her marriage to Tucker. She was young and there was something amazing about being a wife. And having a husband who provided for her and who loved her. She honestly believed that Tucker had really been in love with her and wanted a life with her. But the smiles soon faded and the happy times got further and further apart. But she'd never felt unadulterated joy like she felt being with Ben. He offered her a bite of cake. Miranda took it and leaned down to kiss his muscular back. "What was that for?"

"Because I—" She stopped herself. She wanted to tell him that she loved him. She wanted to say it again and again until it no longer seemed like a dream. She bit her bottom lip. She feared that she'd said it too many times already. Twice. He was probably tired of hearing it. Miranda didn't want to scare the poor man off. "I mean, is that why you became a doctor?"

"Hell no," he answered. "It's the reason I fought becoming a doctor for so long." They laughed loudly, the sound echoed through the black bedroom, bouncing back to them, making them laugh even harder. It was so easy. _Easy_. Being with Ben was simple. He made her comfortable and she felt safe and loved. She found that she even liked the little vulnerability that she felt with him.

"So, I've been meaning to ask you something."

"Go ahead," she said curious to what he might ask.

"And you don't have to answer if you don't want to."

"Ben Warren. I'll answer the question."

He turned slightly. "Did you only want one child or did you want more and you guys… just never got around to it?" Ben licked his lips.

A tiny smile appeared on Miranda's face. There were some things that she'd pushed so far down inside of herself and they only surfaced when she remembered to remember them. "We, uh—we tried. A lot." Miranda blew a little air out of her nose. "I told you that Tucker and I got married just before I started med school, right?"

"Yeah, I remember." Ben took another bite of the blue cake.

"Well, right after, you know, he wanted to start a family, but I was in school and I didn't think that I could handle it all." The man in her bed nodded sympathetically. "It's a lot, raising a baby, being a wife, going to school and I was working at the time."

"I believe it, Miranda."

"I wanted to wait. But people kept saying things like: 'Don't wait too late,' 'y'all aren't getting any younger' or 'you want to start now so you can have more than one'. And it upset me because I felt like everyone was trying to make me choose between my future career and my family. Tucker didn't have to choose. There was no sacrifice on his part. No one ever makes men choose."

"No, they don't."

"Exactly, but I conceded. I told Tucker, you know, 'let's have a baby'." Absentmindedly, Miranda stroked the back of Ben's head. "It's not as easy as some people make it out to be."

"Having a baby?" Ben asked.

Miranda nodded. "It's—well, for me—it wasn't intercourse and poof! I was pregnant." Ben's hand landed on her thigh. "After a year of really trying with the ovulation schedules and having sex even when we were mad at each other, I didn't—we never got pregnant. Not one time."

"I'm sorry, baby," Ben said putting the plate back on the nightstand and turning around to kiss her. She could taste the cake on his lips and smiled into his mouth. "You taste sweet."

Miranda blushed as he moved beside her. She looked at him and didn't stop her hand from reaching out to touch his face. He was real. Ben told her to keep going. "Oh," she sighed. "One day, I took a test, already knowing that it was going to be negative—again. And… I was wrong. Which doesn't happen often," she said with a chuckle. He rolled his eyes towards the ceiling and pretended to whistle. She hit him and continued to speak as he rubbed his chest. "I just sat down and cried. Being pregnant was such a joyful time." She smiled thinking about that time. It seemed like it'd happened ages ago. "I would smile just because. I was so happy—she gave me so much energy. I mean, I'd be in class and someone would ask a question and my hand would shoot up in the air. I was like, uh, Hermione from _Harry Potter_." She and Ben laughed. "It was like she was giving me the answers."

"Hermione?" Ben asked looking confused.

"No, the baby," Miranda answered with a weak smile.

"Oh." His voice was melancholy. He knew where the story was going.

She inhaled deeply and sighed. She felt tears prick her eyes and touched her stomach, wrapping an arm around herself. "Two months later, Tucker and I went to my doctor's appointment and she was gone."

"Gone?"

Miranda wiped away some tears. "The d-doctor said that it happened sometimes." Ben's pressed his hand against her back and pulled her closer to him. She ignored the tears slowly streaming down her face. "We tell patients that they 'lost' their baby… like they can be found, b—." Miranda took a deep breath and composed herself. "After that, we stopped trying. I mean, I just couldn't bear another heartache like that. It was too much. Not being able to get pregnant is one thing, but being pregnant one day and then finding out that you're not is too painful."

"Miranda, I can't imagine," he told her, his thumb brushing against her cheeks, wiping away some tears. "It must have been so difficult."

"That's—I'm fine," Miranda told him. "It was… a long time ago." She smiled to let him know that she was all right. She cleared her throat and started again. "Some years flew by and I got pregnant with Tuck. My little fireball." Ben gave a wide smile. "We weren't even trying. I was starting my fellowship and all I kept thinking about was how tough it was going to be, juggling everything. But, he was—he is such a blessing." Ben nodded and kissed Miranda's forehead. "Carrying Tuck is how I know my first baby was a girl. Carrying him, I was hungry all of the time. I had no liveliness. I was tired and curt with everyone."

"What about Tucker."

"Oh! Especially Tucker." She giggled. "Did you know that carrying a boy in your uterus means you burn 19% more calories than if you had a girl?" He looked intrigued. "Yep. Men. From the very beginning they just suck the life right out of you."

Ben gasped dramatically. "That's messed up. We don't."

She nodded. "I'll soon have an ex-husband, but I also have a son, two fathers, a boyfriend and plenty of male co-workers. I know what I know." Ben's fingers found her stomach and tickled her. "Okay. Okay. You don't."

"Thank you."

"Mostly," she added quickly making Ben howl with laughter. Miranda laughed as well.

"So do you want more children?"

Miranda thought for a second. "I always figured that we, uh, Tucker and I, would have more time to."

"That doesn't really answer my quest—"

"Yes."

He nodded. "Figures."

"How?"

"You're an amazing mother."

She bypassed his comment. "So, Ben Warren, do you want children?"

"Of course," he responded without hesitating. "And then maybe my mom and Evelyn will get off my back. They want me married and they want me to be a father." He chuckled lightly and looked at her, waiting for her to respond. She opened her mouth and snapped it shut immediately. The two of them stayed in the silence. Her mind was buzzing. Was there a timeline where she and Ben had kids together? One in which they were married? In which their forever lasted longer than the one she'd planned with Tucker? "I think…" Ben started, his words pulling her out her thoughts. "I think I'd be a great dad."

"I don't dissagree," Miranda answered, finally finding her voice. He moved in to kiss her chest. "What was that for?"

"Because I love you," he said with a smile. "And you're mine and I can kiss you anywhere." He kissed her chest again; her nipples perked up. "Anytime." His lips found her neck making her body pound. She wondered if Ben could tell that she wanted him—again. "And for as long as I want to." Ben kissed her lips, hard and deep. Miranda grabbed the sides of his face, pushing as much of her tongue into his mouth as she could. Enough never seemed to be enough. He sucked on her bottom lip causing her to change positions, moving from her side to her back. He took the opportunity to climb on top of her. He kissed her deeply. His hands lifted her shirt up and caressed the side of her body.

"Oh, no, you don't!" She said pushing him off. The bed shook as he landed on his back.

"What?" He asked with a laugh. He knew exactly what she was talking about.

"My son has a game tomorrow and I will not walk into the gym with sex hair and bags under my eyes."

"You'd still look good."

She blushed, her cheeks growing hot. "That is not the point, Ben Warren." He poked out his lips and she rolled her eyes at him, arching an eyebrow.

He put up his hands, pulling her into his chest. "Fine," Ben said into her ear, making her spine shake. "But I think you're gonna regret it."

Miranda made a noise. "Baby, that's a risk I'm willing to take."

Ben rested his chin in the cavern between her shoulder and her face. "I've dreamed about this."

"Really?"

He nodded. "Is that an unmanly thing to say?"

She shook her head. "I have, too."

"Mmmm…. And?"

"It was definitely better than I expected," she admitted. Her cheeks flushed again.

Ben held her tighter. "Yes," he hissed in her ear.

"Now that you got my stamp of approval, can I go to sleep?" Ben nodded. "Good night." He repeated the sentiment, kissing her behind her ear. More goose bumps appeared as she whispered: "I love you, Ben Warren." She waited a second for him to respond. When he didn't, she let go a small sigh of relief. She was surprised at how true her last statement was. She really did love him and would probably always love him. For all she knew, he could be The One. The Real One. The Right One. The rest of her life could be shared with him and she would be so lucky. He would never be rude or disrespectful. He'd always love her. Although she was trying to go to sleep, her feelings for him were overwhelming her. The surgeon didn't want to get ahead of herself, didn't want to skip a step, that's how people made mistakes. She wanted to take it slow and easy. Patience was the key. But being in his arms, feeling his chest rise against her back was an amazing feeling. It had been a long time since she'd been this close to a man. Miranda closed her eyes and felt her body start to relax. And she fell asleep.


	10. Split Screen Sadness

**Split Screen Sadness**

Miranda had met the love of her life. Once. In a dream. Even now she remembered it so clearly. The man had no face and no distinguishing physical features. But she'd always remember his voice. It was so soothing. It drew her in and made her want to ask questions just to hear him answer. In the dream, he'd simply said: "I am the love of your life, Miranda Bailey." Miranda had scoffed at him and asked him what his name was. He hadn't answered. She had started to walk away, but he'd grabbed her hand. She'd turned around to face him. "You're with someone now, but I will be there when it's over." Her eyes had popped open and she'd turned over in her bed to tell Tucker about her dream. She was caught off guard by the sight of him putting on his clothes. "W-where are you going?"

"Work, uh, they're—Jenson called us all in."

"On a Sunday Morning?" Miranda had asked sitting up in the bed.

"Yes," he'd replied scratching his head, making Miranda shake her head. He was lying. That was his tell. Whenever he lied, he scratched his head.

"Okay," she'd said calmly. She wasn't going to waste time being angry or upset. Miranda had turned her back to her husband and closed her eyes again. She wanted to fall asleep and dream of the guy who was (apparently) the love of her life.

"Miranda?" She turned in the direction of the voice and licked her lips. She'd fallen back to sleep and found him again. That never happened. The guy with the soothing voice.

"Yeah," she answered, smiling widely, but did not open her eyes.

"I'm going to go home and change my clothes," he said again. She felt a hand on her shoulder.

"You just put on your clothes," she told the voice. "You got called in."

"What?"

She inhaled. She rubbed her eyes and opened them. She was in her bedroom. Not the one she used to share with Tucker, but the one she'd decorated after he'd moved out. So that meant that the voice was—"Ben?"

"Yes, baby?" She turned around and hugged him suddenly, throwing him off balance. "Woah!"

"Uh, sorry about that."

"That is okay. I love morning hugs." Miranda smirked. "Good morning, Miranda."

"Good morning," she answered. "So what were you saying?"

"I'm going home to change clothes. I'll be back later." Miranda pulled the covers up to her neck. She nodded. "Hey." He touched her chin, making her look at him. "I will be back. And I want breakfast on that table when I get back." Miranda sat up and furrowed her brow at him. "I'm kidding," he said quickly. He kissed her cheek. "I'm kidding." She nodded and moved off of the bed and walked with him down the stairs.

He opened the door. "You know I was only kidding about breakfast," he offered touching his chest. He embraced her and kissed her lips.

"Mmmhmm."

"And to make it up to you, I will make breakfast."

"Good." The two of them were quiet. "I, uh, had a great time last night," she said suddenly.

"Are you blowing me off?" He asked, cocking his head to the side.

"No! Of course not!" She exclaimed. "I just wanted you to know that I enjoyed _us_ last night."

"I know. I was there," he responded with a laugh. Miranda gasped dramatically and pushed him out of the door.

"What time is the game?" He called out before he got into his car.

"At noon, I think."

"Same place?"

She shook her head. "This is his traveling team. It's in Bellevue. It's like two games." Ben said that he'd be back as soon as he could and left.

Miranda locked her front door and went back upstairs to her bedroom. It looked almost the same as it did the morning before. The bed was unmade, there were clothes scattered around the room, but the energy in the room was different. She looked at her messy bed; the sheets were hanging off of the side, the comforter was untucked and the pillows were sprawled over the mattress. Usually, she was a stickler for organization, neatness at work and at home. Instead, Miranda just crawled back into the bed. It now had different memories. It was no longer the place where she'd cried because her marriage was over or where she'd gotten drunk the first weekend that Tuck spent away from her with his father. Those were bad. These newer ones were happy and they made her feel good. They involved getting touched by someone she loved and getting kissed in places that she'd forgotten existed. She smiled to herself as her eyes closed. Her phone rang. She leaned over and picked it up. "Hello?"

"Hey," Tucker's voice said.

"Yes?"

"Hey."

"You said that," she reminded him.

"Yeah, are you going to Tuck's basketball game?"

"I was planning on it," she said fluffing her pillow.

"I have a meeting, so I have to miss—"

"Don't…"

"Miranda, this is important," he said sternly. "All…all right?"

"Fine. Bring him home."

"The meeting should be finished right after the first game. I'll try to make it to the second game and pick him up and then drop him off at school on Monday."

"Fine," Miranda repeated. "Anything else?"

"Naw," he responded.

"I guess I'll see you soon."

"Yeah. Bye." Miranda disconnected the call without signing off. She got out of bed and pulled the covers and sheets from her bed. They needed to be washed. She balled them up and took them to her laundry room. Back upstairs, she put on the radio and hopped in the shower. The warm water on her body enhanced her mood. She toweled off as her doorbell rang. Miranda put on her robe and headed down the stairs.

"Mommy!" A small voice called behind the locked door.

"Who is it?" She asked with a laugh.

"It's me, mommy!" Tuck shouted. She heard him giggling like a maniac and her heart melted.

"Who's me?" She asked opening the door. Tuck rushed into her arms. She picked him up and kissed his cheek. "Good morning, sir. Did you have breakfast? How are you?" She put him back on the floor. He shook his head. "Well, if you can wait a while, breakfast will be ready." Tuck nodded. "Go put your stuff away." Tuck hugged his father and scurried up the stairs, dragging his bag behind him.

"I'll be back later, son!" Tucker called out.

"Okay, daddy!" Their son yelled from the top of the stairs.

"Robe's open," Tucker said under his breath. There was a small smirk on his face.

Miranda followed his gaze. A small part of her breasts were showing. Miranda rolled her eyes and tightened her robe. "Thanks," Miranda said. She walked into her living room with Tucker following her. "So, uh, this meeting… what's it about?"

"Just some work stuff. I wouldn't cut into your weekend if it wasn't important. You know that, right?"

"No, I don't," she told him honestly.

Tucker sat down on a sofa and gestured for Miranda to do the same. He turned his body towards her. This was the most time they'd spent alone since she'd started dating Ben. "I might be getting promoted."

"Tha-that's great!" Miranda exclaimed. Even thought she wanted a divorce, Miranda realized that she could still be happy for him.

He blushed. "Yeah, it is. They're voting sometime during the week and—I'm meeting up with one of the executive folks to really get a feel of which way everyone is leaning."

"Tucker, good for you."

"Thanks, Mandy." He moved closer to her. He picked up her hands. Miranda took a deep breath and looked away. "I miss you so much, Miranda."

"I—" Miranda's heart was beating so swiftly. She didn't know what to say. Was there some piece of her that was missing him, too? They'd been together so long, where did all those feelings go? They couldn't have just disappeared. He'd been such a big part of her life, of her growth and development. He was the father of her child. She once thought that he was the love of her life, the guy from her dream. "I think about you every night." Miranda pulled her hands from his grasp and backed away from him. "I want you. And only you. I want you back. I know I fucked up. I know I did and… and… and I'm sorry."

"Tucker…," she started quietly. "You—It's… it's fine."

"I love you."

She disregarded him. "Now. It's fine now. But it wasn't before. You hurt me and while I've forgiven you, I don't trust you," she admitted.

"But I said I was sorry. It was a mistake," he pleaded. Miranda stayed quiet, but instead took a good look at him. His eyes were wild. She noticed that he hadn't shaved in days; hair covered most of his face. All of a sudden, Miranda felt really bad for him. In fact, she pitied him. Her heartbeat returned to its normal rhythm. She could still care about him and maybe even love him again, but she didn't want to be with him. It was that simple. Miranda asked more about the promotion, trying to change the subject. "Do you think about me?" He asked without answering her question. She started to answer. She wanted to tell him that he was no longer the man she thought about. That she'd checked out of their relationship for good. "I know you think about me." She shook her head.

"Excuse me?" His bizarre statement had pulled her out of her thoughts.

"Look around, you're by yourself. Just the way you wanted."

Miranda's blood was boiling. "Wha—where do you get off saying those kinds of things?"

"When you're here all alone, cold and lonely." Miranda tried to take deep breaths. She didn't know if it was Tucker's intention, but he was angering her. He moved closer, their knees touching. "Wondering, wanting my hands on you. Feeling my lips…" Her throat was tightening. She tried closing her eyes. Maybe this wasn't really happening. When she did, she felt Tucker's lips press against hers. During the length of their second-long kiss, Miranda felt nothing. No sparks. No butterflies, nothing. There used to be a time when his look alone could turn her into a pool of adoration. She pushed him away, her hands hitting his hard chest. She stood up and crossed her arms. He moved behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist.

Miranda didn't move. She felt like she was rooted to the spot. "Tucker, you need to go," her voice was strong and her request was valid. Tucker had crossed too many lines and she'd feel more comfortable if he left.

"Why? Because I know you're still in love with me, baby," Tucker whispered into her ear.

"Uh, no, she's not," a voice said cutting through the hard silence. Miranda and Tucker turned around to see Ben with his hands on his hips. Miranda was so happy to see him, her heart was swelling. Ben's face was screwed up and, in addition to looking sexy, he looked mad as hell. His focus was on Tucker. He didn't even look at Miranda. "See, at night, Tucker, Miranda doesn't have to worry about your touch, because my hands do all of the work. She's thinking about me, bruh." Tucker started to speak. Ben cut him off. "You blew it. It's over. Miranda's my woman now."

"Look, man, you don't know what we've been through—"

"You need to go," Ben told him. He took a step into the room, his eyes locked on Tucker. Tucker didn't budge. Ben moved closer to the taller man and lowered his voice so that Miranda had to strain to hear him: "And if you make her feel uncomfortable again, I will promptly kick the shit out of you."

Tucker looked back at Miranda whose eyes were fixated on Ben. He was glaring at Tucker with crazy eyes. She'd never seen this side of Ben. She didn't even know he had an intimidating side. To be honest, she was kind of turned on. Ben winked at her. Tucker shook his head and walked towards the door. "I'll, uh, be back for Tuck later."

Miranda nodded. Her boyfriend walked her soon to be ex-husband to the front door. Miranda sat down on the sofa and ran a hand over her face. She felt a burning feeling behind her eyes. _No tears_ , she thought, putting her face into her hands. She heard the door close. Ben walked into the living room and sat down next to her. He put his arm around her, pulling her into his chest. Miranda sobbed onto his black t-shirt. He rubbed her back, trying to calm her down. "I am s-so sorry."

"Miranda, why are you apologizing?" Ben asked, his voice soft. Miranda sniffled. "He's an asshole, baby." He pushed some hairs behind her ear. "He's jealous and mad at himself because he knows what he lost when he let you go. He lost an amazing and beautiful, talented and sexy woman and he's kicking himself in the ass for it. And while I can't blame him, I also don't feel bad for him." She chuckled into his chest and looked up at him. He was smiling. She pushed Ben's chest. He grabbed her hands and brought her in for a kiss. Her hands went to his face as her tongue begged for entrance into his mouth. She moaned softly and pulled away. Miranda's body melted instantly. She felt that kiss! "How can I? When you obviously got the best end of the deal." Miranda laughed loudly. "And so did I."

She blushed. He said the sweetest things. "Thank you, Ben Warren."

He stood up and pulled her off of the sofa, too. "Now, I'm going into the kitchen to make breakfast, as per our plan." She nodded. "You go upstairs and try to look even more beautiful than you do now, Tuck, you and I will eat and then, we'll head off to game. Sound good?"

"Yes!" Tuck said as he walked up to them. "Hi, Ben!"

"Good morning, buddy." Ben held out his hand and Miranda watched as they shook hands. She walked out of the room and went upstairs.


	11. Catalyst

**Catalyst**

"Mommy!" Tuck called out.

"Miranda!" Ben said loudly. "The game starting at noon doesn't mean we leave at noon."

"I'm coming. I'm coming," she told them. She took one last look in the mirror. She was wearing a pair of dark, purple jeans, a gray sweater and her most comfortable shoes, a pair of gray flats. Miranda nodded, picked up her purse off of the dresser and walked out of her bedroom.

After locking up the house, she looked around to see Ben and Tuck running around the front yard. The six-foot Ben was trying to hide between their cars, staying low as Tuck chased. Miranda smiled. They were having so much fun. She went to her car and pulled out Tuck's booster seat. Once they were ready to go, Ben turned on the radio. Tuck danced and squirmed in the backseat as the music played. The trip to the recreation center in Bellevue was only supposed to take twenty minutes at the most, but they spent an additional fifteen minutes in traffic. "Am I going to miss my game?" Tuck asked. His face was full of concern and he looked adorable.

"We'll—" Miranda started.

"You will make it to your game on time, Tuck. I promise. Even if I have to put you on my back," Ben said looking at the boy in the rearview mirror, making him laugh. They finally arrived at the rec center. The parking lot was overflowing. Ben let them out at the front and he went to find parking. Tuck's team took the court and started to warm up. Tuck was the youngest on his 8 and under basketball team. On his traveling team, the skill level of the players was pretty much elite. Tuck got a few minutes, but definitely not as much as he did on his other team. The coach kept him on the team so that he could gain experience. Miranda told all of this to Ben as the game started. He put his arm around her waist and moved it only to clap and gesture rowdily at the officials. At halftime, with the score being tied at 20, Ben got up and went to get them some food from the concession stand. Miranda watched her son; she could see that he was starting to zone out of the game because he hadn't gotten in yet. She wanted to go and give her son a pep talk, but she didn't want to lose their great seats. She looked around for Ben; he should have been back by now. Her eyes landed on him, he was standing on the sideline talking to her son. Her eyes squinted and she tried to read Ben's lips. When Ben walked away from Tuck, Tuck had a smile on his face. "That line was long as hell, Miranda," Ben said kissing her cheek.

"Mmmhm… what did you say to him?"

"To Tuck?" She nodded. "I just told him that he shouldn't get discouraged. And to stay positive." Ben pulled out a pack of gum and held the pack out for her.

Miranda took a piece and folded it into her mouth. "Thanks."

"For what?" He said as the officials blew their whistles.

"For the gum. And for talking to Tuck."

"I remember being that kid at the end of the bench, getting water for everyone," he said putting his arm back around her body. She leaned into him and he kissed the top of her head. "Look!" He pointed towards the game.

Miranda erected her posture and looked to where Ben was pointing; Tuck was running out onto the court. A chorus of "Awwws" came from the bleachers as the three year old strolled onto the court confidently. Miranda started clapping loudly. Her child looked like an ant among lions on the court. The first time on defense, he defended a boy a foot taller than him. Tuck tipped the ball away from the kid and Tuck's teammate ran to get, making an easy layup. With Tuck in the game, the Knights went up by 10 points. Near the end of the game, Tuck's team was ahead by 5. "3, 2, 1!" The buzzer sounded and the game was over. Ben and Miranda high-fived. They turned around and high-fived the other parents in the stands. Once the bleachers emptied, they sat down and waited for Tuck to be finished.

He ran over to them, sweat pouring down his face. Miranda made a mental note to buy him a headband. "We won!"

"I know!" Miranda said wiping a space on his forehead free of sweat and kissing him. "You were great. Great defense!" She hugged him. She was so proud of him, she wanted to cry.

"Coach said I was why we beat the other team," Tuck said. He smiled a big smile.

"Your coach is right," Ben said. "I'd say you were the MVP of that game." Miranda nodded in agreement.

They didn't see a man approach them. "Dr. Bailey, right?" The guy said. Miranda looked up to see Tuck's traveling team coach, Donald Brooks. A very young and enthusiastic Black man.

"Yes. Coach Brooks," Miranda held out her hand.

"Call me Donnie." Miranda smiled. "Um, I sent Tucker a message. The second game was postponed until next weekend. So, I thought I'd take the team to Jump Heaven." Miranda saw Tuck's face light up. "As a treat. You know, they played really well today."

"Yes!" Tuck shouted.

"What's Jump Heaven?" Miranda asked.

"Oh, it's an indoor trampoline arena," Donnie said. He glanced at Ben quickly.

"And Donnie, this is my boyfriend, Ben. Ben, this is Donnie, Tuck's coach."

"Great game, man," Ben said as they shook hands.

"All thanks to this guy here," Donnie answered rubbing Tuck's head. Miranda laughed. "So yeah, Jump Heaven? You guys in? I'm asking because I need to call ahead and tell them how many are coming."

"Okay. Well, how—'

"Don't worry. It's on me," Donnie answered.

"Then if Tuck wants to go…"

"Yes!" Tuck said kissing her cheek. "Please, mommy!"

She looked over at Ben who cocked his head and raised an eyebrow. "I guess we're going to Jump Heaven."

"Nice!" Donnie said putting his hands in his pockets. "You can follow us over." The coach walked away.

Miranda turned to Tuck. "This is not your bag. Go and find the one with your name in it. One of your teammates probably picked it up by accident." Tuck ran towards his teammates. She watched as the kids looked through the bags and sorted everything out. Tuck ran back over and the three of them walked out of the gym. Tuck ran ahead a little. "Stay close, William George!" Ben took her hand and squeezed it. Miranda smiled. "And you," Miranda said looking at Ben out of the corners of her eyes. "I'm sure you have other things to do on this fine Sunday. Better things. And it's okay with me, and with Tuck, if you go and do those things." She stopped walking. "It's important to me that you don't feel obligated to hang around me and my child all day. I don't want to—I don't want to stop you from doing your own thing."

"I am good," Ben responded simply. "I don't have anywhere to be other than where I am now. Now if you want me to go, just say that."

"I don't."

"Perfect. So I'll continue to hold your hand." He leaned in to kiss her cheek and then her lips quickly. "And another thing."

"Hmm?"

"I'm not just 'hanging around' with you guys. I'm building a relationship with you and creating a bond with Tuck." Miranda licked her lips. "If you're doing that because you want me to want to kiss you, it's working." She laughed as Ben kissed her lips, sliding his arms around her waist. Her arms positioned themselves around his neck.

"Eww! Mommy! Ben!" Tuck said. Miranda and Ben opened their eyes and looked down at the boy. "Kissing is gross."

"It's not!" Miranda said with a smile.

"It's how I show your mom that I love her," Ben said as they got into the car.

As they followed the long line of cars, Tuck asked: "How do my mommy show you that she loves you?"

"Well, she, uh—" At a red light, Ben looked at Miranda and winked. She rolled her eyes and shook her head. "She kisses me and hugs me and she even told me one time."

Her mouth dropped open. "I told you twice."

"Just two times!" Tuck laughed. "That's not enough."

"You just shush!" Miranda said turning around and making a face at her son.

"I agree, buddy," Ben said turning down a street. "I don't even know if she really loves me!" Miranda shot a look at her boyfriend. He took one hand off of the wheel and reached out for her. She moved closer to her door. "It's like that?" He asked.

Miranda didn't answer. "She loves you, Ben. Right, mommy?" Tuck said. She nodded. "You have to say it to him." Tuck stopped talking. "Tell him!"

"Okay. Okay," Miranda said holding up both hands. "I love you, Ben Warren." Her hands went to her hot cheeks.

"Was that so hard?" Ben said out of the corner of his mouth.

"Yes, mommy! Was that so hard?" Tuck echoed.

"Hey! You're supposed to be on my side," Miranda told him.

"I am!" Tuck said giggling loudly. Arriving at Jump Heaven, Tuck hopped out of the car and ran inside.

As Miranda started to get out of the car, her phone rang. It was Tucker. "Hello?"

"Hey, Mandy."

"Tucker," Miranda said.

"I'm on my way to Jump Heaven. Donnie texted me."

"H-how'd it go?"

"I think I'm on track to being promoted."

"That's good."

"Yeah."

"So I'll see you when you get here," she told him wrapping up the conversation. He said that he would and she disconnected the call. Ben and Miranda walked inside of the trampoline arena.

"Do you want to stay?" Ben asked her.

"Yes, sure." She hoped that he couldn't hear the lie in her voice. She did want to stay and watch her son enjoy himself, but she also wanted to go home and relax a little bit more before she had to go back to the hospital the next morning. "Do you?"

"Um, not really." Ben leaned closer to her. "I'd much rather be watching a movie with my girl." Ben put a suggestive hand on her lower back.

"Great! Then as soon as Tucker gets here, we can go." Ben nodded firmly. Miranda slipped out of his grasp and wandered off. Through the crowd of people taking off their shoes, she could see her child interacting with his older counterparts. There was something to be said about his maturity level. He just felt so comfortable around kids who were a little older. Miranda stared at him and caught his attention. She waved him over and explained that she and Ben would be leaving when his father showed up.

"Daddy!"

"Yes, when your daddy gets here," she said nodding.

"No, daddy is behind you," Tuck said pointing.

Miranda turned around and saw Tucker coming in through the door. She smiled at her son. "Oh! Right. Well, then. Give me a kiss and go back to your friends. I'll see you tomorrow." Tuck stood on his toes and hugged her. She kissed the top of head. Tuck ran away, catching up to his teammates. Her heart ached a little as Tuck left without looking back. There used to be a time when he would cry when he had to leave or when she left. Now—She felt a hand on her shoulder bringing her to her reality. She could tell from the weight of the hand that it was Tucker's and not Ben's. She tried to remember Tucker's best qualities and not the ones he'd displayed earlier.

"Mandy," Tucker said.

Her eyes found his. "Hello, Tucker."

Miranda looked up to see Ben walking towards them. "Miranda?"

"Yeah?" She answered.

"Is everything alright, baby?" Ben said putting an arm around her waist.

Tucker looked taken aback. "Can we talk?" Tucker asked lowering his voice.

Miranda gestured at Ben. "Well, Ben and I were just about to leave."

"That's cool, but I really… I just really need to talk to you," Tucker said looking from Ben to Miranda.

"Miranda?" Ben said.

"It's okay." She inhaled. Part of her was thinking: _Absolutely not._ She didn't owe him anything, especially after what he'd said to her. The other half was thinking that she should give him a chance. Miranda bumped her body gently against her boyfriend's. She looked up briefly to see a small smile cross his face. Ben walked away. "Uh, sure, Tucker." Tucker nodded and ushered her to an unexpectedly quiet place near a few vending machines. Miranda sat down on the bench in front of the machines. "So?"

Tucker put a hand up. "I am—I'm not like that." She pulled her bottom lip into her mouth. "You know me." She nodded. "You know how I really am. The… the real me. I was just stressed and out of my mind. And I'm sorry. I tried to take advantage of your graciousness and I got carried away. It was mistake." Miranda watched him; sure that he would scratch his head. Then, she'd be able to catch him in a lie. But he didn't move a muscle. "I know you're with Ben. And you two really like each other."

"I love him," Miranda responded. She spoke confidently.

Tucker's eyes flickered. He breathed deeply. "Yes, of course. And you love him and that was my fault. I wanted to get you back, but I'm sorry. Especially if I caused any wrinkles in your relationship." Miranda fidgeted with her cell phone to keep from smiling. When she looked back at the man in front of her, she was relieved. She was glad that he finally understood that she'd moved on, glad that he finally understood that she was happy and hoped that he knew that she wished him happiness, too. It wasn't easy to find, but when you found it, it was the most remarkable feeling. Tucker's eyes landed on her and then he gave a head nod to someone behind her. She twisted her body. "Ben. Man, I don't know you, but you have some pretty big balls stepping to me like that." Ben didn't show any emotion. Tucker sighed. "And if Miranda loves you and Tuck loves you, then you must be a pretty great guy." Ben smiled, throwing his head back a little. Tucker stood up and shook hands with Ben. She compared the men. Both were about the same complexion. Ben, while shorter, was just as muscular as Tucker. Also, they both had facial hair and Ben's was neatly trimmed and Tucker had taken the time to shave and looked a lot younger and less wild than he did before. "Mandy?" The sound of Tucker's voice made her look around. What part of the conversation had she missed? "So, I'll drop the boy off at school tomorrow and you'll pick him up?"

"Yes."

"Good."

"And about the other thing we talked about."

"It's water under the thing or whatever," Miranda said quickly, waving her hand. Tucker and Ben laughed her. Tucker held out her arms and she walked into them. He held her for a second before releasing her. He smiled, turned on his heels and was gone.

"What was that all about?" Ben asked as soon as Tucker was out of ear shot.

"Letting bygones be bygones," she told him. "And I think we just unofficially got divorced." The conversation that she and Tucker had was a declaration of their divorce. She had moved on and he needed to do the same. She didn't say anymore because the rest was irrelevant. And Ben didn't pry, which she really appreciated. He put his arm around her neck as they walked back to the car. In the car, she said: "So w-what are you doing for the rest of the day?"

"Hanging with my lady," he answered as he deftly pulled out of the park.

"You can go home."

Ben nodded. "Not this again," he grumbled.

"So—"

Ben pulled checked his mirrors and stopped the car in front of a pizza shop. He put on his hazard lights. He took his hands off of the wheel and put them on his thighs. "Do you want me to leave, Miranda?" His voice was more than icy.

"No, Ben," she said facing him. He gave her a second. "I just don't want you to feel…" She stopped talking. How was she going to finish her sentence in a way that didn't make her sound absolutely insane?

"Trapped?" He offered.

Miranda licked her lips. "Something along those lines."

"I don't feel trapped," he said.

"Good."

"But if you want me to go home, say that. I can't read your mind."

Miranda spoke softly: "I-I… I don't."

"Good. Am I overwhelming you with my presence?" He asked raising an eyebrow.

She nodded and watched his face fall. "But I like it." Miranda grabbed his hand. Ben touched her face, running his thumb across her lips. He made a small noise before he put his hands back on the wheel, concentrating on the road.

"I know you can't compare eras," Miranda said as she unlocked the door to her house. "But Magic and Bird would be game-changers in any era. They're the best."

"True. So you don't think Lebron's skills would translate in the 80s or 90s?" Ben asked closing the door behind them. They'd been talking basketball as they made their way back to her house. Each of them was carrying a bag of groceries. Going into the kitchen, they continued the conversation. "He wouldn't make a difference?"

"I mean, he's an… he's an ox, but he'd crack under that 80s pressure. Every team was good, not just a few good teams here and there." Ben nodded, conceding her point. Miranda put her bag on the table. They'd gone to the supermarket and picked up some ground beef, buns and cheese. Burgers were on the menu. They were her favorite thing to eat and make. She turned on the stove and began heating up the pan. Miranda sorted through the bags and pulled out the needed ingredients. Ben had gone to the bathroom. As she mixed up the ground beef with her favorite seasonings, she molded them and was about to drop them into the hot pan when she heard her cell phone ringing from her purse in the living room. Apollo 440. Miranda took a deep breath.

"It's the hospital," Ben said bringing her the phone.

She wiped her hands and took it from him. "Bailey."

"Uh, Dr. Bailey?"

"What is it, Karev?" Miranda looked over at Ben who just smiled and shook his head.

"The Shelley boy."

"Michael."

"He's refusing to have the gastrectomy. He's thinking about leaving the hospital today. The nurses are getting him the AMA form right now. His sisters are freaking out. They demanded that I call you."

Miranda put her head down. "I'll be there shortly."

"You're coming in?" Karev asked. He sounded so surprised.

"Do I have a choice?"

"He's old enough. You can let the dumb kid make the decision himself."

"Exactly," Miranda said turning off the stove.

"Exactly what?"

"He's just a kid." She disconnected the call and started to put the raw meat in the refrigerator. The burgers would have to wait. She didn't really mind that, she'd just eaten breakfast not too long ago. Quality time with her boyfriend would have to wait as well. And that she did mind. Miranda didn't know when she'd get to spend that much uninhibited time with Ben. She sighed deeply. "I have to go in," she said through gritted teeth. She didn't mind helping her patients; to the contrary, she loved helping them. She'd given up so much for past patients and ones she hadn't even met yet. But, today, she just wanted to be in the company of her boyfriend. To stare at him and feel him and be touched by him. She swallowed. "I know we have plans—"

"Your patients are important. I understand that."

Miranda let out a small laugh. "You're not mad?"

"Why would I be mad? You're practically a superhero." Ben smiled at her. She returned it. She moved closer to him, settling her arms around his waist. He leaned down to kiss her, his tongue sliding stealthily into her mouth. He put his fingers on her belt loops and drew her body closer. She felt his hands eased down her butt. He grabbed her butt and pushed her into the wall of her kitchen. She moaned deeply as he began kissing down her body.

"No, no, no, no, no," she said quickly. Her hands pushed him away.

"Just one more," he said kissing her chest and then her neck. Ben turned her around and placed his arms on the wall in front of her. Then, he placed kisses behind her ear. Miranda shuddered, goose bumps forming on her body.

"Alright," she whined, spinning back around in his arms. "I really have to go."

"I'll come with you."

She shook her head. "You stay here. I'll be back."

"You trust me alone in your house?" Ben asked with a smirk.

Miranda closed her eyes for a second, a smile etching across her face. "Yes, I do."

He nodded. "Do you want me to get started on the burgers?"

"You can."

"So noncommittal." Ben shook his head at her. "But I am a little tired, someone kept me up all night long." She scoffed. "So, do you mind if I sleep on your bed?"

"Sure," Miranda responded looking at the time. She really needed to go. "Um, so, yeah. I shall be back."

Miranda kissed his cheek and left. On her way to the hospital, her mother called. She answered the call through her Bluetooth system. "Hello?" Her mother's voice said flooding her car.

"Hey, Momma," Miranda turning onto the highway. "How have you been?"

"I've been good."

"How was church?"

"Oh! Church was great! Pastor talked about living by faith in an uncertain world."

Miranda nodded. "Amen."

"Watch it, girl," her mother said.

Miranda laughed to herself. "Sorry, momma."

"He asked about you, too."

Miranda scrunched up her face. "Who? The pastor?"

"Yes, Pastor. He remembers you and he always asks how you're doing." Miranda pulled into the parking lot of the hospital. "I keep telling him that you're too busy to come and visit your folks. And that it's gonna take one of us dying before you get your hind parts back on this side of the country."

"Momma!" Miranda said laughing. "Please don't say that! I will get out there as soon as I can, but you guys can come and see me and Tuck anytime." She nodded. Saying that put the ball in their court. It would be more convenient for her if her parents visited her instead of her flying out there to them.

"Yeah, sure," her mother said sarcastically. "So you can ignore us while you doctor people?"

"Elena! Is that our long-lost daughter?" Miranda heard her father ask.

She smiled widely and got out of the car. "Hi, Daddy."

"Hey, baby!" William said.

"Daddy, tell your wife that you two should get out here."

"Are you inviting us?"

"Yes," Miranda said walking through the automatic doors.

"Alright then. I'll see what we can do."

"Okay. I have to go. I love you guys." They said that they loved her, too. Miranda quickly changed into her navy blue scrubs and headed towards the Shelley's room. She caught her resident, Alex Karev, right outside of the door.

"Dr. Bailey," he said holding out the chart for her.

"Karev. What are you doing on this case?"

"Grey and Yang are both with Altman fixing some guy's heart," Alex responded bitterly. Miranda nodded.

"Where's Michael?"

"Right here," a deep voice said. The surgeons turned around to see a tired young man. "Hey… Dr. Bailey."

"Michael," she said gesturing him inside of the room. Michael was dressed in a loose pair of blue jeans and a black t-shirt. "How are you doing?"

"Honestly, Dr. Bailey, I'm ready to go home." She smiled a little. "Can I go home?"

"You're over the age of 18. You can sign the papers, go home and live a, eh, somewhat normal life."

"But?"

"Look, you know the consequences. Your sister has been preaching to you about your family's condition and—"

"You're here to change my mind."

"Oh, no! I'm here to make sure that you're making the right decision. For you."

Michael pointed at Karev. "This guy told me that if I don't have the surgery, I could drop dead; that the cancer would eventually eat me up inside."

Miranda shot a glaring look to her resident who looked away sheepishly, his face red. "Truth is, Michael, you could fall seriously ill at your next fraternity meeting or while you're at the gym."

"Or on your operating table."

"Or on my table," she repeated. Miranda looked him in the eyes. She wanted to know how sincere she was. "But I promise—I promise that I will do my very best."

Michael licked his lips and stared at her. "I'm scared." She nodded. "But don't tell my sisters that."

Karev scoffed. "Dude, they already know."

Miranda smiled and shook her head, looking at Michael who had a smile on his own face. "And you'll take good care of my sisters if…" His voice trailed off.

"Let me just focus on you, okay?" She asked him.

Michael nodded and scooted back on the bed, laying back. "Cut me open, Dr. Bailey."

She moved around the bed and touched his hand. "Alright. We'll schedule it for tomorrow morning." He nodded, a tear falling from his eyes onto the hospital bed. She walked out of the room with Karev behind her. "Um, watch over him tonight."

"Okay," the resident answered with a grimace.

"Pay attention to his mental state, please?" Usually she was demanding of her residents. The work that they did was of the utmost importance. She was the best, which made them the best. But sometimes a little gentleness didn't hurt. "And be nice." Karev give a tiny smile, took the file she was holding and walked away. Miranda took a very, deep breath and headed back towards the attending locker room. Miranda pulled off her shirt when her pager beeped loudly. She knew that sound. There was an emergency and all hands were needed. She slipped back into her shirt, grabbed her lab coat and jogged out of the locker room, checking her phone. Ben had sent her a couple of text messages saying that he'd gotten the message about the emergency, he was on his way to the hospital and wanted to know how should he lock the door. _I have a spare key in the kitchen taped to the side of the refrigerator._ Miranda pulled her hair back and put on her light blue, floral-printed scrub cap. She listened to the instructions of Chief Webber while cracking her knuckles. It seemed like such a long time that she'd been in an OR and she was ready for some action.

"Next!" Miranda said coming out of her OR. She'd just finished with a patient who was being wheeled to the recovery wing of the hospital. An accident at a local construction site caused multiple traumas and there seemed to be almost as many patients as there surgeons to help them. She looked down the hallway and saw Richard handing out orders. "Chief! I'm finished. Next patient." She pulled off her facemask and stared at him, waiting for her next instructions.

"Great," he said looking over at Patricia, his assistant, who was holding a clipboard with patients' name on them. "Last patient is OR 3, Seven Williams. He's got peritonitis, probably from a perf in the bowel." Miranda nodded and listened intently. "Head CT shows a probable TBI. Neuro has been called for a consult."

"Yes, sir," she said walking across the hall to her next patient.


	12. You've Got It Bad Girl

**You've Got It Bad Girl**

"And we're all done," Miranda said aloud more to herself than to anyone else. "Care to close, Grey?"

"Yes, Dr. Bailey."

"Excellent." Miranda scrubbed out and walked off to find her mentor. He was standing by the nurse's station. "Um, Chief?"

"Mm, Bailey," he said without looking up.

"Are there any more patients?" She asked secretly hoping that her smooth-turned-wild day would be over.

He looked over at his assistant. She nodded slightly. "You're free to go."

"Thank you, Chief." She turned on her heels.

"But I think your boyfriend is in OR 1," he said to her back. Miranda stopped walking, her face reddening.

"Thank you, Chief."

"He asked about you, er, a little over an hour ago," Richard said. Miranda still hadn't turned around, but she imagined that he was pulling his glasses off of his face. "He told me to tell you that he'd meet you back at your house."

Miranda coughed and moved away from the conversation quickly. She went back to the locker room and put back on her street clothes. She checked her phone again. Ben had sent her a text message hours ago: **I shouldnt be too long so Ill meet you back at your house?**

She sent him a message back: _Okay. Ill start the burgers._

Miranda sat in her car, hungry and more than slightly tired. She turned the key of her car and headed back to her house. Wine. That's what she needed. In the house, she took off her sweater and poured herself a glass of wine while she put on the burgers. She flipped them before pulling out a bun. She didn't want to start eating without Ben, but if she didn't get some food in her stomach, she was going to pass out. It smelled so good. Miranda slid a burger onto a bun, putting a piece of cheese on top. She could practically taste it. From the kitchen, she heard the doorknob to her front door jiggle. Miranda stood up and walked towards it. The door opened and Ben walked in. Such elation washed over her as she watched him close the door. For a second she imagined a future in which he unlocked the door to their house every night. And in which they were just as happy as they'd ever been. He looked as exhausted as she felt. Miranda grinned as he hugged her tightly. "I was just about to eat without you, Ben Warren," she said kissing his cheek.

"You could have. I would have forgiven you." They went into the kitchen and Miranda fixed their burgers, adding salad to their plates. "Thank you." She said a quick prayer before they dove into their food. They ate in silence before Ben spoke: "This is so good."

"Thanks, baby" she said blushing.

"Your bed is awfully comfortable."

"Thanks, but you already knew that."

"Even, uh, even without sheets or covers."

Miranda put a hand to her forehead. "Jeez, Ben! Sorry! Yeah. I... totally forgot."

Ben laughed and held out his hand across the table. Miranda took it and walked around the table. He pulled her into his lap. She leaned down to kiss him. "Apology accepted."

"So where did you sleep?"

"Well, I only got about an hour in, but I slept on the bed."

Miranda dropped her head onto his shoulder. "I'm embarrassed."

"Why?"

"Because I'm the girlfriend who forgot to put sheets on the bed so her boyfriend would be comfortable."

"Trust me; I was very, very comfortable." Ben kissed her arm. She moved from his lap and walked out of the room. "Where're you going?" Ben called from the kitchen. Miranda ignored him and kept walking. She went up the stairs. She went to the closet in the hallway and pulled out a set of sheets and a comforter. "I'll help you with that." Ben's voice startled her and she dropped what she was holding onto the floor. He reached down and picked it up handing her the huge comforter while he took the sheets.

She dropped the comforter on the floor as he fanned the sheets on the bed. "Thanks for helping me with the bed."

"Well, it's partly my fault that it's naked in the first place."

"Yeah," she scoffed. "Partly." Miranda crawled across the bed, hooking on the fitted sheet.

"Love the view," Ben said. She waved him off. When they finished with the sheets, she grabbed the comforter, wrapped it around her body and fell onto the bed. Ben moved closer to her. "Are you going to share that?"

"No."

"Fine."

"What time do you go in tomorrow?"

"Bright and early. 8 o'clock in the morning. You?"

"Same." Miranda unraveled herself from the covers. She threw some of it over Ben.

"Thanks." Ben rolled to her side of the bed. He pushed his warm body against hers, his strong arms embracing her. She shuddered. "You're good?" She nodded. Ben kissed the back of her neck, running a hand across her hip and down her side to her thigh. She bumped her body into his, making him groan in her ear. Miranda bit her bottom lip and bumped him again. "You'd better stop," he managed to get out.

"Or what?" She answered.

"Nothing," Ben said casually. He continued to hold her. Miranda poked her lips out. That's not how it was supposed to go. She had been trying to bait him and had failed. What she wanted was to make love to him again. She smirked to herself. But she didn't want to say that out loud. What would he think of her? Probably that she was some kind of sex maniac. She wanted him to just know that she wanted to feel him and want the same thing. She stayed quiet, absorbed in her thoughts. "What are you thinking about?" Ben asked yawning.

"Just… thinking about the day," she lied.

"Anything else?" She gathered some courage and turned around to face him. Now wasn't the time to be coy. Her body needed him, she wanted to feel the same way she'd felt last night. She needed to know that it wasn't a onetime sensation. Miranda kissed him passionately. She felt his chest, his heart beating out a rhythm on her palms. "Woah," he said after she pulled away. "Forgive me."

"For what?" She asked tucking hair behind her ear.

He smiled a little. "For the very bad thoughts that I'm thinking."

"And they are?" She asked. She was beyond turned on.

"There are still some things I want to do to you." Miranda started to speak and Ben put a finger to her lips. "But I know that we have plenty of time, that's why I'm trying to have some patience." Miranda shook her head. "No?" He asked his eyes widening.

"I mean, we have time, but I've spent enough time waiting and being patient." That felt good to say. It was a relief to be honest about how she felt about him. She wasn't used to holding back and was getting used to sharing her thoughts with Ben.

"Okay." Ben nodded a little and kissed her deeply. He reached behind her and lifted up her shirt. His cold hands on her back made her jump. "Cold?"

"Yes!"

"Let me warm you up," he said. He moved between her legs and helped her to a sitting position. Miranda's desire for Ben was so strong, she felt a tugging in her stomach and her legs were turning to jelly. He pulled off her shirt and unsnapped her bra. He tossed it across the room. Miranda watched it flutter to the floor. With his help, Miranda pulled his shirt off, too, and stared at his chiseled chest. Her fingers ran across every ab. Her body was throbbing. Ben unfastened her jeans, pushed them down and pulled them off along with her panties. His hands touched her thighs moving her closer. Ben got off of the bed and dropped his jeans. He reached into her drawer and pulled out a condom and put it on. She couldn't wait anymore and got off of the bed as well. She stood on her toes and kissed him, feeling him rise against her. He rubbed her back and put his hands under her butt. In one quick movement, he sat her on top of her nightstand.

Miranda felt her heart nearly exploded. There was so much adrenaline pumping in her body. She gasped as he inserted himself into her, rocking the dresser back. It hit the wall, probably leaving more than a few marks on her wall, but she didn't care. The connection that was occurring was worth it. "Yes, Ben!" She crooned, putting her arms around his torso, feeling the muscles in his back contract as he made love to her. Slowly and Fiercely. Miranda's back was against her wall and her legs were wrapped around his body, pulling him deeper. She touched him in every place she could get her hands. Ben kissed her neck. When his beard rubbed against her skin, it made all of the hairs on her entire body stand up. Miranda whined. Her hand ran across his head and she held him.

"Damn, girl!" Ben grunted. Miranda smiled into his shoulder, taking in his scent. She put her lips on his broad, muscular shoulders. "Kiss me!" He demanded. Their lips moved together hastily. His tongue traced a line down her neck and he kissed her clavicle. Miranda was breathing heavily as he kissed her breasts. Ben bit her nipples gently, enhancing her climax.

Her lips found his again. She opened her mouth wide and screamed into his mouth. "Ahhhhh, Ben! Shi-yesss!" He chuckled as he sped up, thrusting in and out of her and making the nightstand rock back and forth. Miranda was sweating and her sweat mixed with Ben's. Ben touched the back of her neck, gently pulling at her hair; her head going backwards. "Ohhh! Myy! God!"

"Unh-huh!" Ben growled, kissing her throat tenderly.

She reached down and stroked him a few times before he came, screaming out several obscenities into her chest.

Miranda licked her lips once and smiled. "I love you," she said quietly in a raspy voice.

Ben gave her a weird look before grinning. "I love you, too." He kissed her again, softly.

He dropped his hands to her butt and squeezed. She squealed as he lifted her up, still inside of her and moved her to the bed. She bounced a little as he dropped her on the mattress. "And, now, you don't even have to change your sheets." Her mouth fell open as he laughed. She hit his chest. Ben climbed on top of her and looked into her eyes, kissing her chin. "No more tears?"

She closed her eyes. One thing that she didn't want to be was reminded of was when she cried after sex, the tears coming down her face after her body had felt pure pleasure. "Shut. Up. Ben Warren." Miranda pushed him off of her and turned on her side. Their heads were on opposite ends of the bed.

"I'm just saying, the first time we made love, you cried," he said resting his head on her butt. She ran fingers across his hair.

She could feel him staring at her; she stayed quiet. Ben thought she was asleep. Miranda felt her cheeks get hot and she smiled. "I know you're not talking."

"What?" He asked sleepily.

"I saw a tear in your eye, too," she said lying on her back. Ben's head fell on her thighs. She reached out and stroked his cheek. Sometimes it was still so unbelievable that the man she'd once had a small crush on was in her bed, holding her and making love to her.

"No."

"Uh, yes!"

He kissed a trail on her body up to her lips. "Eh, you might be right." She opened one eye. "Hey, you made me feel good, too." Miranda closed her eye and kissed him. She shivered and as if by the magic, the comforter covered her. She took a deep breath and yawned. "You're tired. Maybe I should go so you can get some rest."

Miranda's mind was spinning. She wanted to tell him not to go. And even though it'd only been one night, she'd gotten used to sleeping in his arms. "Don't go. Please," she answered. "We can put on a movie."

Ben nodded. "You like me," he sang.

"Shut up," Miranda said again, smiling. She grabbed the remote off of her nightstand and pointed it at the TV, turning it on. She held it out for Ben to take.

"You pick something, beautiful," he told her stretching. Miranda snuggled up next to him and flipped through the channels finally landing on _Enemy of the State._ "This is a good movie." She nodded and relaxed in Ben's arms.

"How was surgery?" She asked.

"Oh, yeah, a guy fell from the third story of the site."

"Ooo!"

"Yeah, he kept coding. And Altman couldn't keep his heart going long enough for Shepherd to perform the craniotomy."

"Damn."

"Yeah." Ben's fingers played with her arm. "What about you?"

"A teenager, first day on the job. A lady on her way to work and the site's foreman."

"Wow."

"I know. And thus, I am exhausted."

Ben took the remote from her hands and turned the TV off. He tossed the remote to the edge of the bed. "Let's get some rest, then."

"Okay." Miranda inhaled deeply and exhaled in the darkness. Her mind was filling with all sorts of thoughts like it usually did before she went to sleep. But the main ones were about her relationship with Ben. She wondered how long would they last? Even though Tucker had apologized for his wacky behavior, the idea that she'd push Ben away still haunted her. She wasn't keeping him at a distance anymore, but how long could she keep him interested? He was a doctor so he understood long days and even longer nights, but how many dates could she miss before he started to get frustrated? So deep into her thoughts, she didn't hear him speaking to her.

"Baby?"

"Yeah? Yeah. Sorry."

He smiled. "I'm going to go down and clean the kitchen."

"I'll do it in the morning."

"No, you cooked. I got it. I'll be back." He started to move away from her and she grabbed his arm. "Yes?" He winked. He knew why she was holding onto him. "I promise, I'm coming right back." He kissed her chin and rolled out of the bed. He picked up his t-shirt and tossed it at her.

"I already have one of your t-shirts."

"Put it on, woman!" He growled with a smirk. Miranda loved to boss people around, but, and she wouldn't admit it to just anyone, there was something about being bossed around in the bedroom. It turned her on and made her feel sexy. She smirked and did as she was told. "When we get married and I tell you that I'd give you the shirt off of my back, I hope you remember that I already did." Miranda stared at him in disbelief. "What?" She continued to stare. "Did I say something wrong?"

"Y-you… you said _when_ ," she told him. He was still confused. "You said _when_ _we get married_."

"Well, I didn't mean that it's set in stone or anything, uh, or expected—" She frowned. "But, you know… and now you think I'm backtracking." Ben put his hands to his head and climbed back into the bed. He touched her shoulders. "I'm not saying that we have to get married or that we won't." He sighed and Miranda laughed at his blabbering. "Don't…"

She started laughing and when she started, she couldn't stop. Tears streamed from her eyes. Ben laughed as well and their laughter shook the bed. "I knew what you meant.." She put on the shirt. "Go and clean my kitchen please." Ben nodded and kissed her cheek and walked out of the door. Miranda pulled the covers up to her neck and turned on her side. She felt so relaxed. A smile crossed her face as she fell into a deep and peaceful sleep. She didn't hear Ben come back into the room or whisper her name before he fell asleep himself, but she felt him, felt his presence and her body softened as his arms wrapped themselves around her. She was satisfied.


	13. Can't Be Messing Around

**Can't Be Messing Around**

Miranda Bailey was in such a great mood. She blasted her music with the windows down, singing loudly, from her house to the hospital. Every song seemed to be a love song. And every one reminded her of Ben. She grabbed her pocketbook from the backseat before she walked into the hospital. With some pep in her step, she headed towards the elevator. The universe felt her bliss and she reached the elevator just in time for the doors to open back up to let her on. "Hello," she said stepping on, looking into the faces of two of her colleagues, Dr. Derek Shepherd, Head of Neurology and Dr. Mark Sloan, Head of Plastic Surgery. The three surgeons were silent as the doors closed. " _And I'll hold you tight_ ," she sang softly. The music in her heart flowed out of her. " _Mmmm…_ "

She didn't see them exchange confused glances. "What song is that? I know that song?" Shepherd asked. He was so nosy.

Miranda was glad that they couldn't see the smile that she was unable to hide. She was usually known for being a serious professional, especially at the hospital. "Oh, just… a little… something… stuck in my head. You know how it is." She most certainly wasn't going to tell them that the Boyz II Men song she was singing held every essence of her recent nights with Ben. Thinking about him, warmed her heart. The elevator bell sounded and the doors opened. "You both have a great day," she told them and headed towards the locker room.

At her locker in Seattle Grace Hospital, the same song was still on her mind. She couldn't get it out of her head. " _Baby all through the night_ ," she sang under her breath.

"Oh, I know _that_ song!" Callie said coming up behind Miranda, making her jump. "Someone got some last night." Callie put up her hand for a high-five. Miranda rolled her eyes and started to walk past her friend. She stopped and slapped her hand against Callie's. The two women made eye contact and laughed hysterically. "So you and Ben are doing… alright?" Miranda shook her head with a smile. "I'm taking that as a 'yes'."

"You can take it however you want," Miranda answered.

"Just tell me—is it good?"

"No. I mean, not 'no,' but," Miranda huffed. "Yes, okay? And that's all you're getting." She waved off the orthopedic surgeon.

"Fine, but just one more thing," Callie asked clasping her hands together.

"What is it?"

"Did he go south of the, uh, Border?"

Miranda face flushed, hard. She grinned. "Unh-uh! I am not telling you that!"

"You just did," Callie said. Her beeper went off and she rushed off giggling.

Miranda put on her lab coat on her way to see Michael Shelley. He'd finally decided to have the gastrectomy, so he was being prepped. She stopped at the Nurses' Station and came across Bokhee who was sitting behind a computer. "Ready for surgery, Dr. Bailey?" Bokhee asked.

Miranda nodded. "I'm glad we were able to convince Michael to have the surgery."

"Yeah, that's so tough. All of them having that gene."

Miranda nodded again. "Hopefully, this will help."

"I'm sure it will."

"Alright, let me get to the OR, I'll see you later." Bokhee waved and Miranda walked off. She went over the surgery in her head as she scrubbed in. She thought of questions to ask her residents. In surgery, Karev stood on the opposite side of the table and suctioned, answering every question correctly. He would be alright. "Good job," she told him as she watched him close.

"Thank you, Dr. Bailey." They scrubbed out and Miranda walked to the Attending lounge. She needed a small snack before she continued her day. Miranda smiled when she looked through the window on the door and saw that it was nearly empty. One person was sitting alone at a table looking at their phone. Ben. Her heart skipped a beat and suddenly she felt so giddy. She couldn't stop smiling. It had only been a couple hours since he'd left her house after their night tonight. Miranda felt her own phone vibrate and picked it up. "Hello," she said bubbly. Miranda put her hand on the knob and looked through the window again. As it turned out, Ben wasn't alone. He was having a lively conversation with a woman. Miranda was sure that she recognized the woman. Her navy blue scrubs signified that she was an Attending, but Miranda couldn't remember which department. And why was she sitting so close to her boyfriend? Miranda twisted her lips to the side. The woman was thin and light-skinned. She had short black hair that was exquisitely cut. She looked vaguely like Halle Berry. She was pretty. _Pretty_. There was a time when Miranda felt inferior to other girls and women. Then she'd found her confidence and slight cockiness which boosted her self-esteem. She'd also realized that she was just as attractive as the girls she secretly hated for being, what everyone else called, pretty. Plus, her parents had always told her that she was beautiful. Tucker had always found her alluring. And it was no secret that Ben was fascinated with _all_ of her physical features. So, it had been a long time since Miranda had felt less beautiful than the next woman. It was overwhelming.

"Miranda?" Someone was calling her. She turned around and saw no one. "Miranda Bailey?"

"Yes!" She said, aggravated to the person on the phone. Her eyes were plastered to the glass, staring at the scene unfolding in the lounge. Ben was chuckling and the woman—Aaliyah! The name popped into her head. Dr. Aaliyah Simpson, Cardiology. She tried to listen to the voice on the other end, but the voice was getting muted by the sound of the thoughts going through her head. "I'll… I'll have to call you back later." Miranda watched as the cardiologist touched Ben's arm. His gaze followed her touch. He smiled and looked at Dr. Simpson briefly. Miranda saw his mouth move, but she couldn't really hear what he was saying. She closed her eyes to heighten her hearing.

"How is that possible?" Ben was asking.

"I don't know," Simpson said. "I guess I spend so much time giving my patients new starts that I haven't had a chance to get one of my own."

"I am sure that there is someone out there for you." Simpson laughed, it was high and pitchy. Suited her perfectly. "He's probably right under your nose." Miranda opened her eyes and looked through the window, both doctors were smiling.

"Dr. Simpson, Cardiology to the Nurses' Station!" The intercom blared. "Dr. Simpson, Cardiology to the Nurses' Station!"

Miranda moved to the side, her back flat on the wall. And just in time, too. The door opened and Dr. Simpson strolled out of the door. The woman smiled at Miranda. Miranda gave a weak smile of her own and started to walk past the open door.

"Miranda?" Ben's voice called out. She heard a chair move across the floor. "Miranda!"

She kept walking, ignoring his voice. Something that she found very hard to do. She was glad when she bumped into her mentor. "Please tell me that you have something for me to do."

"Excuse me?" Richard pulled off his glasses.

"I'm free. I have nothing to at this moment, so do you have something for me or not?" Miranda heard the ice in her voice and quickly added: "Please."

"Sure. Um, Reginald Brown. Liver lac. OR 2. All prepped and ready to go." Miranda nodded and slipped her scrub cap on her head. "Er, is everything okay, Bailey?"

"Yeah, sure. I'm going to save a person's life. Everything is just perfect," she told him purposely pronouncing the 't'.

"Bailey."

"I am fine, Dr. Webber. If anyone asks for me, I'd like for you to keep my location a secret. Thank you." Miranda walked off before Richard could say anything else. After she scrubbed in, she stood over the open body cavity of Mr. Reginald Brown. She took a deep breath: "Scalpel." One thing about being in the OR and doing a surgery that she'd done plenty of times was the serenity and the certainty that everything would go as planned. Miranda worked quietly and diligently. Her surgical team must have sensed her mood because it was near silent except for the beeping of the monitor. Although so many thoughts about Ben and Dr. Simpson, were going through her head, she had to push them to the side to focus on patient. "Nice," Miranda said as she threw the last stitch. Her scrub nurse agreed. The surgeon went to the scrub room and jumped when she saw a shadowy figure lurking in the corner.

"We need to talk," the shadow said emerging from the darkness and revealing itself to be Ben.

"I don't have anything to say." Ben opened his mouth to respond. "I guess making love to someone is no longer an act of exclusivity." Ben scoffed. "But I understand. You want to be free. So go. Be free. And help Simpson find the perfect guy for her."

"Aaliyah is one of my good friends from college." Miranda rolled her eyes and turned on the water. "She's just having a rough time finding someone. And what kind of friend would I be if I rubbed my absolute happiness in her face?" Miranda ran her tongue along the top row of her teeth to keep from smiling. "Aaliyah knows I'm dating someone."

"Have you two ever dated?"

Ben shook his head. "No."

"Why not? She's really pretty."

"She is," Ben agreed.

Miranda's heart dropped. "Oh."

"But I can't stand the sound she makes when she eats cereal," Ben said softly. He handed Miranda a towel. She laughed and tossed the towel back at him. "We thought about it, but that boundary between _friend_ and _friendlier_ wasn't one that we were willing to cross. And now even if she wanted to, I'm taken. There are no underlying feelings between the two of us."

Miranda nodded. Sometimes she wondered if she and Tucker had done the right thing by advancing their friendship and turning it to a relationship. One that was good when it was great. "I understand."

"Miranda, listen. I may smile at her and at other women; I'm just a smiley, happy person. That's all. It doesn't mean that I want to sleep with every woman I smile at, okay?" Miranda thought about what he'd just said. "You're the only woman I want to be with. You are my woman and I love you. Okay?" He asked again. "I mean it." She was listening and still hadn't responded. "Are you hearing me, Miranda? I mean it."

"I have a child and a full-time job." Ben straightened his posture. "And I'm going through a sad, exhausting, stressful, time-consuming divorce. I don't have time for games." He took a deep breath. "I mean, you understand that, right?"

"I do, baby." Her heart fluttered. "I do and I'm not—I'm not playing games. I'm in this for real." He put a hand around her waist. "Okay?"

"Okay," she said and watched for a split second as he moved in to kiss her. A small smile escaped her lips as she felt his lips on hers. She touched his back, rubbing his body slowly. Miranda's pager went off, making them separate. "Uh, I have to go."

"Can I come over later tonight?"

"Um, I don't think that's wise. I have Tuck tonight, so…" Miranda started toward the door.

Ben pulled her back. "So what?"

"So we can't do the things that we do when my son is not around."

"Miranda, I can control myself. I'm not a sex-starved animal." She shook her head a little. "Unless you want me to be."

Miranda gasped softly. "Fine," she responded. She headed for the door again. Swiftly, he moved toward her and kissed her, pushing her against the wall. She secretly hoped that there were no cameras in this scrub room. Ben's hands ran up her shirt, touching her stomach. Her body was hot and all she wanted was him. Her pager went off again. "I really have to go," she said kissing his lips, gently caressing his cheek. She slid from underneath him and left.


	14. This Everyday Love

**This Everyday Love**

"Tuck! Your mom is here to pick you up," a teacher called out. The boy popped his head up from a sea of beanbag chairs. He shelved the book that he was holding and ran over to Miranda. She smiled and kissed his head, looking him over. Nothing looked out of the ordinary. She walked to the door as he grabbed his book bag and jacket. At the car, Tuck talked nonstop from the school to their house.

She interrupted him only to ask: "What do you want to have for dinner?"

"Chicken and mac'roni and cheese." Miranda smiled into her rearview mirror. "And French toast please."

She laughed. "That is a funny combination. Are you sure?" She watched him nod. "Well, okay, then."

Back at the house, Tuck got comfortable at the kitchen table doing his homework while she started on their dinner. Miranda dropped the chicken into hot grease and heard the doorbell ring. "Can I get it?" Tuck asked.

"Ask who it is first," she told him. "And makes sure you know who it is before you open the door." He rushed to the door with Miranda following him slowly.

"Who is it?" His voice squeaked out.

"Ben!"

"Ben who?" Tuck laughed before the door.

"Ben Warren."

Tuck looked back at Miranda. She nodded. "Hi, Ben!" Her son opened the door.

"Hey, Tuck!" Ben said rubbing the boy's head. Tuck giggled. "What are you doing?"

"Homework." Miranda turned and walked back into the kitchen.

"Need some help?" She heard Ben ask Tuck.

"No. Almost done."

Tuck ran into the kitchen and sat in his seat. Ben walked over to Miranda who was stirring the macaroni and cheese and pouring it into a pan to be baked. He slid his arms around her waist. Miranda considered shrugging him off before allowing her body to be wrapped in his embrace. He kissed her cheek. "Hey, baby."

"Hey yourself," she said returning the kiss.

"Smells good in here," Ben said letting her go. He sat down in an empty chair.

Tuck looked over at him. "You want some?" Tuck asked.

"Am I invited?" Ben responded.

"Yes."

"What are we having?"

"Chicken, mac'roni and cheese and French toast."

"That sounds delicious." Ben winked at Miranda.

Tuck and Ben talked a bit more while Miranda fixed the French toast. She was glad that her son didn't mind the company of her boyfriend. "Finished!" Tuck shouted.

"Alright, leave it on the table. Go upstairs and change and I'll call you when everything is ready." Tuck ran out of the kitchen and Miranda could hear him scramble up the stairs.

"Need some help?" Ben asked her. She shook her head. "You're sure?" Miranda felt Ben move behind her again. "I have two free hands."

"Well, when you put it like that…" She turned around and looked at him. He raised his eyebrow. "Can you clear off the table and wash the dishes later? Thanks." She smiled and turned back around.

"Funny. But whatever you need," Ben responded hitting her butt and making her squeal.

When the food was ready, the three of them sat down to eat, talking loudly and having a great time. Miranda pulled herself out of the conversation and looked at her son and her boyfriend having a animated discussion that didn't include her. She smiled as she watched her son yawn, lowering his head onto the table. "No, no, no," she said laughing. "Go and get ready for bed, young sir." Tuck nodded slowly. "I'll be up to tuck you in." Ben gave him a high-five as he climbed off of his chair. Miranda really appreciated the fact that Tuck was so independent at such a young age. Miranda started to gather the empty plates on the table. Ben stood up and took them from her hands. "Thanks," she told him. She watched him and yawned loudly. "Oh! Excuse me." Ben looked back at her and smiled. "Um, you stay down here. I'm going to kiss my son goodnight." Ben nodded.

Up in her son's room, Tuck was already snoring lightly. She pulled the covers up to his neck and he moved a little. She watched him for a minute and kissed his head before closing the door a little and going back to the kitchen. She and Ben talked for while as he washed the dishes. Miranda yawned again. "Is that your way of telling me that you're tired and you want me to go home?"

She laughed and shook her head, a stray tear falling from her eye. She was tired. "No."

"Well…"

"I mean, I want you to stay, but I'm not sure that I'm c-comfortable with you spending the night with Tuck right across the hall."

"Of course," he said. "I get it." She took the hand that he was offering her. He pulled her closer to him. He put his arms around her neck and her hands went to his waist. He kissed the top of her head. "I'll see you tomorrow?" She nodded. Ben lifted her chin and kissed her deeply. She kissed him back just as hard, stroking the back of his neck. Miranda pulled away first and grinned. "Keep kissing me like that and I won't ever go home."

She laughed as they walked to the front door. She stood on her toes and kissed his cheek. "Be safe." He waved and then was gone. Upstairs in her bedroom, Miranda changed into some pajamas. She reached over to her nightstand and picked up her ringing phone. "Hello."

"Hey," Ben said smoothly.

She sat on the edge of the bed and waited for a second. Miranda took the phone away from her ear as she climbed under the covers. She got comfortable before she asked: "Was there anything else you needed?"

"Like what?" He volleyed.

"The reason you called."

"Oh."

"God, Ben Warren!" She said smiling into the phone.

"I just wanted to hear your voice, okay?"

"Stop."

"I can't say that?" He asked. Miranda could hear the distinct sound of a car door closing.

"You can… only if you mean it," she answered quietly.

"I most definitely mean it."

Miranda took a deep breath. Sometimes Ben said things that made her wonder why she'd ever looked at another man. "So, what's your real reason for calling?"

"I just wanted to call and say goodnight."

"Goodnight," she echoed.

"And to say that I really loved our weekend together."

She nodded, a cheesy grin tattooed on her face. "I loved it, too."

Ben spoke again: "Hold on, let me just-" Miranda closed her eyes and settled her head deep into her pillow. "Hello?"

"Hello again," Miranda said yawning.

"You kicked me out of your house and now you're trying to get me off of the phone."

Miranda chuckled: "I had… a day."

"Wanna tell me about it?" She inhaled. Confessing her feelings about what'd happened earlier in the day might make things awkward. "Miranda?"

"Do you really want to hear about my day? Even though it's about you?"

"Ah, baby. Especially if it's about me," Ben said. Miranda imagined him scratching his beard. He was probably lying on his sofa, his ankles crossed. She ran her fingers through her hair thinking about him. She wished he was next to her instead of being on the other side of town. Should she have allowed him to stay over?

"Uh, okay," Miranda said, stretching the words out. She lowered her voice. "I was so excited to see you after…" Her voice trailed off. "But when I saw you talking to Dr. Simpson and how buddy-buddy you were with her—." Ben started to speak, but Miranda kept going. "And while I don't think of myself of as a particularly fjealous person, I don't think it's a good trait to have, I was very jealous."

"You were?"

"Yes, I was."

"There's no need to be."

"I know that now, but—"

"You know," he said cutting her off. "That's how I felt when I first started getting close to you."

"You were jealous? Of who?" Miranda asked racking her brain for who Ben could have been jealous of. He hadn't really known about Tucker, so…

"God, this is embarrassing."

"Just spill it!" Her curiosity was taking over.

"You and Webber. I was jealous of you and Webber."

Miranda gasped and laughed loudly. "Me and… my God, Ben Warren. That is utterly insane. He is—the man is my mentor and one of my best friends."

"I know that now!" He answered laughing, using her phrase. "But you guys have this shorthand language and if someone asks you about him, you know exactly where he is and vice versa. It was intimidating." She blushed. She told him about the time The Chief's wife accused them of having an affair. Ben laughed hysterically. "See!?" When they'd stopped laughing, Ben said: "But, I promise, you don't have to worry about any other woman. I'm a monogamist. If I'm with one woman, I'm with her. That's it." Miranda inhaled deeply. "I'm not thinking about anyone else."

"That's what Tucker said," Miranda said before she could stop herself. Ben stopped laughing. She held her breath. She hadn't meant that.

"Let me be clear, I am not Tucker," he told her seriously.

"I know. I know that."

"Then know that what I'm telling you is true."

"Alright," she said simply.

They were quiet for a very long time. "You're asleep?"

"Nope. Just thinking."

"About what?"

"I'll tell you about it some other time, I'm exhausted."

He sighed. "There's something about you, Miranda Bailey."

"Is that so?" Miranda turned on her side.

"Yeah."

"Goodnight, Ben Warren."

"Goodnight, Miranda Bailey."


	15. The D Word

**The D Word**

"I'm not thick. I promise," Miranda was saying. "But I just need to be absolutely sure that I know what's going to happen during the procedure."

Elizabeth smiled. Even though they'd been over it twice, she didn't mind explaining it again for her very nervous client. "Well, since you and Tucker are amicable, I believe that you two can settle your issues without a judge. Only using a mediator. The one you two met with a week or so ago."

Miranda inhaled. "Right. Mediation is less-taxing and the least expensive option."

"Exactly. It may take a few more meetings, but I think you guys will be okay."

"So when…"

"You said on Monday that you were available tonight, so you're going to meet with him in a conference room tonight at 5." Miranda picked up her purse and headed for the door. Miranda nodded and looked at the woman. The woman who knew so much about her life. "Thank you, Elizabeth."

"No problem," Elizabeth responded.

Back at the hospital, Miranda stared at her phone and sucked her teeth. Tuck had a dental appointment at 5 o'clock. "Damn it," she said bumping into a stiff body. She looked up and into the face of her friend, Callie Torres.

"You're the one who bumped into me," Callie said with her wide smile.

"I sincerely hope that you're not looking for an apology," Miranda said sullenly. She released a smile to let Callie know that she was just kidding.

"Something like that," the orthopedic surgeon said with a smile of her own. What's up?" They walked into the crowded locker room.

"Your godson has to go to the dentist today, but I also have mediation with Tucker." Callie made a face. "Can you…"

"I wish I could, Bailey, but my girlfriend and I have plans to do adult things tonight. We haven't had any time together in weeks."

Miranda waved her off. "Thanks, friend." Callie hugged her. "And to think, I made you my child's godmother." Miranda scoffed.

"Hey!" Callie laughed. "I'd help you if I could." Miranda shook her head. "Ask that boyfriend of yours. I'm sure he'd do it. Show him that you trust him."

Miranda gawked at Callie. It was one thing to leave Tuck alone with Ben while she went to the grocery store or took a shower, but to let Ben take care of Tuck for a few hours was something different and completely new. She wasn't sure they were at that point yet. She told this to Callie after they finished doing a midday shoe change. "It could be a catastrophe."

"It'll be fine." Callie giggled. "Oh! There he is! Warren!" She waved Ben over.

"Hello, surgeons," Ben said waving to Callie and moving to Miranda's said. He kissed her cheek making her blush.

"Ben, Bailey has to ask you something."

"Torres," Miranda warned.

"What is it?" Ben asked looking between the women.

"It's… nothing," Miranda answered.

"Bailey, tell him!" Callie said a raising perfectly tweezed eyebrow. "Fine. I'll ask him." Miranda glowered at her. "Can you take my godson to his dental appointment?"

"Of—of course. What time?" Ben looked from Callie to Miranda.

Miranda sighed as Callie walked away, smiling. "It's at 5. You'd have to pick him up from school and take him to the dentist." She sighed. "And then take him back to my place or to your house until my meeting finishes."

"Why are you sighing?" Ben asked putting his arm around her waist.

"Because this is so last minute and I don't want to put any pressure on you. And it has to do with my son and I want him to safe. He is my pride and my joy."

"Miranda. Tuck is perfectly safe with me. This is not a problem. I'm available and it would be my ultimate… pleasure," Ben said kissing her earlobe, sending a shiver down her spine.

"You're sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. You're my girlfriend and I'm willing to help you in any way I can." Miranda smiled. She looked around to make sure they had a second alone before she stood on her toes and kissed his cheek. "So, uh, what kind of meeting are you going to?" He asked as they walked out of the locker room.

"You know the usual. Divorce mediation." Miranda tucked some hair behind her ear.

"Oh. Oh. That's tonight?" Ben rubbed his chin.

"Yes, it is," she said. "That's why I'm pushing Tuck off on you." They laughed.

"Are you nervous? Do you want to talk about it? Or something?" Ben suggested.

She thought for a second. She really wanted to talk to him about it. She was very nervous; just thinking about it made her palms sweat. "I'm okay. Just anxious. But I'm fine. No need to talk it to death."

"Well, alright. I'm about to go into surgery. So, I'll get Tuck from school at 4 or 4:15. Is that good?" She nodded. "You're amazing."

She scoffed a little and touched his hand, squeezing it. "Thank you." He leaned down and kissed her quickly on the lips. She really was grateful. She was in a bind and he'd really come through.

"Everything will be fine," Elizabeth told her putting a soothing hand on Miranda's shoulder. "Just relax."

"I know that," Miranda said hastily. "Are they coming, uh, any time this year?"

Elizabeth chuckled and patted Miranda's hands. "They should—" The lawyer was cut off by Tucker walking in the door.

"Sorry, Mandy, there was a shitload of traffic," Tucker said. He held up a hand. "I'm sorry." Miranda shook her head. Tucker stuck out his hand for Elizabeth. "I'm Tucker Jones."

"And," the mediator said breezing into the room. He was an Asian man of average height with black hair with specks of red in it. "I'm Glenn Chan. Let's get started." Everyone nodded

"Miranda, I'll be right in my office if you need anything, okay?" Elizabeth said smiling. She exited the conference room leaving Miranda alone with Tucker and the mediator.

"Thank you both for coming in today. From what I understand from speaking with both of you previously, one of the issues we need to discuss immediately is who has…William George—"

"Tuck," Miranda and Tucker said at the same time exchanging knowing glances.

"Okay, Tuck. We need to talk about who has Tuck when." Miranda snuck a look at Tucker who was looking at Glenn. She let go of a breath. Is this really what he wanted to do? She focused on the mediator. "We refer to it as a 'time-share'." Tucker leaned back in his chair. "And what we want to discuss today is what makes the most sense based on Tuck's needs and your schedules, flexibility, or lack thereof, in your work schedules." Miranda kept her eyes on Glenn. She knew that Tucker would be looking at her. Her hours at the hospital weren't the most flexible. A thought popped into her head: _Did Tucker want custody of their son?_ Her heart started to pound and she reached shakily for the glass of water that was in front of her. Was that why he was being so agreeable all of a sudden? He wanted full custody of Tuck?

"Are you okay, Miranda?" Tucker asked.

Miranda swallowed. "Yes. Thanks."

"So, who wants to start?" Glenn asked.

"I will," Tucker said raising his hand slightly. "I think the schedule that we have right now is alright. Miranda has him throughout the week and I get him on the weekends."

"How is that working out?" Glenn asked writing on the paper in front of him. "Miranda?"

"It works for me. Tuck hasn't expressed any need for change." Tucker's eyes found hers. "And we're both great parents and help the other when in need."

Glenn continued to write. "Sounds like you guys have that figured out. But I don't want to make any assumptions that what's happened in the past will be done in the future. How I usually like to start out, in a situation like this, is to get some basic information about your schedules and start to see how we can use this information to build a good parenting plan."

"Okay," Miranda acknowledged.

"Tucker, tell me a little bit about, uh, the structure of your work. Um, you know, the number of hours you work, your flexibility, that kind of thing." Glenn said.

Miranda tried to listen as Tucker went on to answer the questions, but her mind was elsewhere. She hoped that Tuck was okay with Ben. The turning of a page brought her back. "…hard during the week. Tuck spending most of the time with Miranda is… you know, fine with me." Tucker glanced at her briefly. "But I think I would like one or two nights during the week, so I'm not just a weekend dad or something like that." Miranda stared at him. His eyes were trying to apologize, but she didn't want to hear that crap. She locked her hands, if she didn't; she might go through the motions of actually strangling Tucker.

"Okay, great. Your work hours are demanding, there's some flexibility, but, since you're an accountant, your clients might demand that you work extra hours?" Glenn asked.

Tucker nodded. "Generally. Depending on the season."

"Miranda?" Glenn said.

It was her turn to speak. "Well, I'm a surgeon, so my schedule is demanding, 97.8% of the time. It's stressful and it's time-consuming." Glenn nodded and wrote something down. Miranda took a deep breath, trying not to panic. "Where Tucker can set a meeting for 3 o'clock, be finished by 4:30 and have his clients home by 5, my job isn't like that. If a patient is only supposed to have a three-hour procedure, I know that there may be complications. Stuff happens, and maybe that three hours turns into six. But I always make sure Tuck is taken care of. Someone is always looking after him, on days that I'm not finished when I'm supposed to be finished."

Glenn nodded again. "So, no real flexibility at all?" She shook her head. No use in lying. "Miranda, what are your thoughts on Tucker having Tuck few nights during the week?"

"Well, uh, what nights were you, uh, thinking about?" She asked irritated, scratching softly at her palm.

"I wasn't looking at any days in particular," Tucker said.

"But, I mean—" Miranda started.

"Alright. Alright, let me just throw something out here for a second," Glenn said. "And what I want to say is that we're looking at what's practical for you two and what's practical for Tuck."

"Exactly," Miranda echoed. "If we're going to try out this new schedule, it needs to be the same days every week. Studies have shown that more consistency is better for children. So minimizing the transitions from week to week is important as well as being consistent." Miranda's phone buzzed in her pocket. She pulled it out. It was Ben. He was texting her: **Just letting you know that everything is A-OK.** She nodded and slipped the phone back into her phone.

"So, what we'd usually do is build your decisions into an agreement with an opt-out clause. So if you both agree and everything is fine, then there's no need to change it, but if things start to get a bit shaky and we need to take another gander at it, there's no fault and no blame. Does that sound good?" Glenn asked looking from Tucker to Miranda.

"That sounds great," Miranda said smiling for the first time.

The three of them wrapped up their meeting and Glenn left the room. Tucker walked around the table and helped Miranda into her coat. "Thanks," she said slowly.

"No problem." They walked out into the hallway.

"I have to talk to my lawyer. I'll call you later." Tucker nodded and walked to the elevator. Miranda talked to Elizabeth before leaving. Waiting for the elevator, she called Ben.

"Hi, mommy!" Tuck said. The familiar sound of Tuck's videogame was playing in the background.

"Are you having fun with Ben?" Miranda asked.

"Yes!" Tuck shouted into the phone. Miranda winced. "We're at his house and he has a basketball game just like me!"

"Oh, really?" Miranda smiled. "Put Ben on the phone please."

"Sure. Here, Ben." She heard the phone switch hands.

"Hey, Miranda," Ben answered with a smile in his voice.

"Sounds like you two are having a ball."

"We are. We are," he said as Miranda stepped onto the elevator. "I told you it would be fine."

"Yeah," she told him getting off of the elevator. She looked for the exit and her eyes landed on Tucker, buying something from the vending machine. "So, I'll come to your house and pick him up?"

"We'll be waiting for you—I'll be waiting for you." Miranda smiled widely. "See you soon."

"Tucker Jones. I thought you left," Miranda said closing the distance between two of them.

"I needed to talk to you," he said holding out a bottle of orange juice and honey bun.

She lifted a corner of her mouth. "Thanks," she said accepting his peace offering.

"Can we talk for a second?" She sat down in a chair off to the side in the lobby.

Tucker sat next to her. "I'm sorry, Mandy."

"For what?" She asked turning to him.

"For basically dismantling the schedule we have now with Tuck," he said.

"It's…. okay. I guess." Tucker smirked. "Really."

"Good."

"I just… I guess I never knew you felt that way."

"I didn't know I felt that way either until he asked about it," Tucker said scratching his head. She cocked her head to the side making them both laugh. "Plus, I felt like an ass asking for more time. You're sure you're okay with it?"

"It'll be good for Tuck and that's all that matters." Tucker agreed. "You know, I think I was subconsciously jealous of you getting Tuck on the weekends. For two entire days."

"But you get him for five straight days," Tucker countered.

"Yeah, theoretically. But I only get to see him in the mornings and for a few hours after school; and then he goes to bed."

He sighed. "Very true."

"But with this schedule, I'll get some weekends and you'll get some week days. I think it'll work," Miranda said. Her eyes found his and they didn't speak for a while. The lobby was damn near silent. Miranda could hear the clock ticking on the wall. She hoped that her son was alright and that he wasn't driving her boyfriend crazy. She smiled.

"Are we really going to do this?" Tucker asked cutting into her thoughts.

"Huh?" She responded.

"Divorce. Are we really going to get a divorce?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I guess so, Mr. Jones."

"And there's nothing I can say to change your mind?" He smiled guiltily. Miranda didn't answer. "I'm only asking because you're the only woman I've ever been truly in love with." She swallowed as Tucker dropped his head. "I screwed up."

"Yeah, you did." Their eyes locked and they laughed. "I made my mistakes, too," she admitted.

Tucker nodded. "But, um, Mandy, I know how much the idea of marriage meant to you."

"It still means a lot of to me."

"I know. And I know you wanted a lifelong love like William and Elena's." She smirked. "So," he sighed deeply. "I am sorry for messing up what we had and for giving you ultimatums and for dragging this thing out longer than it needed to be."

Miranda read his face. He really was sorry. She waited for The Moment. _The Moment._ The tug in her heart that would suddenly make her attracted to him again. It happened all of the time in movies and TV shows. No matter what one half of a couple did, if they just apologized and looked sincere, the other half was expected to forgive them. And most times, they did after only a moment. Time came and went, she could only feel bad that he was leaving their joint life and going home to no one special, she had Ben. And she loved him. "You did, but it has taught me a few things."

"Like what?" He inquired.

She moved her head side to side while she thought. "Like how I was in love with you. Like how I thought you were the only man I could ever love. How I think we'll still be friends even after all of this." Tucker smiled and reached for her hand. "And how you gave me the most wonderful and the most precious gift ever nearly four years ago."

"He's amazing, isn't he?"

"Yes," she said with her eyes watering. She hadn't expected the memories to hit her so hard. They were really getting a divorce. After years and years of depending on one another and being there and fighting through the shit, they were parting ways, moving on and wishing the other well. "He's perfect."

"Did it, uh—" He ran a hand over his face slowly. She watched his face reemerge with reddening eyes. "Did it teach you anything else?"

"I always thought when the time came to let you go that I would falter, that you would apologize and that I would fall back into your arms even though I no longer fit there." Tucker squeezed her hands. "But I'm stronger and I'm just ready to move on."

Tucker picked up her hands and kissed both of them. "I love you, Miranda."

"I love you, too, probably always will, but this is goodbye to Miranda and Tucker as a couple and hello as friends." Miranda leaned over and kissed both of his cheeks and once on the lips.

Tucker moaned. "You're sure I can't say anything to…" He stopped talking as she pushed his chest, laughing. He put his hand on her shoulder and pulled her in for a hug. "You're too good."

"Ah, I know."

He nodded and clapped his hands. "So, where is my son?" He asked as they walked out of the door and to her car.

"Fine time for you to ask," she said making them laugh. "He's hanging out with Ben." Miranda watched Tucker's face to see if it showed any disappointment. Tucker's grin was still on his face. "I'm going over there now."

"Oh okay. I'll pick him up in an hour. It is the weekend and we haven't signed any papers, so it's still my time with him." Miranda scoffed. "Unless you want to try it out with the papers."

"No, no. Let's wait for Glenn to draw up the papers, I don't want any problems."

Tucker head up his hands. "Fine. Fine. I'll call you when I'm on my way."

Miranda got in her car and drove toward Ben's house. Miranda signed in at the front desk and headed up to Ben's apartment. She could hear both of their voices coming from inside of the apartment. She knocked loudly. Ben opened the door and quickly pulled her in for a kiss. It shocked her body and her senses as she accepted the kiss, putting her hands on the back of his neck. "Hi," she breathed when they separated. She looked around the messy apartment for her son. Ben's apartment was usually neat, but Tuck was like the Tasmanian Devil. He left a mess everywhere he went. He was sitting on the sofa, with a controller in his hand. "Hello, son." She walked over to him and sat down next to him. He paused the game and greeted her with a hug. She rubbed his head. She needed to remind Tucker that their child needed a haircut, desperately. "How was the dentist? Let me see your teeth." Tuck showed parted his lips and revealed his clean teeth. "Very nice. So, are you, uh, ready to go?" Tuck shook his head. "No?" He shook his head again. "Well, your dad's coming to get you tonight, so we have to go home and get your bag ready."

Tuck started to whine. Miranda took a breath and opened her mouth to curb his attitude. "Tuck," Ben interjected. "You'll be able to come back, buddy. Okay?" Tuck nodded as Miranda pursed her lips.

"Okay," Tuck said.

"Put your shoes on," Miranda said pointing to his pair of sneakers across the room.

Ben sat down on the chair next to Miranda. "So, how'd it go?" He asked putting an arm around her.

She shrugged him off. She didn't want to get too comfortable sitting next to her boyfriend while her son was only a few feet away. Ben replaced his arm and leaned over to whisper in her ear: "So, do you want to come back over tonight?" She turned to look at him, their lips only centimeters apart. She smiled as Ben kissed her nose. She giggled. "Is that a _'yes'_?"

She shrugged. "We'll see."

"That's all I need," he answered, kissing her lips quickly.

"Ready!" Tuck said coming up to them. The mother looked at her son and nodded.

"Where's your book bag?" She asked. Tuck turned around and showed her the bag on his back. "Alright. Say goodnight to Ben. We're going to get going."

"Goodnight, Ben," Tuck said shaking hands with Ben.

"Night, Tuck." Ben stood up and walked them to the door. Tuck ran ahead to get the elevator. "I'm going to be expecting you, Miranda."

"Maybe," she said teasing him.

"So…. Yes?" He asked with a laugh. She had every intention of coming back to his place.

Back at her house, Miranda helped Tuck pack. Tucker had called and said that he was on his way. He didn't need much, but Tuck liked to pick out his own clothes. When they were finished, they went downstairs to wait. "I am so hungry," she said out loud running a hand through her hair. "What did you and Ben eat?"

"He made chicken nuggets and French fries. They were good."

"Better than my nuggets and fries?" She asked him. His eyes widened and he shook his head.

The doorbell rang and Tuck rushed to answer it. "Daddy!"

Tucker scooped the boy up and hugged him tightly. "My favorite son."

"I'm the only one." Tuck giggled as his feet hit the floor.

"Miranda," Tucker said with a smile.

"Tucker," she responded with a slight nod of her head. Her phone rang in her hand. It was Ben. She silenced the phone. "Son, go and get your bag." She turned to Tucker. "So what are you guys doing this weekend?"

"Well, I thought we'd go to the movies, maybe go to a HS basketball game, to the park and go to Jump Heaven. Whatever he wants."

"Sounds like fun. And he needs a haircut." He nodded. "Thankfully there are no games are practices for a while," she said crossing her arms.

"Yeah," Tucker said rubbing the back of his neck. Tuck came out of the living room with his bag on his shoulder.

Miranda reached down to hug him. "I will see you on Monday," she told him. He nodded and kissed her cheek. "Alright. Be safe. Oh! And have fun."

"We will," father and son said at the same time. Tucker helped Tuck into his booster seat, got in the driver's seat and they were gone, disappearing around the corner.


	16. Tell Your Heart I Love You

**Tell Your Heart I Love You**

Miranda went upstairs to take a shower. It was in the shower that she remembered that Ben had called. Stepping out of bathroom, with the steam following her, she picked up her phone and called him back. "Hello, Miranda," he said smoothly.

She blushed. How in the world was he able to make her blush just by speaking her name? "Hello, Ben Warren."

"I was waiting for you to call."

"I'm calling."

Ben cleared his throat. "Maybe I wasn't clear before, but I'm being clear now. I want you to come over."

"Okay. I will be there in like 30 minutes."

"So… an hour?" He said laughing.

"Goodbye, Ben Warren," she sang rolling her eyes and ending the call. She dried off and quickly applied lotion to her body. She stood in front of her closet, donning a black and purple, chevron-patterned underwear set, and debated what to wear. She could go extra casual with a pair of leggings or sweatpants and a t-shirt or causal with jeans and a blouse or semi-formal with a dress. She would go semi-casual. She pulled out a pair of brown jeans, a white tank top and a forest green-colored sweatshirt that Tuck her given to her as a Christmas present last year. She checked the clock and put on pair of boots. Callie had dogged her into buying them when they'd gone shopping one day. They were white, gold-dusted boots and they were so comfortable. She admired herself in the mirror. She looked good; her clothes accentuated every curve of her body and after pulling her hair into a ponytail made her look and feel younger than what she was. She was ready. She reached into her drawer and pulled out two condoms. Miranda tossed them into her purse. She wasn't expecting anything, but she would not be caught off-guard or unprepared. She headed to her bedroom door, but doubled back and hurried into her bathroom and grabbed the extra toothbrush that she kept in there. Walking down the stairs, her phone rang again. Miranda answered it without looking at the caller.

Ben forwent a greeting. "I was thinking maybe I should just come to you."

"What?"

"I'm a gentleman," he said. "You shouldn't have to come to me, I'll come to you."

"Ben Warren, I have showered, lotioned, dressed and done my hair." He chuckled. "Now my hand is on the knob of my front door and I am ready to go."

"Well, when you put it like that…"

"Good. I'll be there shortly," Miranda said locking up her house. "And I'm hungry."

"I already got you covered."

"So, what's the plan for tonight?" She asked stopping at the stop sign before continuing to Ben's apartment.

"I thought we could eat a little dinner, maybe a movie or a little dancing and cuddle up—you know, the basics."

"That's it?" She asked in a snarky tone.

"Well, I, uh, plan to put my own spin on those great date classics," he answered laughing. Ben stayed on the phone with Miranda until she knocked on his door. "Is that you knocking on my door?"

"Yes," she said hanging up on him. He threw open the door.

Ben stood in the threshold. He was wearing a pair of black jeans and a long-sleeved, denim, button-up shirt. He also had a pair of all-white sneakers. She swallowed; he looked good enough to devour. "Aren't you going to invite me in?" She asked raising an eyebrow.

"Where are my manners?" Ben said holding out a hand to her.

She took it and stepped inside of his apartment. "You look fantastic," he told her spinning her around.

"I'm dressed like I'm going to a rave or something."

"You look great, Miranda."

"You look good, too," she told him.

"What? This old thing?" He said holding out his arms.

She giggled and set her purse on the table near the door. They stood near his door for a while. "So, am I going to get a hug or… or a kiss?" Ben's eyes widened. "Because it was this side of your apartment a couple of hours ago, you had your tongue in my mouth." Her heart leapt as she said it. She hoped that she wasn't coming off too aggressively.

He squinted at her. "Are you saying that you want me to kiss you?" She rolled her eyes and turned to close door. She could feel Ben right behind her. He moved around to face her, putting his arms around her waist. He leaned in and kissed her lips softly. Miranda put her arms around his neck, locking both of her hands together. The kiss was so sweet and sensual; she didn't ever want it to end. They kissed for a long time, not coming up for air. Ben's fingers touched the hem of her sweatshirt and his hands wandered up her back. She felt herself melting into his arms and was only stopped by the loud growling noise coming from her stomach. Her hands went down to her stomach. "I take it you're hungry."

"How'd you know?" She asked. They laughed as Ben ushered her towards the kitchen. "I'm going to wash my hands."

"Don't take too long," Ben said under his breath.

Sitting down at the table, Ben placed a plate in front of her. It was piping hot. She closed her eyes and inhaled. It smelled like—"Steak?" He nodded. "This plate looks great, Ben Warren."

"I remember you telling me that you love steak."

"Uh, that was you," Miranda commented with a smirk on her face. "But, for the record, I do like steak."

"And that you like mashed potatoes and green beans with your steak. So, I, uh, I added some garlic butter to the beans and the potatoes—I made them from scratch. Hope you like it." He winked and sat down across from her. "Grace?" She nodded as Ben took her hands in his and said a short prayer.

The general surgeon practically shoveled the food into her mouth. She'd known that she was hungry, but she didn't know that she had been starving. After a few minutes, she looked up to see Ben staring at her. Now, she was embarrassed and she stopped eating so quickly and slowed down. "It's good, right?" He asked. Miranda shrugged nonchalantly and she put another spoonful of potatoes and beans into her mouth. "I know it's good."

Miranda nearly choked on the food that she was chewing as she giggled. She coughed loudly. "Are you trying to make me choke?!" She said with a laugh.

"Only so I can perform the Heimlich," he said standing up. She waved him off. "More wine?"

"Yes, please." She watched as the anesthesiologist poured more wine into her glass. He set the bottle down next in front of her plate. She looked up at him and smiled. "Thank you."

"Of course," he told her, his voice making her spine shiver. Ben sat back down across from her.

She cleared her throat. "What are we doing after dinner?" Miranda asked putting her fork down and folding her hands under her chin.

"We can watch a movie?" He offered.

Miranda didn't really feel like watching a movie, but there was something that she'd like to do. "What, uh, what was that other thing that you mentioned earlier?"

"Cuddling?" He said raising an eyebrow. Miranda twisted her lips to the side and picked up her glass. She walked towards the doors leading to his balcony. She fidgeted with the lock for a second before she could finally get the doors open. From behind her, she heard soft music playing. From the first few notes, she knew exactly what song it was. She'd heard it so many times. It was one of the most sensual songs ever.

 _Let me hold you tight if only for one night/ Let me keep you near to ease away your fear_

Miranda closed her eyes and allowed the warm night air and the music to envelop her.

 _I won't tell a soul no one has to know/ if you want to be totally discreet I'll be at your side_

She swayed in the ambiance. Suddenly, her wine glass was no longer in her hand and her body was pressed against Ben's. She wondered if he could feel her heart beating through her sweatshirt. Their interlocked hands were between their bodies. Her other hand was just above his elbow and his other hand was on her waist. He pulled her closer. There was virtually no space between them. And that was just the way she wanted it.

 _Your eyes say things I never hear from you and my knees are shakin too_

They moved together effortlessly. She inhaled, breathing him into her. In addition to looking sexy, he smelled great, too. She smiled and looked up at him and then put her head on his chest.

 _I must be crazy—_

"I'm assuming…" Ben's voice said cutting into Luther Vandross' melodic bridge. The man could just flat-out sing. "That this is what you had in mind." Miranda didn't respond.

 _It would be so nice if only for tonight_

"Yes." She looked up again and locked eyes with her boyfriend. He placed both hands on her chin, lifting it gently. "I just came over here for dinner," she told him.

"I know," he said kissing her lips. Miranda let out a moan and touched his waist. She was so tempted to slide her hands under his shirt and touch his bare skin. She was feeling overwhelmed with emotions. She wanted to go slow and savor every moment, but she also wanted to take advantage of the time that they had together. Miranda pulled away. "Everything okay?" She walked to the sofa with Ben on her heels. She sat down and pulled him down as well, telling him what she'd been thinking about. He chuckled. "I am your man, Miranda." Blood rushed to her cheeks, making her face hot. He moved closer to her, touching her waist. "If you want to hold me or touch me or be mad at me, do it." Ben moved in to kiss her cheek, then her chin. "I'm yours. Alright?"

Miranda nodded as the room went silent for a second as the next song came on. "I love this song," she said taking off her boots. "Are we on a Luther kick?"

"No one more romantic," Ben said pulling her onto his lap, her legs straddled him. She gasped. She could feel him getting harder underneath her. Miranda breathed slowly. They were face to face. Ben lifted his hands to touch her hair. He stopped and grinned: "Can I?"

"Only if you promise that you won't do too much damage. It took a minute to do and it looks really nice," she said pulling her sweatshirt up a little.

"You're beautiful. And it looks great, but, uh, I can't promise that," he responded with a straight face. "Do me a favor, just shift your body a little—OhmyGod!" He exclaimed, rolling his head back.

She moved from his lap quickly. "Are you all right, did I hurt you?" She asked going into doctor mode.

"No, actually, it felt really good."

She blushed again as Ben pulled her back onto his lap and she moved her body to the exact place it'd been before. "How's that?" She asked into his ear. He groaned lowly and took a deep breath. Miranda kissed him, her chest hitting his. Ben ran his hands through her hair and she could feel her ponytail loosen.

"I am about to explode," he confessed sheepishly. She started to get up again. "But… don't move!" His command was fierce, so she waited. "Let's change the subject."

"Fine. Great," she said kissing him again.

"How, um, er, how was dinner?"

"Fine. Great," she repeated putting her hands on his chest.

"And your meeting?"

"Fine, Great." She reached up his shirt and touched his back.

"Miranda…"

"Benjamin."

"What do you want?" He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in for a wet kiss.

"That. Among other things." Miranda lifted herself from his lap and moved her hands to the button of her jeans. She watched Ben lick his lips, arousing her more than ever. "Your bedroom is that way, isn't it?" She asked, pointing.

"Y-yeah," he sputtered. "That's where I keep it."

Miranda's expression didn't change. She took a step away from the sofa and started to unbutton her pants. Ben put his arms around her, touching her stomach, fingering her stretch marks. He pulled at her sweatshirt, tugging it over her head, dropping it in the hallway. In his bedroom, he didn't bother flicking on the light. He didn't close the door either. And even though there was no one else in the apartment, the feeling that someone could possibly walk in on them turned her on. Miranda sat on the edge of the bed. Ben stood between her legs. Her hands went to his belt buckle. She looked up to see him looking down at her in amazement. He stroked her head again. She pushed his black jeans down to his knees. She exhaled deeply. "Fair warning…I'm not a pro at this."

Ben pulled up his jeans without buckling them and sat down next to her. "Baby, I'm just following your lead," he said with a little laugh. "Whatever you want to do is fine with me."

"I've only… a few times before, with Tucker, and I was never sure if he liked it or not because he never said anything, so I stopped doing it unless I was on my—but right now, I'm just yammering on because I'm so nervous—I…" Miranda stopped talking and turned to Ben.

He touched her shoulder. "Miranda. It's fine. I'd be content with your head on my chest while we watch a movie. Oo! 'Runaway Bride'.

She smiled. "Wait! So, you'd rather watch a movie than make love to me?" Her stomach fluttered.

"Eh, I feel like if I cop to either, you'd think I was lying." Her smiled turned into a laugh. "Ohh! Am I learning the language of Miranda?"

"Sounds like it. It's such a difficult language. Beautiful, but difficult. Keep trying," she told him moving backwards on the bed.

"I plan to," he answered following her. Both doctors lie on their backs. "So 'Runaway Bride'?"

Miranda laughed and turned to face him. He looked at her and pulled her into his chest, moving in to kiss her. The kiss fueled her again, making her want him. With one more kiss, she made a trail with her mouth, kissing his body through his shirt. Ben mumbled something and she put a finger to his lips, quieting him. If he said anything else, she'd lose her nerve. She moved down his body, pushing his jeans down for the second time that night. He helped her move his boxers out of the way. Miranda looked up at him and bit the corner of her lip as she concentrated on satisfying Ben. She slid her hands over his throbbing organ. Her mouth followed her hands adding to the pleasure. He ran fingers through her hair, playing with it. Miranda sped up. "Mmmhm…Okay, okay!" He groaned. "Now! I need you right now!" She looked up to see him gesturing wildly. With one teasing lick below his waist, she crawled back up his body.

She tried to avoid eye contact. He saw what she was doing and called her out on it. "So, you're just not going to look at me anymore?" He asked wrapping his arms around her body. She didn't answer. "Miranda, it was amazing, okay?" He pushed some hair behind her ear. "You felt so amazing. Please believe me." She nodded. "Alright?"

"Yeah."

"Good." Ben grabbed her face and kissed her passionately. He pulled up Miranda's tank top revealing her bra. "Damn, girl! That's sexy as hell."

Miranda giggled. "I just threw this on."

"And I'm just gonna throw it over there," Ben said unhooking her bra and tossing it to the floor. He switched their positions, his body pressing against hers. She lifted his shirt. He sat up and took it off showing her his body. Miranda reached up and touched his stomach. She found herself unable to control the urge to touch him. He removed his boxers and jeans, making him completely naked. She bit her bottom lip and stared at him. There was nothing she wanted more at the moment than to make love to him. He slipped his hands into her jeans making her shiver. Ben kissed her stomach, nibbling around her bellybutton. He licked a trail up to her chest. Miranda rubbed his head as he sucked her breasts, his hand wandering below her waist. "You're ready?" He whispered in her ear.

He kissed her neck, she whined: "Y-yes!"

"Nice. Take off your pants." She climbed under the covers and pulled off her jeans and panties. Her naked body felt a little awkward on his bed. Ben pulled a condom from the desk near his bed. He put it on the pillow near her head as he settled next to her. He turned to Miranda and put a hand on her waist. He stroked a line up and down the side of her body.

"What are you waiting for?" Miranda asked. Her body was throbbing. This is what she'd been waiting for since the last time they'd rolled out of the bed together. And she wanted it. Badly.

Ben picked up the condom and put it on. He moved on top of her and caressed her face, giving her another kiss as he eased himself into her. Miranda closed her eyes as her body jumped. That was a feeling she'd never get used to. The sensation of the first penetration during a sex session. "Ahhh," she whimpered softly. She grabbed his back and held onto him as he went deeper. Miranda wrapped her legs around his body, crossing her ankles. She never wanted to let him go, never wanted to disconnect their bodies. Ben groaned in her ear. She kissed his chest. He pulled out of her completely and reinserted himself. The pleasure was too much to bear; Miranda scratched a line down Ben's back.

"Fuck!" He yelled.

"Sorry, baby," she said hastily.

"Don't be," he responded. Ben ground his body into hers, licking circles around her nipples, sucking on them, bringing Miranda to her climax.

"Jesus! Oh my God! Please!" She begged. Her toes curled and her body tightened. She was breathing so hard.

"Mmhmm."

"Yes, baby!" She said taking her hands off of him for the first time in a long time. "Yes, Ben!" Miranda grabbed her hair and pushed it back.

"Look at me, Miranda!" Hearing him say her name made her hips leave the bed.

Her eyes found his. He smiled as Miranda felt his hand between her legs. "BEN!" Miranda orgasmed, pulling on her boyfriend and kissing him all over, tasting the sweat that covered his body.

Ben gave her a long and hard kiss as he came. "Shit, baby," he said into her mouth as he shook a little. She ran a hand through her damp hair as he moved in and out of her slowly, kissing her softly. He fell onto his back. She stared at his ceiling. Miranda was starting to breathe normally.

Miranda felt the bed move. He picked up her hand and pulled her on top of him, her legs on either side of him. "Woah!" She squealed. She hit his chest, leaning down and putting her lips on his chest. Ben held up another condom and wiggled his eyebrows. She nodded with a wide grin. He slipped it on, running a hand over her butt. Miranda shuddered. He lifted her a little and she slid onto him, gritting her teeth. She found him so attractive that it didn't take long for her to get turned on again. The general surgeon rocked her body on top of the anesthesiologist's. He sat up and put both arms around her, squeezing her, making her melt into his sbody. She kissed the spaces between his head and his shoulders, climbing his body to reach her climax once again. Ben bit her skin gently making her moan. She threw her head back and he kissed her neck. Miranda rubbed his head, shifting her body, moving her hips as they both came at the same time, wordlessly. Silently. Her heart was beating swiftly and she took deep breaths to calm it down. Ben continued to hold her as they sat still. Her toes finally uncurled, his grip on her unloosened, she took her nails out of his back, Miranda kissed him softly; she was on such a high. _Ecstasy_. That's what she felt in this moment. Miranda was never one to do drugs, she didn't even start drinking until she got to college, but she'd been high before. There had been times in the OR when she'd felt such a rush that her heart skipped even after surgery was over. Or when she saw happiness on her child's face. That was a feeling that gave her joy like nothing else. And now. Being so physically and emotionally connected to another person in a way that could only be comparable to someone being elevated on illegal substances. Ben caressed her face, bringing her back to reality, she shivered.

"Cold?" He asked looking deep into her eyes. She nodded and fell back onto the bed.

They were both quiet, lost in their own musings. Miranda's thoughts were so loud. She could hear her own voice in her head reading her thoughts aloud. Could Ben hear them, too? There were so many things she wanted to say. Did she start with how great the sex was? Or about loving him? Tell him that she was glad that she was glad that they were together? And while she didn't want to rush into anything, she was committed to him and hoped he felt the same way. She opened her mouth to tell him everything: "Ben, I—" She stopped talking. He turned to her with a raised eyebrow and smiled. She watched his chest rise and fall. It still didn't feel real yet. She looked into his smiling face again. "I always have a great time with you, Ben Warren," she said, her voice nearly hoarse from all her screaming. She blushed.

Ben chuckled. "I do, too, Miranda." She blushed again. "One of my greatest pleasures is when we're connecting on this level."

She turned on her side, signaling that she wanted him to hug her. He understood her silent request and rolled behind her, wrapping an arm around her. He kissed the back of her neck. "Baby?"

"Yes, handsome," she said, smiling.

"You know I'm in love with you, right?" Her heart moved quickly as she thought of a response. He continued. "You're gorgeous and I'm a lucky man. I'm honestly thankful for every day that I get to spend with you." He placed soft kisses behind her ear while he waited for her to speak.

"I might... be… inlovewithyoutoo," she said rushing the words out. Miranda didn't have to turn around to hear the smile on Ben's face. She knew it was there, she could feel it.

"I'm sorry, I don't think I heard that."

She bit the bullet and turned to face him. "I'm in love with you, Ben Warren." He kissed her lips softly. "And about the other night."

"Yeah? What about it?"

"When I said I was 'just thinking'. And you said 'about what'. Then, I said that I would tell you later."

"I remember." He said taking her hand in his, locking them, their palms kissing. "Ready to tell me?" He inched closer to her.

She closed her eyes. "I don't… I didn't feel like I would ever be happy with another man again. I took the pain and the hurt from my marriage with Tucker and used it to build this barrier around my heart. I didn't know…" Miranda took a deep breath and opened her eyes. Ben was looking back at her, his face warm and inviting, listening to every word she was saying. "I didn't know that it was slowly eating me inside." He called her name. She put her hand to his mouth. "I'm not saying that you changed all of that," she said with a small laugh. "But I don't feel any self-doubt when I'm around you. Or any fear. I've found in our time together that I can love someone and be loved in the same way without being afraid or—or without any insecurities." Now she was finished. Revealing something so deep and personal about herself wasn't Miranda's usual style, but having Ben be on the other end of her confession was something different. It had been a difficult road with Tucker, but having a newfound love on the other end of the journey was a great reward. And she wouldn't repeat the mistakes of her past and she would forgive herself and continue to be happy. Honestly, Miranda didn't know how long her relationship with Ben would last, they were just beginning. But he accepted her flaws and adored every part of her. And she was glad to have found a love like his.


End file.
